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Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! It was so good. I think you killed us.
莫妮卡，这真是史上最棒的感恩节大餐，太好吃了。你把我们撑死了。
Ross: I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
我连一口都吃不下了。
Joey: I need something sweet.
我要吃点甜的。
Phoebe: Does anyone wanna watch TV?
有人想看电视吗？
All: Yeah, sure.
好啊。
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
莫妮卡，你的遥控器按不动。
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
你得把它拿起来对准。
Phoebe: Oh. Aw, forget it.
算了。
Rachel: Hey, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
你们知道吗？我们应该来玩感恩告白游戏。
Joey: Ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
我要说！感谢今年的秋天这么美。
Monica: That's very nice.
说得真好。
Chandler: That's sweet, Joe.
说得真好。
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up.
那天我在等公车，突然吹来一阵秋风，把一个女生的裙子吹了起来。
Joey: Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.
对了，我还要感谢丁字裤。
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering.
与其说它是内裤，不如说是一种伟大工程。
Joey: I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! I mean is it there, is it not there?
料子那么少，效果却那么大。它还会戏弄你，有穿吗？没穿吗？
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
你知道你还在唠叨吗？
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
有没有人要感谢丁字裤以外的东西？
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
我不知道要比较感谢离婚，还是被赶出来。
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
我还以为你会没得谢。
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worst Thanksgiving ever.
抱歉，这是最惨的一次感恩节。
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriageand take that away from me.
不不不，我才是悲惨感恩节之王。你不能以失败的婚姻为理由抢了我的宝座。
Rachel: No, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
你又要说你爸妈离婚的事了？
Ross: Oh God, no.
上帝啊，不要。
Joey: No, no, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
别这样嘛，我想听。没有钱德扫兴就不算感恩节了。
Chandler: See, it's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
这跟游行一样是一项传统，如果游行也包括同性恋和抛妻弃子的话。
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce doesn't mean we don't love you.
钱德，爸爸和我要离婚，并不代表我们不爱你。
Mrs. Bing: It just means he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me.
只是代表他上床的对象是男仆，不是我。
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler?
钱德先生还要火鸡吗？
Rachel: Every time you tell that story that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker.
你把那家伙的口音说得越来越重。
Phoebe: So are he and your dad still together?
他们还在一起吗？
Chandler: No no no. After they got their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy. Should've heard his accent.
没有，他们同居之后男仆自己也有了男仆。你应该听听他的口音。
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
你说得对，你的更惨，你是悲惨感恩节之王。
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
不一定，我有一次更惨。
Chandler: Really? Worse than, "More turkey Mr. Chandler?"
惨过“钱德先生还要火鸡”吗？
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
小少爷跟仆人有仇吗？对，我的更惨。
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying...Oh no.
还要绷带！还要绷带！再给我一些绷带，这个人快……哦，不！
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
今生的才算，菲比。
Phoebe: Oh, this life! Oh ok no, Chandler's is worse.
今生是吧，那钱德的比较惨。
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
记得前世的事一定很酷，我都没有前世的记忆。
Phoebe: Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new.
当然没有，你是新生命。
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
我知道莫妮卡最惨的感恩节。
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
那个就别提了。
All: Oh, come on!
说嘛。
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
我知道，就是莫妮卡的火鸡，卡在乔伊头上那次！
Rachel: What? Joey got a turkey stuck on his head? !
什么？乔伊头上卡了只火鸡？
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
其实不是那样。
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
其实就是那样。
Joey: Hello?
你好？
Phoebe: Hello?
你好？
Joey: Phoebe?
菲比？
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
乔伊？怎么了？
Joey: Look.
你看。
Phoebe: Oh my God!
我的天哪！
Joey: I know! It's stuck!
我知道，它卡住了！
Phoebe: Easy, step. How did it get on?
小心台阶，它怎么会跑到你头上？
Joey: Well, I put it on to scare Chandler!
是我套上去想吓钱德！
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
天哪，莫妮卡一定会气死！
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
那就赶快帮我拿下来，而且这里面好臭。
Phoebe: Of course it smells bad. You have your head up a dead animal's ass!
当然很臭，你的头塞在动物尸体的屁股里。
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Monica. Oh.
是莫妮卡。
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Phoebe: Hey!
嗨！
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey basted - Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that?
你替火鸡涂……我的天哪！那是谁？
Joey: It's Joey.
乔伊啦。
Monica: What-what're you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
你在干什么？你是在搞笑吗？
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
不是搞笑，是吓人。
Monica: Well, get that off now!
马上给我拿掉！
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
拿不掉，卡住了！
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
我不管，我爸妈的二十个客人，可不能就着你的头吃。
Phoebe: All right, hold on! Ok, let's just all think.
先别急，大家一起想办法。
Monica: Ok, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. Joey? Now is not the time!
我知道了，菲比，你拉，我尽量把腿撑开。乔伊，现在不要闹。
Joey: Sorry! Right. Sorry.
对不起。
Monica: Ok, count to three. 1.2.3!
好，数到三。一，二，三！
Chandler: Arghhhhhh! !
啊啊啊！
Joey: It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
成功了！我吓到你了！
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
大哥，我在这里。
Joey: Yeah, you are! Hey! Ha-ha! I scared you!
我知道，我吓到你了！
Chandler: You did look like an idiot.
你看起来真的很白痴。
Joey: Yeah, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right?
白痴的不只是我。
Joey: Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
罗斯有一次想说冬南瓜，结果讲成南冬瓜。
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
的确一样白痴。
Monica: That's it. That's my worst Thanksgiving.
那就是我最惨的感恩节。
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one that Rachel is talking about, 'cause she didn't even know that happened.
等等，瑞秋说的不可能是那次，她根本不知道那件事。
All: Oh right. What was it? Which one?
所以是哪一次？哪一次？
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
我真的不想提这件事。
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. You know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
讲嘛，重温悲惨的回忆，是感恩节的精神。至少我觉得是，还有印第安人也是。
Monica: Look, umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
最不希望我提的绝对是你！
Chandler: What is that supposed to mean?
什么意思？
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
莫妮卡，应该是瑞秋来了。
Monica: I'll get it!
我来开！
Monica: Happy Thanksgiving!
感恩节快乐！
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
我不快乐，奇普和我分手了！
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? Wh-what happened?
为什么？怎么了？
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know how my parents are out of town and Chip was gonna come over...
你知道的，我爸妈要出门，奇普要来……
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were gonna give him you know, your flower.
对，你要给他你的花芯。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ok, Monica, can you just call it sex? ! It really creeps me out when you call it that!
莫妮卡，你能不能直接说做爱，你那样讲让我浑身发毛。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ok, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believeme!
还有，在做的时候，男人的那里不叫他的温柔。相信我！
Big Nosed Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
嗨，瑞秋！
Big Nosed Rachel: Happy Thanksgiving! Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
感恩节快乐！你也是。
Ross: Hey!
嗨。
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
天哪！
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
各位，这是钱德，我的室友兼我们乐团的主唱！
Fat Monica: Ross!
罗斯！
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
这是莫妮卡。
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler: Ok.
我是罗斯的妹妹。好。
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
欢迎你来，有很多吃的，希望你饿了。
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
妈，钱德痛恨感恩节，他不吃感恩节食物。
Mrs. Geller: Uhh. Oh I'm so glad you brought him here then.
哦，很高兴你带他来。
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler, umm, if you want, I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
钱德，我可以帮你煮起司通心面。
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, then I'm in.
只要当年的清教徒没吃我就吃。
Fat Monica: Damm it!
讨厌！
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? You know since I've been away at college.
瑞秋，我去上大学不在家，你会不会觉得怪怪的？
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh! No, not really.
那倒不会。
Ross: Well that's cool. So did...
那就好。那你……
Chandler: So that's Rachel, uh? The girl you've been writing all those songs about? Ross: Yeah.
她就是你那些歌的女主角瑞秋？对。
Chandler: You might wanna re-think the lyrics to, She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone.
你可能得修改那句“我的离去令她浑身不对劲”。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson.
奇普居然为了那个荡妇南西·布兰森而甩了我！
Big Nosed Rachel: I am never going out with him again you know. I don't care how much he begs!
我再也不跟他约会了，他再怎么求我也没用。
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
他有了南西，应该不会求你了。
Big Nosed Rachel: You know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. They're just silly, stupid boys! I must start dating men!
你知道吗？我受够高中男生了，他们全是些又笨又呆的小毛头。我要开始跟男人交往。
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl you and Jack were looking for.
茱蒂，对不起，我找不到你和杰克要的碗。
Fat Monica: Ah. Call them mom and dad you loser!
叫爸爸妈妈，傻瓜！
Ross: Monica!
莫妮卡！
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
钱德，起司通心面好吃吗？
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
很好吃，你应该去当厨师。
Fat Monica: Ok!
好啊。
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what? ! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
你猜怎样？南西很贱的传闻都是假的，所以奇普甩了她，他今天晚上想来找我！
Fat Monica: Oh that is so great! Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
太棒了！就是啊。
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen, if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
天哪，要是你和奇普晚上做了，你一定要把细节都告诉我。
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. You know it's not that big a deal, we already kinda did it once you know.
那当然，其实也没什么，我们应该算是做过一次。
Fat Monica: I know, but you know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
我知道，但这回你一定能确定！
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, honey. Oh, and Chip promised, that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
我知道。奇普还保证，这次会持续一整首歌的长度。
