评论
打印
After you and your partner get engaged, you'll be having lots of conversations-to nail down a wedding date, come up with an invite list, and figure out where to head for a honeymoon. But an engagement is about more than party planning; you two are starting a life together.
和另一半订婚后，你们将会进行多次谈话--确定结婚日期、列出邀请名单、想想去哪儿度蜜月。但订婚不仅只是计划聚会；你们俩可是要一起共度余生啊。
And that means finding out if you're on the same page when it comes to some crucial topics. These kinds of talks aren't easy. But hashing out money, career, and other important issues before you put a ring on it can strengthen your bond and give you the confidence, says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together.
而这就意味着，在一些重要的话题上，你们俩是否能步伐一致。进行这些谈话并非易事。但在订婚前，谈一些涉及金钱、职业和其它重要问题的话题可以增强你俩的纽带、让你十分自信，心理治疗师、《如何成为快乐伴侣：共同努力》（How to Be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together）一书的作者蒂娜·B·特希娜博士说道。
Do you want to have kids?
你想不想生小孩？
You probably have an idea about whether your partner wants to be a parent. "If the answer is yes, then there are many other questions to solve," says Tessina. How many children is ideal? Would you be open to adoption or surrogacy if fertility issues arise? Will one person stay home and be the primary caretaker?
你可能想过这个问题：你的另一半想不想成为爸爸/妈妈。"如果答案是想，那么很多问题都将迎刃而解，"特希娜说道。想生多少个孩子呢？如果出现生育问题，会不会愿意接受领养或代孕？会不会有人留在家里，全职照顾孩子？
How will we handle our finances?
我们该如何解决财务问题？
Money issues are a leading cause of divorce, so don't hold back on this one. "You may not think of your marriage as a business partnership, but a huge part of it is just that," says Tessina. "Just like a business, a marriage takes in income, pays expenses, and is supposed to have a little profit (think savings) left over."
财务问题是导致离婚的主要原因，所以在这个问题上不要退缩。"你可能不会把自己的婚姻想象成一个商业伙伴关系，但在很大程度上，婚姻就是这样一种关系，"特希娜说。"和做生意一样，婚姻也会有收入、支付费用，而且应该还能稍微获利（比如存钱）。"
How do you see your career evolving?
你如何看待自己的职业发展前景？
Are you a workaholic and expect your partner to have the same commitment to their career? Do you want your spouse to resign and take on a bigger role handling family issues?
你是不是工作狂？是否期待另一半也能和你一样认真对待工作？你是否希望另一半辞掉工作，更加注重家庭生活？
How involved will our families be?
家人能多大程度的介入我们的生活？
How you relate to your families is a source of tension among wedded partners. Be honest about how frequent you plan to spend time with your own parents and siblings, and what those interactions will be like-for example, do you plan to invite your parents over for dinner every weekend, or take an annual vacation with your sister and her brood? Address how involved you hope to be with your future in-laws too.
如何与家人联系是已婚夫妇闹矛盾的一个导火索。坦诚说明自己打算多长时间与父母、兄弟姐妹呆在一起，以及你们将会如何度过--比如，你是打算每周去父母家吃晚饭，还是每年与姐妹以及她们的孩子共度假期？说清楚你希望的与未来公婆的相处模式。
译文属可可原创，仅供学习交流使用，未经许可请勿转载
