Truthfully, I don't remember how I've gotten through most of my breakups. That's because they made me so depressed that I spent them watching TV and essentially becoming the filling of a Snuggie-and-couch sandwich. It just so happens that forgetting these particularly low moments of my life is one coping mechanism my brain has chosen to keep me going. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a healthy one. And, unfortunately, that's why those of us who deal with depression have to be prepared to take a few extra precautions when it comes to breakups.
说真的,我不大记得分手后都是怎么度过的。那是因为分手后的我十分难受,大部分的时间都是看剧,最终成了垃圾沙发三明治的中间馅儿。事情就这样发生了,忘记我人生中最低谷的时刻是大脑选择的让我继续前行的解决机制。但并不是说这种方法就一定健康。不幸的是,这也就是为什么抑郁症人士在分手时必须采取额外预防措施的原因。
"It's normal to be sad after the end of a relationship, have a bit of an empty feeling, and question yourself," says Michael Brustein, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. "But, ultimately, although you're sad, you still have your sense of self intact and feel lovable - you're able to maintain the hope and belief that there will be somebody else."
"分手后难过是很正常的,你会感觉空虚、会质疑自己,"纽约市临床心理学家迈克尔·布鲁斯汀心理学博士说道。"但最终,尽管你很伤心,你仍会感觉自我完整,感觉自己很讨人喜欢--你会心存希望,相信总有那么一个人在等着你。"
However, those darker feelings of depression can easily overlap with our usual sentiments after the end of a relationship. "Some of the hallmark features of depression are feelings of helplessness and worthlessness and a loss of hope for the future," says Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a psychologist in New York City.
然而,恋情结束后,抑郁症的黑暗念头很容易就会盖过我们的正常情感。"抑郁症的一些典型特征就是感觉无助、没有价值、失去对未来的希望,"纽约市心理学博士克洛伊·卡迈克尔说道。
It's the worthlessness in particular that Dr. Carmichael says has a lot of potential for fueling depression: "When somebody literally abandons you," she says, "sometimes the message that we hear is 'I didn't value you enough to have you in my life.' That can be a hit on your self-worth."
卡迈克尔博士说,尤其是无价值感很有可能导致抑郁。"当某人真的抛弃你了,"她说道,"有时候我们从中得出的信息就是'我配不上你,所以你才会离开我。'这可能会打击你的自我价值。"
Along with other major emotional life events (e.g. losing your job or the death of a loved one) breakups can absolutely trigger depressive episodes - especially if you've experienced an episode before. But it's not always easy to tell where a sense of loss ends and actual depression begins.
再加上其它重大的感情事件(例如:失去了工作或挚爱之人的离世),分手绝对可以触发抑郁症发作--尤其是之前你已发作过一次时。但知道失落感何时停止以及抑郁症何时开始并不总是那么容易的。
If you feel your sadness morph into a more all-encompassing hopelessness, Dr. Brustein says that's definitely a sign that you may be heading down a more serious road. "If you start to feel defective as a result of the breakup - you start judging your entire sense of self based on the breakup - that's a sign that it's leading to significant distress," he says.
如果你感觉自己的悲伤已演变为一种包罗万象的绝望时,布鲁斯汀博士说,这绝对是你正在走上一条更严重道路的迹象。"如果分手后你感觉自己有缺陷--你开始基于这次分手判断整个自我--这就是导致极度痛苦的迹象,"他说道。
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