With each passing decade, a handful of well-intentioned, but old-fashioned etiquette rules unceremoniously bite the dust. Seriously, when's the last time you questioned whether or not it's appropriate for an unmarried woman to have dinner unchaperoned in a man's apartment, lest she be "ruined" in the eyes of other potential suitors? Social conventions and the rules that govern them are often forced to roll with the times, whether we want them to or not.
每过十年，就有一小部分礼仪随着时间的流逝消失在我们的视野中，尽管它们满怀善意，可过时的礼仪终将被淘汰。说实在的，什么时候才是你最后一次问这样的问题：一个未婚的女人单独去一个男人的公寓吃饭合适吗？会损害她在其他潜在追求者眼中的形象吗？社会习俗和规范不会按照我们的意愿而保留或是改变，而是随着时间的流逝而变化。
Don't get me wrong — while certain etiquette standards have blessedly come and gone, I'm definitely not advocating for everyone to run wild. If anything, our times call for updated etiquette recommendations, starting with annoying smartphone habits (just try playing Words With Friends at my dinner table). The experts at The Emily Post Institute modernize the term "etiquette" to be less about chaperones and dinner fork placement and more about relationships. "To us, it means treating people with consideration, respect and honesty," the Post team explains. "It means being aware of how our actions affect those around us."
不要误解我了，尽管一些礼仪标准出现又消失，我肯定不提倡人们没有了礼仪的约束。如果有什么区别的话，我们的时代提倡现代化的礼仪，首先提倡改掉因智能手机的出现而养成的“手机病”（如边吃饭边用手机和朋友聊天）。艾米莉·波斯特研究所（Emily Post Institute）的专家们重新定义了“礼仪”一词，不再过于关注陪护以及餐叉摆放位置等繁文缛节，而是更多地强调了人际关系。“对我们来说，这个词不仅意味着关心他人、尊重他人、诚实待人；还意味着要时刻关注我们的行为如何影响周围的人，”波斯特研究所人员如是说道。
Some of the outmoded etiquette conventions we're about to cover have been rightfully scrapped. Others could certainly do with a comeback. Here are 10 etiquette rules no one follows any more — but maybe some should.
对于我们要讨论的过时礼仪，其中一些不合理的理应被遗弃，另一些必定会卷土归来。以下是10个人们不再遵守的礼仪，但也有一些礼仪我们应当依然遵守。
10.Writing Thank-you Notes
10.写感谢信
Does e-mail have anything to do with the rapid decline in thank-you note sending? If I go to the trouble of selecting, wrapping, paying for and shipping a gift or check, the least the recipient can do is let me know he or she got it, via a short note of appreciation and the modest price of postage. "It's a lost art that parents teach their children to do hand-written thank-you notes," says Jill Kirchoff, of Kennesaw, Georgia. "Children have an entitled attitude these days, and an electronic thank-you is a lazy thank-you. Show some respect and appreciation for someone's kindness and thoughtfulness!"
电邮与手写感谢信发送量的快速下降有关系吗？如果我不辞辛苦地选取、包装、付款邮寄礼物或支票，接受人至少应该做到，发一封简短的感谢信，出便宜的邮费，告诉我他们收到了。“父母不再教孩子制作手写的感谢信，这已经成为一项丢失的手艺，”佐治亚州肯尼索市的吉尔·克希霍夫（Jill Kirchoff）说，“现在的孩子们带有一种‘本应该’态度，电邮致谢是一种慵懒的感谢。应该亲手写一封感谢信，对别人的善意和体贴予以尊重和感激。”
Writing up a quick note of thanks is so easy and meaningful. Hallmark recommends the note be sent within one month of receiving the gift, and suggests including details about how you plan to use the item or money, in addition to sincere expressions of gratitude. Thirty or so words will likely gain you eternal favor among the manner-minded gift-givers of the world — and perhaps ensure you get another gift from them on your next birthday. But failure to dash off that note will probably land you a spot on their eternal "Do Not Gift" list. The choice is yours, my friends.
写一封快速的感谢信很容易，也很有意义。霍尔马克(Hallmark)推荐：感谢信要在收到礼物后的一个月内发出，除了表达真诚的感激之情，他还建议涵盖你准备如何用这些东西和钱的详情。30字左右的信便会让你得到注重礼节的赠与者永远的支持，或许还会确保你下次生日也能得到他们的礼物。但没能发出感谢信可能会让你出现在不该送礼物的名单上。朋友，这个选择在于你。
9.回执邀请函
More than a decade has passed since my wonderful wedding and I still fight back the urge to invoice the dozen or so no-shows for the significant chunk of change their thoughtlessness cost us (none of them had a good excuse, in case you're wondering whether they got a flat tire or landed a date with Brad Pitt). Save for writing about it in this article, I chose long ago to take the high road on this breach of manners.
我的完美婚礼已经过去十几年了，我仍然清楚地记得，一大堆缺席者因为要处理自己的所谓重要的事而给我们造成的损失（他们都没有好的借口，你都不知道他们是遇上汽车爆胎还是跟布拉德·皮特有一场约会）。还是留着后文讨论这件事吧，我早就决定要采取最积极的措施去改变这种违背礼仪的行为。
Sadly, failure to RSVP is one of the most rampant etiquette issues that brides and other party-planners face today. "I plan events professionally all over the country, and it baffles me the number of people who RSVP that they'll attend, then just flat out not show up," says Jenny Dell, an event planner in the higher education field. She's hardly alone in this sentiment. "It's just a simple courtesy," explains Wendy Kiessel of Acworth, Georgia. "Even if it's just so a birthday-party-mom knows how many pizzas to order!"
可惜的是，不回复邀请信这种违背礼仪的行为日渐猖獗，这也是新娘和其他活动组织者最头疼的事之一。“我面向全国承办行业活动，最苦恼的就是很多人回复说会参加，后来就找各种借口不参加。”詹妮·戴尔（Jenny Dell），一个高等教育领域的活动策划这样说道。她并不是唯一有这种苦恼的人。“这就是一个简单的礼节问题，”来自佐治亚州阿克沃思的温迪·凯瑟尔(Wendy Kiessel)说，“即使一场生日聚会，也应该回复邀请函，这样妈妈才知道定多少披萨合适。”
Manners expert Maralee McKee insists that guests should RSVP yes or no to a shindig within 24 hours of being invited. If they are unsure whether they can attend, they should still let the host know they got the invitation within 24 hours and mention there might be a date conflict. Guests should definitely not wait until after the RSVP date to reply, potentially causing the hostess to follow up with them. She's got enough on her plate.
礼仪专家玛拉立·麦基（Maralee Mckee)提议：作为客人，我们在收到盛大社交聚会邀请后的24小时内，应该回复能来还是不能来。 如果不确定自己能否参加，我们还是应该在24小时内让主人知道自己收到了邀请，并提及可能会有日期冲突。我们一定不要等到敬请回复截止日期之后再回复，这样可能会导致女主人继续准备食物，届时如果来不了，那势必会导致食物过剩啦。
8.Rules About Wearing White
8.穿白色衣服的禁忌礼仪
Ever heard that you shouldn't wear white before Easter or after Labor Day? Although it may seem like it has something to do with keeping cooler in the summer, no one knows for sure where this fashion dictate originated. In any case, many people have long since waved off this practice, with designing icon Coco Chanel eschewing the "no white" rule as early as the 1920s
不知你是否听说过劳动节过后和复活节前夕这段时间不能穿白色衣服（美国的劳动节在9月份）？这可能是为了在夏天保持凉爽，然而实际上，并没有人确切地了解这种时尚的清规戒律究竟从何而来。不过无论如何，如今很多人早已打消了这种做法，早在上世纪二十年代，可可香奈儿的图标设计就已经避开了“不能有白色”的禁忌。
Another rule related to white was that second-time brides shouldn't go down the aisle in a white gown and veil. Although white has long been associated with virginity, its fashion origins are actually more about celebration, say the experts at The Knot. What better reason to celebrate than a second (or third!) shot at love? All brides should feel beautiful on their big day, whether it be in a gown of white, cream or hot pink. However, the veil should still be worn only at a first wedding, particularly the kind that covers your face.
另一条关于穿白色衣服的禁忌礼仪是：第二次结婚的新娘在婚礼时不能穿戴白色的礼服和面纱。爱结网（The Knot——美国最受欢迎的婚礼服务媒介）的专家说过，虽然很长一段时间以来，人们都认为白色代表贞洁，但实际上从时尚的起源看来，白色更多的是和庆祝相关。有什么更好的理由来庆祝一个女人第二次（或者第三次）重获爱情呢？那就是无论婚纱是白色、奶油色，还是亮粉色，所有的新娘都应该在她们人生中最重要的一天变得美美的。不过，面纱还是应该只在第一次婚礼的时候戴，尤其是那种遮住脸部的款式。
Another fashion faux pas was wearing bright colors after a certain age. "My great-grandmother used to say that only little girls and ladies of the evening wear red shoes," recounts Courtney Hood of Smyrna, Georgia. "She would be horrified if she looked in my closet."
另一件在时尚方面有失礼节的事就是，在上了一定年纪后还穿色彩鲜艳的衣服。来自佐治亚州士麦那市的考特尼·胡德（Courtney Hood）说：“以前我的曾祖母常说，只有小女孩和妓女才穿红鞋子。要是她看到我的衣橱，她一定会吓坏的。”
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