A Fundamental Technique in Handling People
与人打交道的基本原则
Dale Carnegie
戴尔·卡耐基
B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. Criticism is usually futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes him strive to justify himself. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes. Criticism is also often dangerous because it wounds a person's pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.
世界著名的心理学家B. F. 斯金纳,通过实验证明,动物在做了好事得到奖励的情况下,会比它在因犯错而受到惩罚的情况下学得更快,而且学到的东西保留得也更长久。后来的研究表明,这对人类也同样适用。批评通常是无用的,因为它通常促使人们为自己辩护,使人们想尽一切办法证明自己是有道理的。我们用批评的办法,很难永久地改变人或事。同时,批评往往还十分危险,因为它会伤害一个人的自尊,打击他的自信,从而激起他的愤怒。
On the morning of April 15, 1865, as Abraham Lincoln lay dying, Secretary of War Stanton said, "There lies the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever known."
1865年4月15日的早晨,就在亚伯拉罕·林肯躺在那里即将离世的时候,当时的作战部长斯坦顿说了一句话:“躺在这里的是世界上有史以来最懂得如何驾驭人的领导者。”