The ballet world is notoriously brutal in its physical and emotional demands. The primary goal is absolute perfection. Unlike a professional athlete, which many believe Bissell could have become, a ballet star never has the satisfaction of knowing a final score, or of beating the competition. He competes only against himself—and for a perfectionist this may be the harshest competition of all.
芭蕾舞对体力和情感的要求很苛刻,这是出了名的,而绝对完美是其首要目标。许多人认为比斯尔本应成为一名职业运动员,而芭蕾舞明星与运动员不同,永远不能通过知晓最终比赛结果或在竞争中获胜而获得满足感。他只和自己竞争——对于一个完美主义者来说,这可能是最严酷的竞争。
When young Bissell set off for life, his mother believes he carried with him seeds that would lead to his destruction. Patrick was one of five children born in six years to Patricia and Donald Bissell, an ambitious young couple who moved six times by the time Patrick was 12.
比斯尔的母亲认为,从他离家奋斗开始,他就埋下了会导致其毁灭的种子。帕特里克是帕特里夏和唐纳德·比斯尔在6年里生下的5个孩子中的一个,到帕特里克12岁时,这一对雄心勃勃的年轻夫妇已搬迁了6次。
Patricia Bissell, herself terribly frustrated during those years, is convinced that her son's self-esteem was so battered by her emotional and physical beatings when he was a child that he carried with him a deep-seated hatred of himself. True or not, Patrick Bissell's life seems tormented from the time he was a very young man.
帕特里夏·比斯尔本人在那些年里深受挫折,她深信儿子的自尊心在童年时就由于她对其身心的打击而受到了伤害,他因此对自身有一种根深蒂固的仇恨。不管她说的是否属实,帕特里克·比斯尔似乎自童年起生活就受到了困扰。
Every indication is that, even early in his career, Bissell was addicted to cocaine, alcohol and other drugs. But his strength and skill were so tremendous that he was able to perform the most demanding work without his managers' knowing the truth.
各种迹象表明,甚至,在比斯尔舞蹈生涯的初期,他就已对可卡因、酒精和其他毒品产生了依赖。但是他的力量和技艺超人,总能够完成要求最严格苛刻的表演,而他的经理人却不知晓任何实情。
In her autobiography, Dancing on My Grave, ballerina Gelsey Kirkland claims that Bissell introduced her to cocaine soon after his success in New York City, thus setting their private stage for a long affair of sex and drugs.
女芭蕾舞演员格尔西·柯克兰在其自传《坟墓上的舞蹈》中声称,比斯尔在纽约市一举成名后不久,便诱使她吸食了可卡因,从此他们之间保持着长期的性关系,并共同吸食毒品。