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College students need to stand back and see where they are in the independence/dependence struggle.
大学生需要退一步来审视自己在独立性与依赖性的冲突中所处的位置。
Probably one of the most stressful matters for young college students is establishing their sexual identity, which includes relating to the opposite sex and projecting their future roles as men or women. Each must define her or his sexual identity in a feminine or masculine role. These are exciting times yet frustrating times. Probably nothing can make students feel lower or higher emotionally than the way they are relating to whomever they are having a romantic relationship with.
或许对于大学生来说，最有压力的问题之一就是确立自己的性别身份，这包括与异性的关系以及设计他们未来作为男人或者女人的角色。每个人都必须将其性别定位于女性或者男性角色。这是一个令人兴奋的时期也是一个让人沮丧的时期。可能没有什么能比恋爱更能让学生们在情感上大起大落的了。
At the same time, these young adults are learning how to give and receive affection in the adult world. This aspect of growth deals not only with interaction with the opposite sex but with friends of both sexes and all ages. As they grow and reach young adulthood, the way they relate to others changes. It is a time when they as adults should think about how they relate to and show proper respect for peers, how they relate to the children and young adolescents in their lives, and how they relate to their parents and show them affection. For example, when I was a graduate student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, I visited my parents after I had just finished a course in counseling. During the course I had come to realize that while my world was expanding and new options were opening for me, my father, who was in his sixties, was seeing his world shrink and his options narrow.
与此同时，这些年轻的成年人正学着如何在成人的世界里接受和付出感情。这方面的成长不仅涉及与异性的相处，而且牵涉到与不同性别及年龄的朋友的相处。随着他们长大成人，他们与别人交往的方式也在改变。这时候作为成年人，他们应该思考如何与同龄人相处以及表示适当的尊重；如何在自己的生活中与孩子、青少年交往以及如何与父母交流并表达自己对父母的爱。例如，我在西南浸会神学院读研究生时，曾在完成一门咨询课程后就去探望我的父母。在学习该课程的过程中我渐渐意识到，当我的世界不断扩展、新的选择不断出现时，我的父亲，一个年过花甲之人，正在目睹自己的世界在缩小，选择也在减少。
