What does benching mean in a relationship?
在一段关系中,替补意味着什么?
If you know sports, you know about benching. The person on the bench is the person who is suited up to play but may not get to play unless something happens with the starters.
如果你了解体育,你就会知道替补。替补席上的人是适合上场但可能没有机会上场的人,除非首发球员出了什么意外。
In a relationship it has a similar vibe. It is keeping someone on the chain, keeping them close enough so they think they have a shot at playing the game but keeping them on reserve if the A-list players don't work out.
在恋爱关系中,它有类似的感觉。它让某人处于束缚之中,让他们离得足够近,这样他们就以为有机会上场,但如果一线队员没有下场,他们就被留在替补席上。
The bencher, the person who does this to someone, gives the benched person just enough validation and interest for them to believe that they may be pulled in doing things like text messages DMS, staying in touch, liking their posts.
替补给了被替补的人足够的认可和兴趣,让他们相信他们可能会被吸引去做一些事情,比如发短信、保持联系、点赞帖子。
It's an unkind strategy because it is basically the equivalent of the bencher putting someone on ice until they want them or need them a sort of Plan B.
这是一种不友好的策略,因为它基本上相当于将替补队员搁置一旁,直到他们想要或需要他们采取B计划。
It's an unfortunate strategy because benching can play on the benched person's loneliness, genuine interest.
这是一种不幸的策略,因为替补可以利用被替补队员的孤独感和真正的兴趣。
And they are being future faked and breadcrumbed, getting just enough to believe they have a chance.
他们被未来和面包渣人欺骗,只是为了相信自己有机会。
People being benched learn to subsist on hope and false promises.
被替补队员学会了依靠希望和虚假的承诺生存。
The other person's willingness to bench you gives you some insight into this person's willingness to do what works for them with little regard for your feelings.
对方愿意让你替补,这让你了解到这个人愿意做对他们有利的事情,而很少考虑你的感受。