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And last week, something even more terrifying had happened. Now, from under her mattress, Lydia extracted a small white envelope.
上周，更可怕的事情发生了。现在，莉迪亚从她的床垫下取出一个白色的小信封。
Part of her hoped that, somehow, it would have changed; that over the past eight days the words would have eroded so she could blow them away like soot, leaving nothing but a harmless blank page.
她一方面希望，不管怎样事情会有所改变：在过去的八天里，这些字会被腐蚀掉，这样她就可以把它们像烟灰一样吹走，只留下一张无害的白纸。
But when she blew, just one quick puff, the paper quivered. The letters clung.
但当她吹的时候，只要快速地吸一口，纸就会颤抖。信上写着：
Dear Mr. Lee: We thank you for your participation in our new early admission process and are very pleased to welcome you to the Harvard Class of 1981.
亲爱的李先生，我们非常感谢你参与我们的提前录取流程，也非常欢迎你加入哈佛1981届毕业生。
For the past few weeks, Nath had checked the mail every afternoon, even before he said hello to their mother, sometimes before he took off his shoes.
在过去的几周里，纳每天下午都要查看邮件，甚至在跟母亲打招呼之前，有时在他脱鞋之前。
Lydia could feel him aching to escape so badly that everything else was falling away.
莉迪亚可以感觉到他非常渴望逃走，以至于其他一切都在消逝。
Last week, at breakfast, Marilyn had leaned Lydia’s marked-up math homework against the box of Wheaties.
上星期吃早饭时，玛丽琳把莉迪亚标记过的数学作业靠在一盒麦片上。
"I checked it last night after you went to bed," she said. "There's a mistake in number twenty-three, sweetheart."
她说：“昨晚你睡觉后我检查了一下，第二十三题有个错误。”
Five years, a year, even six months earlier, Lydia would have found sympathy in her brother's eyes. I know. I know. Confirmation and consolation in a single blink.
五年，一年，甚至六个月之前，莉迪亚都会在她哥哥眼中找到同情。眨眼之间就得到了确认和安慰。
This time Nath, immersed in a library book, did not notice Lydia's clenched fingers, the sudden red that rimmed her eyes. Dreaming of his future, he no longer heard all the things she did not say.
这一次，纳沉浸在图书馆里的一本书里，没有注意到莉迪亚捏紧的手指和突然红了的眼眶。他梦想着自己的未来，再也听不到她说的任何话了。
He had been the only one listening for so long. Since their mother's disappearance and return, Lydia had been friendless.
这么长时间以来，只有他一个人在听。自从母亲离开又回来以后，莉迪亚一直没有朋友。
Every recess that first fall, she had stood to the side, staring at the First Federal clock in the distance.
在第一个秋天的每次课间休息时，她都站在一边，凝视着远处的第一联邦时钟。
Each time a minute ticked by, she squeezed her eyes shut and pictured what her mother might be doing — scrubbing the counter, filling the kettle, peeling an orange — as if the weight of all those details could keep her mother there.
每过一分钟，她就把眼睛闭上，想象着母亲可能在做的事：擦洗柜台，往水壶里装水，剥桔子皮，似乎所有这些细节的重量可以让母亲留下来。
Later she would wonder if this had made her miss her chance, or if she had ever had a chance at all.
后来她会想，这是否使她失去了机会，或者她是否曾经有过机会。
One day she had opened her eyes and found Stacey Sherwin standing before her: Stacey Sherwin of the waist-long golden hair, surrounded by a gaggle of girls.
有一天，她睁开眼睛，发现史黛丝·舍温站在她面前：史黛丝·舍温留着齐腰长的金色头发，周围是一群叽叽喳喳的女孩。
In Middlewood's kindergarten class, Stacey Sherwin was the kingmaker, already adept at wielding her power.
在米德尔伍德的幼儿园课堂上，史黛丝·舍温是风云人物，很擅长运用自己的权力。
A few days earlier, she had announced, "Jeannine Collins stinks like garbage water," and Jeannine Collins had peeled away from the group, ripping her glasses from her tear-smudged face, while the other girls in Stacey's coterie tittered.
几天前，她曾宣布，“珍妮·柯林斯就像垃圾水一样臭。”珍妮·柯林斯已经从人群中走了出来，从满是泪痕的脸上摘下眼镜，和史黛丝一伙的其他女孩都在窃笑。
Lydia, from a safe distance, had watched this unfold with awe.
莉迪亚在安全距离之外，怀着害怕地注视着这一切。
Only once, on the first day of kindergarten, had Stacey spoken to her directly: "Do Chinese people celebrate Thanksgiving?" And: "Do Chinese people have belly buttons?"
只有一次，在幼儿园的第一天，史黛丝直接对她说：“中国人庆祝感恩节吗？中国人有肚脐吗？”
"We're all going over to my house after school," Stacey said now. Her eyes flicked briefly to Lydia's, then slid away. "You could come, too." Suspicion flared in Lydia.
“放学后我们都要去我家，”史黛丝现在说。她快速扫了一眼莉迪亚的眼睛，然后又移开了，说道：“你也可以来。”莉迪亚突然起了疑心。
Could she really have been chosen by Stacey Sherwin?
她真的会被史黛丝·舍温选中吗?
Stacey kept looking at the ground and wound a ribbon of hair round her finger and Lydia stared, as if she might be able to see right into Stacey's mind. Shy or sly? She couldn't tell.
史黛丝一直盯着地面，手指上缠着一根发带，莉迪亚盯着她，好像能看穿史黛丝的心思似的。害羞或狡猾？她不知道。
And she thought, then, of her mother, her face peering through the kitchen window, waiting for her to arrive. "I can't," she said at last. "My mom said I have to come straight home."
这时，她想起了她的母亲：她的脸从厨房窗户向外凝视着，等着她回家。她最后说道：“我不能去，我妈妈说我必须径直回家。”
Stacey shrugged and walked away, the other girls trailing behind her.
史黛丝耸耸肩走开了，其他女孩子跟在她后面。
In their wake came a swell of sudden laughter, and Lydia could not tell if she had been left out of the joke or if she had been the joke herself. Would they have been kind to her or mocked her?
她们身后突然传来一阵笑声，莉迪亚不知道自己是否被排除在这个笑话之外，还是她自己就是这个笑话。她们会友好待她还是嘲笑她？
