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Ten years later it had still not come undone. Years passed.
十年过去了，这仍然没有结束。这么多年过去了。
Boys went to war; men went to the moon; presidents arrived and resigned and departed.
男孩子们去打仗了；人类登上了月球；总统上任，辞职，离世。
All over the country, in Detroit and Washington and New York, crowds roiled in the streets, angry about everything.
在全国各地，在底特律、华盛顿和纽约，人们涌上街头，对一切都感到愤怒。
All over the world, nations splintered and cracked: North Vietnam, East Berlin, Bangladesh.
在世界各地，在北越、东柏林和孟加拉国，国家四分五裂。
Everywhere things came undone. But for the Lees, that knot persisted and tightened, as if Lydia bound them all together.
一切都没有结束。但对于李家，那个心结依然在那儿，而且越来越紧，仿佛是莉迪亚把他们全都绑在一起似的。
Every day, James drove home from the college—where he taught his cowboy class term after term after term, until he could recite the lectures word for word—mulling over the slights of the day:
每天，詹姆斯从大学开车回家，他在那里教授牛仔课，一学期又一学期，直到他能一字不差地背诵讲课内容，思索着一天中的锁匙：
how two little girls, hopscotching on the corner, had seen him brake at the stop sign and thrown pebbles at his car;
两个小女孩在拐角处看到他在停车标志前刹车，并朝他的车扔石子。
how Stan Hewitt had asked him the difference between a spring roll and an egg roll; how Mrs. Allen had smirked when he drove past.
斯坦·休伊特问他春卷和蛋卷的区别；艾伦太太在他开车经过时笑得很开心。
Only when he reached home and saw Lydia did the bitter smog dissipate. For her, he thought, everything would be different.
直到他回到家，看见莉迪亚，那令人难受的烟雾才消散。他想，对她来说，一切都会不同。
She would have friends to say, Don't be an idiot, Stan, how the hell would she know? She would be poised and confident;
她会有朋友说，别傻了，她怎么会知道斯坦？她会泰然自若，信心十足;
she would say, Afternoon, Vivian, and look right at her neighbors with those wide blue eyes.
她会说，下午好，薇薇安，然后用那双大大的蓝眼睛看着她的邻居们。
Every day, the thought grew more precious.
每一天，这种想法都变得越来越珍贵。
Every day, as Marilyn unboxed a frozen pie or defrosted a Salisbury steak—for she still refused to cook, and the family quietly accepted this as the price of her presence—she made plans: Books she would buy Lydia. Science fair projects. Summer classes.
每天，当玛丽琳打开盒装的冷冻派或解冻的索尔兹伯里牛排时（因为她仍然拒绝烹饪），她的家人平静地接受了这个她在家的代价——她制定了计划：她会给莉迪亚买书，报名科学合理的项目和暑期课程。
"Only if you're interested," she told Lydia, every time. "Only if you want to." She meant it, every time, but she did not realize she was holding her breath. Lydia did. Yes, she said, every time. Yes. Yes.
她每次都对莉迪亚说：“只要你感兴趣，只要你愿意。”她每次都是认真的，但她没有意识到她是在屏住呼吸。莉迪亚确实感兴趣。她每次都说好的。
And her mother would breathe again. In the newspaper—which, between loads of washing, Marilyn read front to back, metering out the day, section by section—she saw glimmers of hope. Yale admitted women, then Harvard.
她的母亲又可以呼吸了。在洗碗间隙，玛丽琳从头到尾读着报纸，一节一节地计算着日子。她看到了希望的曙光：耶鲁招收女生，然后是哈佛。
The nation learned new words: affirmative action; Equal Rights Amendment; Ms.
这个国家有一些新词：平权行动；平等权利修正案；女士。
In her mind, Marilyn spun out Lydia's future in one long golden thread, the future she was positive her daughter wanted, too:
在她的脑海里，玛丽琳用一根长长的金线编织出莉迪亚的未来，这个未来也是她女儿想要的：
Lydia in high heels and a white coat, a stethoscope round her neck; Lydia bent over an operating table, a ring of men awed at her deft handiwork. Every day, it seemed more possible.
莉迪亚穿着高跟鞋和白色外套，脖子上戴着听诊器；莉迪亚俯身在手术台上，一群男人对她灵巧的手艺感到敬畏。每一天，这种可能性都在增加。
Every day, at the dinner table, Nath sat quietly while his father quizzed Lydia about her friends, while his mother nudged Lydia about her classes.
每天吃饭的时候，纳都静静坐着，他父亲问起莉迪亚的朋友们，而他的母亲则用胳膊肘推着莉迪亚上课。
When they turned, dutifully, to him, he was tongue-tied, because his father—still seared by the memory of a smashed television and his son's slapped face, did not ever want to hear about space.
当他们恭恭敬敬地转向他时，他张口结舌，因为父亲还在为一架被砸碎的电视机和儿子被打耳光的记忆所折磨，也从来不想听关于太空的事。
And that was all Nath read or thought about. In his spare moments, he worked his way through every book in the school card catalog. Spaceflight. Astrodynamics. See also: combustion; propulsion; satellites.
这就是纳看到和想到的。在业余时间里，他把学校卡片目录上的每一本书都看了个遍。太空飞行。天体动力学。另请参阅：燃烧；推进；卫星。
After a few stuttering replies, the spotlight would swivel back to Lydia, and Nath would retreat to his room and his aeronautics magazines, which he stashed under his bed like pornography.
结结巴巴答了几句后，聚光灯又转回到莉迪亚身上，纳则回到自己的房间和航空杂志上，他把它藏在床底下，就像藏色情书一样。
He did not mind this permanent state of eclipse: every evening, Lydia rapped at his door, silent and miserable. He understood everything she did not say, which at its core was: Don't let go.
他并不在乎这种永久的颓丧状态：每天晚上，莉迪亚都要默默地、痛苦地敲他的门。他明白她没说的话，其核心就是：不要放手。
When Lydia left—to struggle over her homework or a science fair project—he turned his telescope outward, looking for faraway stars, far-off places where he might one day venture alone.
当莉迪亚为了家庭作业或科学展览项目而离开时，他把望远镜向外转，寻找遥远的星星，遥远的地方，也许有一天他会独自冒险。
And Lydia herself—the reluctant center of their universe—every day, she held the world together. She absorbed her parents' dreams, quieting the reluctance that bubbled up within.
而莉迪亚这个勉强成为他们宇宙中心的人，每天都把世界维系在一起。她承载了父母的梦想，平息了心中涌起的不情愿。
Years passed. Johnson and Nixon and Ford came and went. She grew willowy; Nath grew tall. Creases formed around their mother’s eyes; their father’s hair silvered at the temples.
多年过去了。约翰逊、尼克松和福特来来去去，总统换了好几届。她变得很苗条了；纳长得很高了。妈妈的眼睛周围出现了皱纹；父亲的鬓角已变成银白色。
Lydia knew what they wanted so desperately, even when they didn't ask. Every time, it seemed such a small thing to trade for their happiness.
莉迪亚知道他们急需什么，即使他们没有问。每一次，似乎一件小事就能换来他们的幸福。
So she studied algebra in the summertime. She put on a dress and went to the freshman dance. She enrolled in biology at the college, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, all summer long. Yes. Yes. Yes.
所以她在夏天学习代数，穿上裙子去参加新生舞会，整个暑假都在大学里学习生物。
