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"We're like family."
“我们就像一家人。”
This is a phrase that's become quite popular in our places of work to try to make work feel a little less like this and a little bit more like this.
这句话现在在职场越来越风靡，试图为我们营造一种感觉：工作不是这样的——而是这样的——。
It's a phrase that started in the last decade or two to try to elicit feelings of warmth and belonging and really that "cool culture" vibe.
这是一二十年前出现的一句话，旨在唤起人们的心中的温暖和归属感，以及真正的“酷文化”的氛围。
The laid-back break rooms with beanbag chairs and the beer on tap and those tight-knit teams that got through everything together like a family.
悠闲的休息室里摆上了懒人沙发和啤酒机，紧密团结在一起的团队像一家人一样，能够一起度过万难。
It's a phrase that started with positive intent and has had positive outcome.
这句话本意是好的，结果也是好的。
However, what's gone far less recognized and discussed is how calling work our family can actually be quite detrimental to our mental and emotional health without our knowing it.
但人们很少意识到，也很少被大家讨论的问题是，“把公司当做家”这件事在不知不觉中会对我们的心理和情绪健康造成很大的伤害。
Which is why I'm here today to offer the reminder that work is not your family.
这就是为什么今天我想提醒大家，公司不是你的家。
And to explore how this "cool culture" catchphrase often ends up breeding burnout instead.
并解释为什么这个“酷文化”口号会让人们精疲力尽。
My name is Gloria Chan Packer.
我叫格洛丽亚·陈·帕克。
I am a mental wellness educator and an experienced corporate leader.
是一名心理健康教育工作者，也是一名经验丰富的企业领导。
In 2018, I founded a company called "Recalibrate" to try to deliver workplace mental wellness services that were more modern, accessible and science-backed.
2018年，我成立了一家名为“校正”的公司，想要提供更现代化、更容易获得、更有科学依据的职场心理健康服务。
Since that time, I and my team have gotten to work with almost 20,000 employees all over the world.
从那时起，我和我的团队已经与世界各地的近2万名员工一起工作过。
Now, the reason this topic, exploring how calling work our family can be problematic and breed burnout, the reason it's important to me is because I've personally lived it.
现在，我为什么要谈论这个话题，为什么谈论把公司当成家存在很多问题，并且会让人筋疲力尽，以及为什么这个话题对我十分重要，是因为我亲身经历过。
Before we get into that, though, let's first baseline by understanding why calling work our family at its core can be problematic.
不过，在我们开始讨论这个问题之前，首先让我们先了解一下，为什么把公司当成家究其根本会导致问题的出现。
Doing so, psychologically infers a really big blur and betrayal in our boundaries.
因为这样会让我们心理上的边界变得模糊，逐渐偏离。
Work and family are different entities with different goals, expectations and responsibilities, and therefore should be separated and boundaried.
公司和家庭是不同的，我们在不同的地方要实现不同的目标、满足不同的期望，承担不同的责任，因此它们应该泾渭分明，划清界限。
For example, I'm not going to be in the shower one day and notice a really weird mole on my pregnant belly and roll into my boss's office like I would my mom and be like, "Hey, can you can you get in here and look at this?
例如，我不会在哪天洗澡的时候，因为注意到我的孕肚上有一颗非常奇怪的痣，就像对我妈妈一样冲进我老板的办公室，然后说：“嘿，你能过来帮我看看这个吗？
This looks kind of weird.
这看起来有点怪。
I'm freaked out."
我有点害怕。”
A few of us are giggling or laughing, but I'm sure a few of us, too, in our heads are like, "Oh, have I done something weird like that at work?
有些人在笑，但我相信有些人会在脑海中回想，“哦，我在工作中做过什么奇怪的事情吗？
Have I crossed a boundary before?"
我以前有没有越过界？”
Boundaries are hard for a lot of us because many of us never learned boundaries.
边界对我们很多人来说都很难理解，因为我们中的许多人根本不知道边界这回事。
It's kind of a newer, buzzy phrase that not many of us really have learned or defined before.
这是一个全新的、时髦的说法，我们中并没有多少人真正听说或定义过它。
So let's start by defining what boundaries are and why they're so important to our mental health.
因此，首先让我们定义什么是边界，以及为什么它对我们的心理健康十分重要。
I like to think of boundaries as our ability to identify, communicate and take action on our needs.
我喜欢把边界看作是我们识别、沟通和采取行动，以满足自身需求的能力。
Being able to say, "I need to eat," "I need to rest," "I need some space right now."
有能力说出，“我想吃东西”，“我想休息”，“我现在需要一些空间。”
Survival speaking, boundaries are critical for us as humans to be able to say, "I need something," to be able to find safety and resourcing.
从生存的角度讲，边界对于人类来说是至关重要的，人类得意识到“我需要一些东西”，才能去获取庇护和资源。
However, it can also be advantageous in certain situations to delay or deprioritize our needs too.
然而，在某些情况下，延迟或者暂缓需求也是有好处的。
For example, if I'm a human back in the day, running away from a tiger, if I happen to be hungry, it will, of course, be beneficial to delay that need for hunger until I'm safe again.
例如，如果我生活在很久以前，正在逃脱老虎的追捕，这时我碰巧饿了，到我再次安全了再去考虑吃饭问题才是正确的。
However, if, after the tiger has left and I'm safe, I keep staying stuck and being scared of the tiger and delaying my hunger and not eating, that becomes unhealthy too.
然而，如果老虎离开以后，我安全了，却还是一直愣在那里，惊魂未定，不去解决食物问题，不吃东西，这也是不健康的。
