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You might not know this just from looking at me, but you might guess it from smelling me.
你光看我可能不会知道，但闻我的味道可能猜得到。
One of my favorite things to do is take out the trash.
倒垃圾是我很喜欢做的一件事。
It's the laziest way to technically pare down your possessions,
从技术上讲，这是减少杂物最懒惰的方法，
because the one thing you can never do enough of in a small New York City apartment like mine is get rid of stuff.
因为在像我住的纽约小公寓里，有件事怎么做也不够，那就是把东西丢掉。
The stuff that our modern consumerist carbon-powered culture makes us buy endlessly and often for no reason.
我们的现代消费主义碳动力文化让我们无缘无故地不停买东西，而且经常毫无理由地去买。
Getting rid of people never hurts either.
把人丢掉伤害不了彼此。
Roommates, family members, that old lady who's been in your living room for weeks.
室友、家人，那个在你客厅里住了好几个礼拜的老太太。
Who is she anyway? No squatters allowed. I don't care if you're a ghost.
她到底是谁？赖着不走的不速之客我可不欢迎。就算你是鬼也一样。
Also, not to brag, but I've been micro-decluttering since before Marie Kondo got big.
还有，我不是吹牛，近藤麻里爆红之前，我就在“微”整理了。
In fact, I've cut out her step of picking things up and figuring out whether they spark joy in me
事实上，她那个考虑哪样东西让你心生欢喜的步骤已经被我省掉了，
because I already know what sparks joy in me, throwing out trash.
因为我已经知道什么会让我心生欢喜：倒垃圾。
What kind of trash? Well, I'll give you a clue.
什么样的垃圾？好吧，我给你一个提示。
It starts with H and it ends with air. That's right, it's a lot of hair.
它是H开头，air结尾。没错，就是一堆hair（头发）。
Don't try and picture how much; you'll feel sick. And if you don't feel sick, you haven't pictured enough.
劝你不要想有多少头发，你会觉得恶心。如果你不觉得恶心，就是你想象得不够多。
I shed like an Instagram influencer sheep dog who's decided fur is the only thing holding her career back.
我就像Instagram网红牧羊犬一样会掉毛，她认为毛是她事业的唯一障碍。
We're all trying to reduce our carbon footprints and consumption.
我们都在努力减少自己的碳足迹和消费。
So by throwing out trash, I also naturally mean recycling and composting. I try to do both.
所以我所谓的倒垃圾，也包括垃圾回收和堆肥。这两样我都尽量做。
In fact, I once carried a takeout container across half the city just to put it in the right bin.
事实上，我曾经拿着一个外袋包装穿越半个城市，为的只是把它放在该放的回收桶里。
Where's my inspiring biopic? But then I learned recycling frequently isn't working.
怎么还没人来拍我的励志传记片？但是后来我发现常常做回收没用。
Even if we all separate out glass, cans and cardboard, a lot of stuff doesn't neatly fit into those categories.
就算我们把玻璃、金属罐和纸板都分类，还有很多东西不属于这些类别。
Paper envelopes lined with bubble wrap can't be recycled. Pizza boxes with grease stains can't be recycled.
气泡信封袋不能回收，沾到油渍的披萨纸盒也不能回收。
That memory from seventh grade when I... Ah, who am I kidding?
我记得七年级的时候...哦，别开玩笑了，
All of seventh grade can't be recycled. There's even a term for it: aspirational recycling.
七年级的一切都不能回收了。甚至还有一个术语来形容它，即有抱负的回收。
At first, I thought that's if you went to spin class last week, so it should count for this week too.
刚开始我以为那意思是，如果你上周去上了有氧飞轮课，这周的也算上过了。
China used to import a lot of the US's recyclables, but they stopped accepting foreign garbage in 2018 as part of a pollution ban.
中国过去进口了很多美国的回收品，但他们在2018年发布污染禁令后，就不再接受外国垃圾了。
Whatever happened to one country's trash is another country's treasure?
一个国家的垃圾不就是另一个国家的宝藏吗？
Now, a lot of US recycling goes straight to landfills.
现在美国把很多回收垃圾直接送到掩埋场。
The EPA says that only 10 percent of plastic has ever been recycled.
美国环保署说，只有10％的塑料被回收。
Not that this is about me, but this balloons my anxiety the size of the giant Pacific garbage patch way out in the ocean
这跟我没关系啦，可是我的焦虑膨胀到跟太平洋上的垃圾岛一样大，
where we'll all eventually go for our next destination wedding.
以后我们都要到那里参加度假婚礼了。
So, if you're American, hound your political representatives to work on this recycling issue, and try to create less waste overall by reusing materials.
所以如果你是美国人，请要求你的民意代表想办法处理这回收问题，而且自己要试着通过再利用来减少整体的浪费。
Here's stuff I've been reusing in my life: plastic bags, salsa jars and old fights with my boyfriend.
我一生中一直在重复使用这些东西：塑料袋、辣番茄酱瓶子、跟男朋友的旧帐。
Now, the next time I have to throw out the trash, I can confidently ask: Hey, can I reuse this loose ball of hair again?
下次要倒垃圾的时候，我可以自信地问：嘿，这球掉发还有用处吗？
And you know what? I probably can.
你知道吗？八成有用。
In fact, I'm going to give it to that old ghost lady as a going away present. Thank you.
其实，我要把它送给那个老女鬼作为临别礼物。谢谢。
