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Who's your celebrity crush?
你暗恋哪一个明星？
Whoever like me, and can make more money.
任何像我这样的人，而且还能赚更多的钱。
Who's your dream love scene partner? Michael B. Jordan.
你的梦中情人是谁？迈克尔·B·乔丹。
Michael B… I love that guy! Have a seat.
迈克尔·B……我爱死这个家伙了！坐吧。
This is right where you should sit.
这正是你应该坐的地方。
This is the best place, the best seat in the house.
位置优越，这是最好的座位。
It's a good view! Now, what's a role that you would love to take on?
视野真好！现在，你最想扮演的角色是什么？
Wonder Woman's sister. Okay, this one's out of left field,
神奇女侠的姐妹。好吧，那么这个问题会出乎你的意料之外的，
but your Instagram shows that you love gardening.
但你的Instagram上显示你喜欢园艺。
What you got growing these days? Well, I have vegetables in there,
你这几天种了什么？嗯，种植了蔬菜，
but I haven't been home for a while, so it's probably weeds.
但我有一阵子没回家了，所以可能已经杂草丛生了。
For anyone wanting to get into gardening, what's the best and most useful tip you can offer them?
对于任何想从事园艺的人来说，你能给他们的最好并且最有用的建议是什么？
Oh when you have leftover eggshells from making, like, scrambled eggs,
哦，当你有剩下的蛋壳时，比如炒鸡蛋，
take those eggshells, break them up, and put them in your dirt with the garden.
把那些蛋壳拿去打碎，然后把它们放在你花园里的泥土里。
And it should feed everything. Interesting.
它应该能养活所有的东西。有意思。
And what would you feed your friends if they came over for dinner?
如果你的朋友来吃饭，你会给他们吃什么？
Fried chicken, kale salad, and joyful greens.
炸鸡、羽衣甘蓝沙拉和美味的蔬菜。
Who would your three dream dinner party attendees be?
你最想邀请哪三个人来参加晚宴？
Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Jesus.
奥普拉·温弗瑞、米歇尔·奥巴马和耶稣。
And Taylor Swift made you dinner once. Is this true?
泰勒·斯威夫特给你做过一次晚餐。是真的吗？
That is true. What did she make?
是真的。她做了什么？
She made some brisket, some - it was beef, chicken which was delicious.
她做了一些胸肉，一些-牛肉，鸡肉，味道很好。
Some potato salad. Delicious. And some cornbread.
一些土豆沙拉。好吃。再来点玉米面包。
It was so good, and I brought the joyful greens.
太好吃了，我带来了美味的蔬菜。
Now, what's it like being a famous comedian?
现在，做一个著名的喜剧演员是什么感觉？
Interesting. You quit comedy for a moment in your late teens.
感觉有意思。你十几岁的时候就放弃了喜剧。
Why? Because I couldn't afford to get to the comedy club. I didn't have enough money for transportation.
为什么呢？因为我没钱去喜剧俱乐部。我没有足够的钱来付交通费。
In your book, you said jokes and laughter helped you survive. How so?
在你的书中，你说笑话和笑声帮助你挺过难关。怎么会呢？
They helped me to deal with the hard stuff, and find the funny in it, and laugh about it.
在我遇到困难的时候它们会帮助我，找到其中的乐趣，并嘲笑困难。
What's one thing people don't know about your career?
关于你的事业有什么是人们不知道的？
That it took me over 20 years to get here.
我花了20多年才到如今这个地步。
That's a long path. What does your family mean to you? Everything.
这条路很长。你的家人对你来说意味着什么？意味着全部。
Now let's do some word associations, okay? First one, Arsenio Hall.
现在让我们做一些单词联想，好吗？第一个，阿瑟尼奥·豪尔。
Best dude ever. Really kind guy. Gave me a chance. Bar Mitzvahs?
史上最好的男人。很善良的人。给了我一个机会。受诫礼？
Ooh, I love them because I made some money, and they're super fun.
噢，我喜欢它们因为我赚了点钱，而且超级有趣。
Roscoe? I miss him terribly. Kevin Hart? Big brother. Doc Martens?
罗斯科？我非常想念他。凯文·哈特？大哥哥。马滕斯博士？
Oh yeah, my first pair of shoes I ever bought, and I love them to death.
是啊，我买的第一双鞋，我爱死了。
Wore them til the soles fell off of them.
一直穿到鞋底脱落为止。
Now, I want you to imagine, you're mid-set,
现在，我想让你想象一下，你在舞台中间，
you're on a roll, and somebody starts heckling. How do you respond?
你忙得不可开交，有人开始质问你。你对此有何回应？
Oh, what I like to do. Let me show you how I deal with hecklers.
噢，我喜欢做的事。我来告诉你我是怎么对付质问者的。
I get on, and I tell them, I tell them straight up,
我开始，我告诉他们，我直接告诉他们，
"I don't come to your job and do that," and then I destroy their spirit.
“我不是来做你的工作的，”然后我就弄崩了他们的心态。
What was your first stand up gig like? It was pretty horrible.
你的第一次单口相声是怎样的？太可怕了。
It was a show that was with women that loved other women.
这是一个关于女人之间相爱的节目。
I did really bad, and they still paid me $50 for fifteen minutes,
我做得很糟糕，他们仍然付给我50美元，按15分钟算的价格，
and I said, "Well that's what I'm going to do for the rest of my life...
我说："这就是我下半辈子要做的事……
because I did horribly, and they still paid me.
因为我做得很糟糕，他们还付钱给我。
"Were you nervous? Oh yeah. I was very nervous.
"你紧张吗？噢，是的。我当时很紧张。
You want to see what it feels like to be very nervous? Get on the stage, get up here.
你想看看紧张是什么感觉吗？站到舞台上，站到这里来。
Yeah, alright! Let's do it! Okay. Come on up here and join me.
是啊，好吧！我们开始吧！好吧。上来吧，和我一起。
And imagine there's hundreds of people watching you.
想象台下有上百人在看着你。
That's a lot of people. And you have tickle their souls.
太多人了。你得把观众逗乐。
Okay, so I'm here on stage.
好吧，我在舞台上了。
The lights are on me. How do I hype up this crowd?
灯光聚焦在我身上。我该如何使这群观众感到兴奋呢？
Oh well, okay so what I like to do is,
好吧，好吧，我喜欢做的是，
I have some music playing and then I come on stage,
先播放一段音乐，然后我再上台，
and I dance a little bit like, "Hey." And I go,
轻声跳着好像在说，“嘿”。我说，
"She ready," and everybody's like, "Yeah," and then I go,
“她准备好了，”每个人都说，“是的，”然后我说，
"Is he ready? Are we ready?" And they're like, "Yeah, yeah,"
“他准备好了吗？” 准备好了吗？" 他们就像，“是的，是的，”
and I'm like, "Yeah, all right," and then I just start telling jokes.
我就像，“是的，好吧，”然后我就开始讲笑话。
Tiffany, when did you know that comedy was going to be a reality for you?
蒂凡尼，你什么时候知道喜剧会成为你的现实？
The first break I got was on Bill Bellamy's "Who's Got Jokes?"
我得到的第一个突破是比尔·贝拉米的《Who's Got Jokes》。
What was the main reason you chose to write your book, "The Last Black Unicorn?"
你选择写《The Last Black Unicorn》这本书的主要原因是什么？
Because I felt like all these experiences I have
因为我觉得所有这些经验
must be to share with the world so that they can know they're not alone.
我必须与外界分享，让他们知道他们并不孤单。
What did you feel when writing it? Every single emotion you could ever imagine.
你写的时候有什么感觉？你能想象到的每一种情感。
What's something you love being asked? All these questions you've been asking me.
你喜欢别人问你什么？你一直问我的这些问题。
Awh, well, honesty is your best quality, right? Yeah, well.
嗯，诚实是你最好的品质，对吧？是啊，呃.
If you could go on your own girls trip, like in the movie,
如果你可以自己去旅行，就像电影里那样，
where would you go? South Africa.
你会去哪里？南非。
Is there a Girl's Trip 2 in the works? Yeah, I hope so. We been talking about it.
《嗨翻姐妹行》第二部正在制作中吗？是啊，希望如此。我们一直在讨论这个。
What's one thing you've always wanted to do on stage? Tell jokes in lingerie.
你在舞台上一直想做的一件事是什么？穿着内衣讲笑话。
What's in your Netflix queue? Ah, The Unfortunate Series of Lemony Snicket's Events.
你的网飞列表里有什么？啊，《雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险》
I think that's what it's called?! I love the songs in there. And a bunch of cartoons.
我想这就是它的名字？！我喜欢里面的歌。还有一堆卡通片。
Good stuff. Hey Tiffany. Doors open up in five, okay? Oh okay.
好料。嘿，蒂凡尼。再过五分钟门就开了，好吗？哦，好吧。
We got to wrap this up because I got to, got to let everybody in, and I got to get ready.
我们得结束这个采访了，因为我得让所有人都进来，我得做好准备。
Okay, well this is perfect timing because I have one more question.
好吧，时机恰到好处，因为我还有一个问题。
How do you normally end your sets?
你通常是怎么结束你的布景的？
I normally curse the audience with all the joy and happiness they can handle.
我通常会用他们能接受的欢乐和幸福来诅咒观众。
Well Tiffany, this has been a pleasure having this interview with you.
蒂凡尼，采访你的过程中我感到很开心。
Thank you. You're welcome Thank you for oh! Oh damn.
谢谢你。不客气，谢谢你哦！哦该死的。
I didn't mean for that to happen like that.
我没想过会发生那样的事。
It's alright. And really I shouldn't have did that.
一切都很好。我真的不应该那么做。
I was trying to drop the mic, but the club owners, they don't like it
我本是想把麦克风放下的，但是俱乐部老板可不喜欢这样，
when you drop the mic because that mess they mic up, and then…
当你把麦克风掉在地上，会把他们的麦克风弄得一团糟，然后……
Okay it's still working. All right, bye. I was just trying to be cute for the camera.
好了，还能用。好的，再见。我只是想在镜头前表现得可爱点。
