评论
打印
Hey, thank you for joining us here at Psych2go. References are listed in the description below if you want to learn more.
感谢各位收看我们的节目。如果想了解更多，相关信息已列在下方。
Are there occasional disagreements within your family? Your sibling is driving you up the wall, and your parents are too harsh?
家人偶尔会意见不合吗？你的兄弟姐妹把你逼上了绝路，而你的父母对你太苛刻了？
If the answer is yes, no worries, you're probably still good. There is no perfectly peaceful family.
如果答案是肯定的，别担心，你应该还是没事的。也没有绝对和睦的家庭。
In the end, you can always count on them to be there for you and you feel safe and loved.
最后，你还是能够指望他们在你身边，让你感到安全和被爱。
A toxic family situation, however, is more persistent and constant.
但有毒家庭会更加持久。
Psychological damage from growing up in this dysfunctional environment breeds lasting stress,
在这种不正常的环境中长大所造成的心理伤害会
anxiety, conflict, and fear among the family members. Does this sound a little too close for comfort?
在家庭成员中产生持久的压力、焦虑、冲突和恐惧。
To find out more, here are seven telltale signs that you are indeed living in a toxic home environment.
想要了解更多，以下是表明你生活在有毒家庭环境中的七个迹象。
One: You feel invisible.
1. 觉得自己是隐形人。
Having your needs neglected by a family can be incredibly damaging to your mental health and self-esteem.
如果你的需求被家人忽视，你的心理健康和自尊会受到极大的伤害。
It's easy to feel invisible when your parents always act as if they're too busy for you.
当你的父母总是表现得好像他们忙的没空理你的时候，你很容易感到被忽视。
Or none of your siblings can make the time to hang out with you.
或者你的兄弟姐妹没有一个能抽出时间和你一起玩。
Nobody seems to care or notice how you're doing, what you're feeling, or what you have to say.
似乎没有在乎或注意到你怎么样、你的感觉或你的话。
Instead of communicating openly and honestly with one another like a healthy family, yours makes you feel isolated, alone and insignificant.
你的家人不会像一个健康的家庭那样开诚布公地交流，他们反而会让你感到孤立、孤独和微不足道。
Two: You feel pressured.
2. 感觉有压力。
Have you ever felt crushing guilt, worthlessness or even fear from not getting 100%?
你是否曾经因为没有做到100%而感到内疚，觉得自己一无是处甚至感到恐惧？
Did that piano recital only land you 3rd place instead of first, and now you wonder why you even bothered to try?
钢琴独奏排名第三而不是第一，然后你后悔自己为什么会来尝试？
Your family might be imposing conditions of worth on you, which is a toxic behavior.
你的家人可能把有代价的条件强加给你，这是一种有害的行为。
A famous psychotherapist, Carl Rogers, says the conditions of worth means that
著名精神治疗医师Carl Rogers说价值条件化意味着
you only feel loved and accepted by someone when you live up to their expectations of you. Parents are particularly guilty of this.
只有当你到达他们的期待时，你才能感到被爱和被接受。父母对此尤其感到内疚
While they may initially believe they're doing it for your own good,
虽然他们一开始可能认为这样做是为了你好，
they then escalate, setting unrealistically high standards for you with constant criticism for every perceived tiny mistake. This is toxic.
然后，他们会逐步升级，为你设定不切实际的高标准，对每一个察觉到的小错误不断地提出批评。
Three: You feel misunderstood and discarded.
3. 你感到被误解和被抛弃。
Maybe you've tried to talk to them, or give what you feel are obvious signs regarding what you're going through.
或许你尝试和他们交谈，或是透漏自己感受的明显迹象。
Yet, no one in your family seems to understand you or even care to.
但是没有一个家人理解你，甚至都不愿去关注。
Your feelings are dismissed and nothing you're going through is deemed important.
你的感受被忽略，你所经历的一切都被认为是不重要的。
Even though you're crying out for help, they're not supportive. Even though you're struggling, they remain unsympathetic and indifferent.
即便你哭着寻求帮助，他们也不会支持你。即便你痛苦的挣扎，他们依然冷漠无情。
Four: You feel like your worth depends on what you can give, not who you are.
4. 你觉得自己的价值取决于你能给予什么，而不是你的本身。
Are your family members only nice to you when they want something from you?
你的家人只是在他们需要你的时候才对你好吗？
Do you know that when they act caring, they're gonna ask for something afterwards?
你知道吗，当他们表现出关心的时候，他们会在事后提出要求。
Saying yes to these questions is a definite red flag courtesy of a toxic family.
对这些问题说“是”无疑是一个有毒家庭的危险信号。
Relatives who act this way will often manipulate you, exploiting you for their own gain.
这样做的亲戚经常会操纵你，为他们自己的利益而利用你。
You're nothing more to them than a means to an end. So they'll continually take without ever giving back.
对他们来说，你只不过是达到目的的一种手段。所以他们会不断地索取，从不回报。
Even worse, giving in to their demands creates a positive feedback loop, encouraging them to take advantage of you even more.
更糟糕的是，屈服于他们的要求会形成一个积极的反馈循环，鼓励他们更充分地利用你。
Five: You feel forced to be around them.
5. 你觉得自己被迫和他们待在一起。
Another sign of a toxic family is if you feel suffocated simply by being around them.
如果你和他们在一起而感到窒息，这是有毒家庭的另一个标志。
You come home and spend time with them only because you feel you have no choice.
你回家和他们在一起只是因为你觉得你别无选择。
If you try to make your own life easy, they'll make you feel guilty, even ashamed for abandoning them, painting you as the villain.
如果你试图让自己的生活变得轻松，他们会让你感到内疚，甚至为抛弃他们而感到羞耻，把你描绘成恶棍。
You feel so helplessly trapped in their vicious cycle of negativity that you may resort to lying, just so you can get a breather.
你会无助地陷入消极的恶性循环，你可能会撒谎，只是为了喘口气。
But getting that little break results in a significant feeling of relief.
但是稍微休息一下就会带来一种明显的放松感。
Six: They play power politics tests and you're the pawn.
6. 他们玩强权政治测试，你是棋子。
Power politics is defined as the struggle for power through deceitful and manipulative tactics.
强权政治的定义是通过欺骗和操纵手段来争夺权力。
This is common for divorced parents who use their children as leverage against their ex-spouse,
这在离异家庭中最常见，离异的父母用自己的孩子作为对抗前配偶的筹码，
or those in an unhappy marriage who constantly fight at home.
在那些经常家里吵架的不幸福婚姻中也很常见。
Although the toxic behavior isn't usually directed at the children,
虽然这种有毒的行为通常不是针对孩子，
it can still be emotionally traumatizing for them, as it creates a disruptive, chaotic and unstable growing up environment.
这对他们来说仍然是精神上的创伤，因为它创造了一个破坏性的、混乱的和不稳定的成长环境。
Seven: You feel constantly unhappy being around them.
7. 和他们在一起，你总是觉得不开心。
I know we have our occasional bad days, days when being around anyone even your family is difficult.
我们偶尔都有不开心的时候，这个时候不想和任何人，哪怕和家人在一起都很困难。
That's fine, that happens and it's not unhealthy. In a toxic familial situation, this feeling is fairly constant.
这没关系，这是正常的，也不是不健康的。在有毒的家庭环境中，这种感觉是相当持久的
In fact, you might say it's the norm with how you feel being around your family.
实际上，你可能会说这是你和家人相处的常态。
They drag you down into their overwhelming and persistent negativity.
他们会把你拖入势不可挡的消极情绪中。
They are constantly whining and moaning about the unfairness of life. Even when good things happen, they find a way to make it a bad thing.
他们总是抱怨生活的不公平。即便发生好的事情，他们也会找机会把好变成不好。
Since they can never let themselves be happy or content, you can't either.
既然他们不能让自己快乐或满足，那么你也不能。
If you're not just as unhappy, they may resent you for it. This toxicity can build over time,
如果你不像他们那样不快乐，他们可能会因此怨恨你。这种毒性会随着时间的推移而增加，
like layered rot until the point where the bad stuff is so unbearable, you have to leave for self-preservation.
就像分层腐烂，直到坏的东西难以忍受，你不得不离开以自我保护。
Living with a toxic family puts your mental health at constant risk.
生活在有毒的家庭中会使你的精神健康处于持续的危险之中。
Moving away from your family does not necessarily reverse the damaging effects.
离开你的家庭并不一定能扭转这种破坏性的影响。
You could be haunted for a long time with some psychological scars that might never heal without proper treatment.
如果没有适当的治疗，你可能会被一些心理上的伤疤折磨很长一段时间。
So, if you are struggling to cut these people out of your life and create healthy boundaries for yourself, this is not wrong.
如果你正努力把这些人从你的生活中剔除，为自己创造健康的界限，这并没有错。
In fact, this is healthy. You don't have to suffer in silence, and you're not alone.
事实上这是健康的。你不必默默忍受，你并不孤单。
Reach out to a mental health care professional, or social worker to get the help you need to protect yourself from any future emotional damage.
向心理健康护理专家或社会工作者寻求帮助，保护自己免受未来任何情感上伤害。
The first step to recovery is simply recognizing the signs. Do any of these signs resonate with you?
恢复的第一步就是简单地认识到这些迹象。这些迹象与你有共鸣吗？
Do you know someone who may be in or was in one of these situations?
你知道谁可能处于或曾经处于这些情况吗？
We hope we've helped you understand the world around you a little better.
我们希望我们已经帮助你更好地了解你周围的世界。
Please like, share and subscribe and let us know what you'd like to see next. Thanks for watching.
请点赞、分享并订阅我们频道，让我们知道你们下一期想看什么。感谢收看。
