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All right, who wants to meet Santa Claus? Me! Me! All right. Right this...
好吧，谁想见圣诞老人？我！我！好吧，在这里...
Move, move, move out of the way. I want to meet Santa. Look at you guys. Thank you.
过一下，过一下，走开，我想见圣诞老人，看看你们这些人，谢谢。
Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Very small. Sad. Here, hold my Mango-A-Go-Go. Take my pretzel.
看看你们，看看你们这些人，非常小，太悲伤了，来吧，拿着我的芒果沙冰，拿着我的椒盐卷饼。
Santa, hello. Is that you, Mr. President? Of course it is. Look, I don't have much time.
圣诞老人你好，哦，是你啊，总统先生？当然是我，看看，我没有很多时间。
I ditched Eric and Don Jr. at the Disney Store. Won't be long until they realize the Thor beanbag chair I left them on isn't their real dad.
我在迪士尼商店抛弃了埃里克和小唐，不久他们就会发现我留给他们的托尔沙袋沙发不是他们的真爸爸。
So you came to the mall just to see Santa? That's right. Tomorrow's the big impeachment vote.
所以你来这里就是为了看圣诞老人？没错，明天是弹劾投票的日子。
And people are saying that all I can do is pray. But why pray when I can come straight to you, Jesus' dad?
人们都在说我能做的只有祈祷，但我都到你跟前了还祈祷什么，你是耶稣的爹吗？
Oh, I'm not...I'm not. No. Besides, I love malls, I really do. The sights, the sounds, the Szechuan samples.
哦，我不是，不是，除此之外，我喜欢商店，我真的喜欢，这个景色，这个声音，还有四川辣酱样品。
But even here, I can't escape the Democrats. They're very mean, Santa. They're very mean. They're very nasty. Mm.
但甚至在这里，我都逃不过民主党人，他们很坏，圣诞老人，他们非常的坏，很招人讨厌，嗯嗯。
They're very nasty. They're very nasty people. Nasty, yes. They do nasty things.
他们很可恶，他们是可恶的人，很可恶，没错，他们做糟糕的事情。
They want to impeach me just like Clinton and Nixon and Prancer and Vixen.
他们想弹劾我，就像克林顿，尼克松，欢腾鹿和悍妇鹿。
But that would be very humiliating, and the only person who can humiliate me is me. Well, that is not true.
但这是很丢人的事情，因为能够让我丢人的人只有我自己，好吧，这不是真的。
Thank you, Santa. Thank you. Lucky for me, there's one thing I believe in, and that's the Christmas spirit.
谢谢圣诞老人，谢谢，我真的很幸运，我有一件事情是相信的，那就是圣诞精神。
So if this whole thing goes kablooey, I have a few Christmas wishes I want to make. Here, I wrote them down.
如果整个事情出了问题，那我还有几个圣诞愿望，我想写下来。
Oh... Now don't worry, I'm not going to ask for dirt on Biden. I learned my lesson.
哦，不要担心，我不会让你帮我去找拜登的丑闻的，我得到了教训。
You can't... You can't ask a foreign leader for help, and you, of course, are the president of Alaska.
你不能，你不能寻求一个外国领导人的帮助，当然，因为你是阿拉斯加的总统。
Uh, incorrect, incorrect. So my first wish... and we all knew this was coming...we have to do something about Nancy Pelosi.
不对，不对，所以我的第一个愿望是...我们都知道事情即将到来，对于佩洛西，我们需要采取行动。
I mean, she's being a real Omarosa Scrooge. And...I'm not asking you to do anything to Nancy, but you ever heard the song,
我的意思是，她真的是吝啬鬼欧玛罗莎，我不是让你对佩洛西做什么，但你没听过一首歌吗，
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer? Just think about it. Just think about it.
奶奶被驯鹿撞死了吗？想想吧，想一想。
Doesn't have to be a reindeer, but... Could be a golf cart.
无需成为一头麋鹿，但可以成为一辆高尔夫小车。
I'm not micromanaging. Oh, boy. Okay... So that was my first wish. And I get three, right?
我不是什么事都管，老天，好吧，这是我的第一个愿望，我有三个对吗？
Are we playing by Aladdin rules? No, not exactly. But you can ask for gifts for your friends.
我们是按照阿拉丁的规则吗？不是，但你可以为你的朋友要礼物。
Great. Any tips on what to get a Russian dictator who has everything?
好吧，有没有建议，我要送一位俄罗斯独裁者，他什么都不缺。
I'm pretty sure he's buying me another election, so I want to get him something good. Well...
我很确定他给我买了另外一场选举，所以我希望拿好东西报道他，好吧。
Oh, I have this one friend, let's call him Rudy the Brown-Nosed Reindeer.
我有一个朋友，让我们叫他卢迪·谄媚的麋鹿如何。
He's trying to save himself from going to...let's call it prison.
他试图拯救我前往...让我们把那里叫监狱。
So your Christmas wish is that he ends up okay. How nice. No, no, I'll just get him a Peloton.
所以你的圣诞愿望是他结局不错，太棒了，不不，我给他买了一个健身器材。
Oh, look. If I'm being honest, Santa, this impeachment thing is really scaring me...like Melania's Christmas decorations. Or stairs.
看看，如果我说的是对的，圣诞老人，弹劾真的吓到我了，就像梅拉尼娅的圣诞装饰，或者是楼梯。
I just hope it all works out in the end. Well, Donald, if you do get impeached,
我只是希望一切都很好，好吧，小特，如果你真的被弹劾了，
it's still up to the Senate to remove you, you know. It is? And that will never happen.
还需要由参议院来决定你的去留，真的吗？这是不可能的。
Because the Senate is run by my elves, the Republicans. And that is the greatest gift of all. Thank you, Santa.
因为参议院是由精灵统治的，共和党人，这是最棒的礼物哦，谢谢，圣诞老人。
My Christmas wish came true. And oh, yeah, The Tonight Show starts right now.
我的圣诞愿望将实现，哦耶，今夜秀现在开始。
Come on. Let's do this! Whoo!
来啦，开始吧，哦哦哦。
From 30 Rockefeller Plaza right here in New York City, it's The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
这是纽约的30号洛克菲勒广场，今夜秀主持人吉米·肥伦。
And now, here he is, Jimmy Fallon! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
好吧，他来了，吉米，嗨嗨嗨，嗨嗨嗨，嗨嗨嗨，嗨嗨嗨。
Give it up! Ah! The Roots! Nice to see you! Hi! Hey...
掌声送给资金乐队，见到你真好，嗨嗨。
