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I’m certain my wife would not agree that I have good listening skills.
我妻子肯定不觉得我有良好的倾听技能
It’s human nature: you get preoccupied with your own thoughts,
人类的本性就是：我们总会沉浸在自己的思想中
and when I’m busy thinking about something I don’t hear very well,
当我忙着思考某件事的时候 就没办法认真听别人讲话
because my brain is sort of already engaged
因为我的大脑早就被占据了
and I don’t necessarily turn noise into a cogent-enough thought that it gets in
我无法把噪音转换成能够进入我大脑中且足够有说服力的思想
and I actually acknowledge what somebody is saying—
也没办法去想别人在说什么——
so I’m just as guilty as anyone of not being a good listener.
所以我和大家一样 为自己不是个很好的倾听者而感到愧疚
I think in order to overcome that you have to deliberately listen,
为了克服这一点 我们必须要刻意去倾听
and not just to the words, not just the text, but what was the reason behind the text?
不仅是听别人说的话和事 更要听这件事背后的原因是什么？
What do those words mean culturally?
这些话在文化上有什么含义？
How did the person say them and why?
这个人是怎么说的 为什么？
Why did they say them now?
他们为什么要现在说？
What’s the sense of urgency?
有什么着急的？
What is the actual message they’re trying to get across?
他们真正想传达的意思是什么？
And so, of course, the best way to verify all that is to engage in discussion.
当然了 得到这些信息的最佳方式就是参与到对话中去
Repeat back what you think you heard.
重复你觉得你听到的话
A really clinical example is where Mission Control is calling up something important to the spaceship
一个很典型的例子就是地面指挥中心因为一些重要的事情呼叫宇宙飞船的时候
and we know that communication is lousy—
我们知道这种对话很烦人——
there’s little tiny speakers and it’s radios and it’s clipped and it’s digitized,
就只有一个小小的麦克风 还是靠无线电传播的 是数字化的
and so we can’t just count on everybody immediately understanding and having good listening skills.
所以我们不能指望所有人立马就能理解并掌握良好的倾听技能
So we have like, “Houston, station.” “Station, Houston, I’m listening.”
所以我们的对话就是“呼叫休斯顿指挥中心 空间站” “空间站 这里是休斯顿指挥中心 正在接听中”
“Okay Houston what I wanted to talk to you about was—whatever—
“好 休斯顿 我想说一下——不管什么事——
the carbon dioxide removal equipment, and there’s a problem with the CDRA today
比如说二氧化碳过滤装置 今天二氧化碳过滤装置出了点问题
and I’m in the checklist on page 221 part B, let me know when you’re there.”
我正在查看检查清单第221页B部分 翻到那一页的时候请告诉我”
“Okay. All right. I’m open to that page now. Go ahead.”
“好 好的 我翻到那一页了 请继续”
So think about how that communication is happening.
想想这种对话方式
You’ve gotten their attention, they’ve told you “okay you have my attention”
先引起他们的注意 他们告诉你“好 我正在听你说”
and “now this is the thing I’m talking about are you on the same page as me?”
然后是“我想说的是这件事 你跟上我的思路了吗？”
“Yes. I am on the same page as you.” “Okay.
“嗯 我听着呢” “好
Now that both of us are on the same page now let’s actually discuss why we’re trying to accomplish this thing.
我们的想法已经同步了 那就该讨论一下我们为什么要做这件事了
What are the details? What do we need to know?
有哪些细节？我们需要知道什么？
What do you know that I don’t know?”
你有哪些我不知道的信息？”
And then come to a mutual conclusion of “Okay this is what I’m going to do.”
然后再达成同一个结论 “好 这就是我想做的事”
“Yep I agree that’s what you’re going to do.”
“嗯 那确实是你想做的事”
It’s so incredibly formalized: we’re talking with the ground,
这种方式非常有效：我们是在跟地面指挥中心对话
but it’s a microcosm of a regular conversation between any two people,
但这就是两个人之间日常对话的缩影
we just maybe aren’t quite as rigorous about it.
只不过我们不会那么严格而已
But I think you should keep that in mind, if you’re trying to be a good listener,
但我觉得你应该记住这一点 如果你想成为一个良好的倾听者
picture how the ground listens to a spaceship and try and be that person.
那就想象一下地面指挥中心是如何听宇宙飞船讲话的 然后成为那样的人
Truly give them your attention.
全神贯注地听他们说话
Try and get on the same page.
努力跟上他们的思维
Question, have a conversation.
提问 进行对话
Make sure you understand the intent.
一定要理解对方的意图
Repeat it back.
重复一遍
And then get your actions verified after you do them.
然后还要核实自己的行动
And if you can manage to do all those things, even quickly,
如果你能做到所有这些事 甚至是快速做到
then I think you have the best chance of being a good communicator—
那我觉得你有很大可能会成为一名优秀的沟通者——
and more importantly, a good listener.
更重要的是 优秀的倾听者
