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I was running a bit behind today, so I thought if you guys wouldn't mind,
今天有点晚了，如果大家不介意，
I'd just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that cool with you?
我们就开始本周的感谢信环节，如何？
Thank you. You guys are the best. Hey, James, can I get some thank-you note writing music, please?
谢谢，你们最好了，詹姆斯，给我来点感谢信音乐吧？
Wow. Wow. Looks like he shelved his elf. Yeah.
哦哦，他看似把他的小精灵放在了架子上，没错。
Thank you, Christmas trees, for bringing my family joy, holiday spirit,
谢谢圣诞树，你带给了我们家庭欢乐，节日气氛，
and 10,000 tiny needles that I'll be finding in my carpet until August.
还有一万个藏在毯子里面的小针头，我直到八月份才全部找到。
Thank you, peanut brittle, for combining two of my favorite snacks, PayDay candy bars and shards of glass.
谢谢花生酱，你把两个我最爱吃的点心合二为一，一个是收获日糖果棒，一个是玻璃碎片。
Ching. Thank you, Home Alone for being the only time I'm like,
叮叮，谢谢《小鬼当家》电影，我唯一一次感受到
Hey, kids, want to gather around and watch a home invasion?
你好孩子，想一块观赏个入室抢劫吗？
Thank you, winter scarves, for combining the warmth of a sweater with the fashion-forward look of a neck brace.
谢谢冬季围脖，你有毛衣的温度，还有时尚前卫的颈托。
Thank you, Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You for proving that despite our differences,
谢谢，玛丽亚·凯莉的歌曲《圣诞节我想要的只有你》，这首歌证明尽管我们有不同，
nothing brings people together like drunkenly trying to hit that high note at the end.
没有什么能够让我们聚在一起，除了一起醉醺醺的，唱到歌曲最后的高音。
Oh, baby. You-u-u-u-ah. Will always love. That's... It's a mash-up, dude.
哦孩子，你.....永远相爱，混合歌曲，对吧。
Thank you, blanket I drape on my couch. You keep me so cozy and warm I barely even notice
谢谢悬挂在沙发上的毯子，你让我感到舒适和温暖，但我却从未意识到
I haven't washed you since 2004. When did I have yogurt?
我自从2014年就没有洗过你，什么时候撒的酸奶？
Thank you, cut-your-own-Christmas-tree lots, for being the only time I can take my family into the woods with a chain saw
谢谢自己砍伐圣诞树场地，这也是唯一一次我能带着家人，戴着链锯进入森林的机会，
and not end up on Dateline. There you have it, everybody. Those are my thank-you notes.
而不是只说不做，这就是今晚的感谢信环节。
