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Guys, the weekend is here. Uh...
朋友们，快到周末了。
But President Trump is already gearing up for next week.
小特已为下周准备好了。
He's set to speak at the United Nations in front of 140 world leaders.
他将在联合国，面对140国领导人发表讲话。
It'll be awkward when he blurts out, This is like the real-life version of 'It's a Small World.'
华语一出，引来阵阵尴尬，这好比是《小小世界》现实版。
You're wearing wooden shoes.
你穿着木质鞋。
Get this. It came out that Trump told a European politician to build a wall across Africa to keep out immigrants.
来听听这个，听说小特告诉欧洲政界人士，说要在非洲建墙抵挡移民。
He wants a wall here. He wants a wall there. When Trump visits China, he'll be like,
他这希望建墙，那希望建墙，当小特造访中国时，他说
Finally, someone listened to me. Finally. This is what I'm talking about.
终于有人听我的话了，这就是我说的意思。
Did you hear about this? A pair of candlesticks that Trump once owned are being sold for 6,000 dollars.
听说了吗？小特之前的一对烛台正在售卖当中，价格为六千美金。
Trump decided to get rid of them when they didn't talk like the ones in Beauty and the Beast.
小特决定废弃它们，因为它们不能像《美女与野兽》里面的烛台一样讲话。
He's like, At least do a dance. Do something.
小特说，至少来段舞蹈吧，做点什么。
I read that the FDA is launching a new campaign against teen vaping.
听说药监局发起反对青少年吸电子烟运动。
Cause we all know if there's one way to get kids to stop smoking,
因为我们知道，如果只有一种办法让孩子别再抽烟，
it's hearing from all those cool cats at the Food and Drug Administration.
那一定是听从药监局，这些冷静的人是怎么说的。
Guys, of course, tomorrow is September 22nd, the first day of fall, and I....Hold on, hold on, hold on.
明天是9月22日，秋天的第一天，等一下等一下。
So, so, Jimmy, you're saying that makes today the 21st of September?
吉米，你说今天是9月21日？
Uh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Nice. Yeah, nice. Wait, I'm...
没错，没错，等一下。
I'm sorry. What's so cool about September 21st?
对不起，9月21日怎么了？
Well, Jimmy, uh, do you remember the 21st night of September?
吉米，你不记得9月21日的晚上？
I don't...I....I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，不知道。
Was that, like, the third anniversary of Pizza Rat or something? I have no idea.
是不是“披萨老鼠”三周年纪念或是什么？我不知道。
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Love was changing the minds of pretenders,
不是不是，爱改变了假装者的心，
while chasing the clouds away. Yes. That's right. Our...
赶走乌云，没错。
Our hearts were ringing. Yeah. In the key that our souls were singing.
我们的心在欢呼，我们的灵魂在歌唱。
Yeah. As we danced in the night. Yeah. Remember? The star stole...The night away
我们在晚上跳舞，记起来了吗？星星偷走了，赶走午夜。
Ba de ya Say do you remember. Bay de ya Dancing in September.
巴迪亚，说你记起来了。巴迪亚，在9月里跳舞。
Ba de ya. Never was a cloudy day. Ba duda, ba duda. Ba duda, badu.
巴迪亚，从未有过乌云。巴杜巴，巴杜巴，巴杜达，八度。
Anyway, fall's almost here.
无论如何，秋天将至。
And listen to this. I read that more New Yorkers are biking to work.
听听这个，听说更多纽约人选择骑车上班。
Which is good news for the environment,
这对环境很好，
but bad news for their co-workers who have to hear them brag about it.
但坏消息是，同时需要听他们的抱怨。
And, finally, check this out. A man in Florida is in the news because he likes to do his gardening naked.
最后，佛州一男子上了新闻，因为他喜欢裸体打理花园。
His neighbors aren't too happy about it. Listen to what one of them had to say.
他的邻居不太高兴，来听听她是咋说的。
I came out...what was it....Sunday night.
我出来，应该是周日晚上。
Put the trash out. I look over, and he's bent over winding up his hose.
我出来倒垃圾，我一看，他正弯下腰卷他的软管。
Then the guy was like I don't own a hose. You guys, we have a great show. Give it up for The Roots!
男子说我没有软管，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金乐队。
