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Let's get to some news. Well, last night, President Trump returned to the White House after his 11-day vacation.
来看看新闻，昨晚小特总统回到白宫，结束11天假期。
Trump's excited. He says it's nice to get home and tweet in his own bed again. And...
小特很兴奋，他说很高兴能够回家，然后再次躺在床上发推特。
The big story, The big story is that Omarosa's new book Unhinged came out today.
大新闻，奥玛罗萨的新书《精神错乱》今天出版。
And this is cool, Omarosa even had the whole White House staff record the audiobook.
很棒，奥玛罗萨甚至让所有白宫员工记录这本有声读物。
They just didn't know it. Oh. Yeah. That's right. Omarosa's new book is out today.
他们就是不知道而已，哈哈，没错，奥玛罗萨的新书今天出版。
You can find it at most bookstores in the section marked I Can't Believe This is U.S. History.
你可以在“我不相信这是美国历史”一栏的书店找到这本书。
I saw that, in the book, Omarosa claims that Trump refers to Education Secretary Betsy DeVos
我听说在这本书中，奥玛罗萨称小特把教育部长贝特西·德沃斯
as Ditzy DeVos. When Betsy heard, she was like, Wait. Have I been saying it wrong this whole time?
称之为迷糊的德沃斯，当贝特西听到后，说等一下，我一直说的都是错的吗？
No, your, No, your name is Betsy. I know.
不是不是，你的名字是贝特西，我知道。
And Omarosa also claims that Melania can't wait for Trump to leave office so that she can divorce him.
奥玛罗萨还称梅拉尼娅等不及要让小特离开白宫，这样她就可以离婚了。
In response, Melania said, That's outrageous. I told her that in confidence.
梅拉尼娅回应道，太气愤了，我小声跟她讲的。
Did you see this? Earlier this morning, Trump tweeted about Omarosa again,
你们看了吗？今天早间，小特再次针对奥玛罗萨发推特，
writing Good work by General Kelly for quickly firing that dog!
写道幕僚长凯利做的很好，马上解雇那只狗。
Yeah, Trump called Omarosa a dog. Then he rolled over for Putin, barked at his staff, and ate a bunch of paper.
没错，小特称奥玛罗萨为狗，之后他转过身向着普京说话，训斥他的员工，然后吃了一大把纸。
And you go, Oh, that's...that's weird.
这也太奇怪了。
Actually, everyone in the White House feels like a dog, cause one year with Trump feels like seven.
其实，白宫所有人都感觉像只狗，因为与小特共处一年像七年。
And this is kind of crazy, during a fund-raising speech last night,
这个很疯狂，在昨晚的筹款演说中，
Trump talked about how he wants to get rid of windmills. Huh? What?
小特谈论他想废弃风车的想法，什么？
Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Take a look at this. You can blow up the windmills, you know, the windmills. Bom, bom, bom.
很有趣来看看，你可以把风车炸了，你知道的风车，邦邦邦。
Bing, that's the end of that windmill. Apparently, Trump has no idea what windmills or guns sound like.
乒，这是风车的最后结局，显然小特不清楚风车或枪到底发什么声音。
So he's like, Wah, waah, waah. Bing, bing, bang, bing, bing. Waah, waaah. Okay.
所以他才会说，哇哇哇，平平平，哇哇哇，好吧。
Listen to this, guys. I read that a few companies are trying to create electric planes that run on batteries,
来听听这个，朋友们，听说有几家公司试图制造电动飞机，
which means soon you'll hear a pilot say, I'm sorry for the delay. We just got to change 800,000 double-A batteries.
你将很快听到飞行员说，我对延误感到抱歉，我们要更换80万个双A电池。
Shouldn't be that long. Oh, I saw that USA Today just published a guide to help older people understand teenage slang.
不应该这么长，听说今日美国刚刚出版了一个手册，帮助老年人理解青少年的俚语。
Meanwhile, BuzzFeed made a guide to help teenagers understand what USA Today is.
与此同时，BuzzFeed网站也推出了手册，帮助青少年了解什么是今日美国。
This is going viral, the other night on the show 100,000 dollars Pyramid,
这个很火爆，那天晚上在《10万美金金字塔》节目上，
our pal Tim Meadows was a contestant. And at one point, his partner was given, Did you see this? Yeah, man.
我们的朋友蒂姆·麦多斯是我们的嘉宾，一次他的竞争对手收到了一个，你看了吗？好吧。
At one part, At one point, his partner was given the clue People whose last name is Obama.
一次，他的竞争对手接收的信息是，谁的姓氏是奥巴马。
Let's see how that went. Evan and Tim for $50,000. Here's your first subject. Go.
来看看吧，伊万和蒂姆为5万美金争夺，来看看吧，开始。
Bin Laden. Ai! Oy! Trump was watching it at home like, Nailed it.
本·拉登，哈哈，小特在家看电视时说，搞定了。
He got it. That's it. That's, I know who that is. Poor Tim.
他晓得了，我知道这是谁，可怜的蒂姆。
And finally, I read about a new bright-blue-colored wine that's being served in France.
最后，听说法国推出了一款亮蓝颜色红酒。
They even have a name for it, it's Chateau de Windex.
他们给它取的名字是“吸尘器酒庄”。
You guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots.
今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
