How is the family? Are the kids excited for Christmas? Alive. Alive and well. Yes. We're doing our jobs.
家人怎么样? 孩子们对圣诞感兴趣吗? 他们真的是兴高采烈,我们做了我们能做的。
Yes. you're doing your jobs. Yeah. Are they psyched? Yeah, I think so. I mean, Daisy's 1.
没错,你做了你应该做的,他们感到兴奋吗? 我想应该是,黛西今年1岁。
So she's psyched about food and most things. Anything, yeah, yeah. She's a baby. Yeah, yeah.
她对食物和许多事情都特别感兴趣,没错,所有事情,她还是个婴儿,没错。
But, Otis is 3 and a half, and he understands that gifts are exchanged, that he is going to be getting a bunch of new toys.
但欧迪斯今年三岁半了,他知道礼物要相互交换,我们给他准备了许多玩具。
We're filling up a box tomorrow of all the toys that need to go elsewhere, give them to some other kids to make room for some stuff. Yeah.
我们明天要在盒子里装满玩具,分发给一些小朋友,腾出更多的空间,没错。
But I don't think he,but he's at an age where he knows Santa is a thing,
但我不认为他,他知道圣诞老人是一个东西,
but we can't use him as like the great disciplinarian that Santa is for most households. Yeah, not yet.
但他不知道圣诞老人是为许多家庭分发礼物的,这个还不知道。
No, he thinks Santa, like, I buy the toys and Santa just, he just thinks Santa is like a FedEx guy.
他认为圣诞老人就是,我买了这些玩具,他就认为圣诞老人是“FedEx”快递员。
Delivering presents. Delivering presents, like, so you order them through Santa?
分发礼物的,分发礼物没错,他认为你们通过圣诞老人订礼物?
Yeah, exactly. Or he thinks Jeff Bezos is Santa, and then Santa's like an elf, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.
没错,或者他认为杰夫·贝佐斯就是圣诞老人,圣诞老人是一个精灵,没错,我明白。
So it's like, you know hey, if you do that, you know, if you push your sister, Santa's not gonna bring you what you want.
然后我们对他说,如果你再推你的妹妹,圣诞老人就不给你发礼物了。
He's just like... Yeah. So we won't overnight it, big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, right.
但他给我这个表情,礼物不会隔夜,没错没错,太对了。
Yeah, Priority Overnight isn't a thing, Dad?
隔夜优先快递不是事儿,是不是爸爸?
Oh, man. How'd you learn that? Has he met Santa? Have you ever, no, he hasn't met Santa yet.
老天,他是怎么知道的? 他见过圣诞老人了吗? 没有,他还没见过。
I think that's part of the problem. We haven't introduced him to the mythology yet.
我觉得这是个问题,我们还没有给他讲这个传说。
Yeah, you have to. You know, he knows the Grinch. He knows the Joker from Batman in the 60s.
你应该跟他说了,他知道圣诞怪杰,知道60年代《蝙蝠侠》里的小丑。
You know, he knows those iconic...Important. Important things, yeah. We're...
他知道那些特别经典的,非常重要的,没错。
Every kid's gotta know the Joker. You know, and Jesus. Yeah. It's all very nice.
所有孩子都应该知道小丑,还有耶稣,都应该知道。
Of course, of course. All the biggies. In that order. Those are the three. But then we... That's the Holy Trinity in our house you know.
没错没错,所有的这些大人物,三个大人物,这是我们家的三件套。
Oh. Many, they agree. They agree, they agree. And how's the beautiful baby? How's Daisy? She's good.
哦,他们同意,他们同意,你那个小公主怎么样? 黛西怎么样? 她非常好。
She's cute as pie. And she's in her, visually, adorable. Audibly, she's a shrieker. She shrieks.
非常可爱,看上去非常美丽的小公主,但你要听她的声音,她老是尖声尖叫。
She shrieks incessantly. In a good mood, bad mood. She realizes that people look at her when she shrieks,
而且是不停地叫,不管是心情好还是不好,当她发现人们看着她时,她就要尖叫,
so now the shrieking is like part of her DNA, unfortunately. So, she's like yelling or...
尖叫有可能是她的一部分,太不幸了,她是放声尖叫还是?
Oh no, it's like a shriek. I'm talking about like...I mean, I can't do it, cause I'm a grown man,
不是,就是那种叫,我不能模仿,因为我是大人,
but like, if....I'd have to do it on the inhale. It'd be like...Really?
但就像那样,像是一种呼吸时的尖叫,就像这样...真的?
Do you remember the sound Daryl Hannah made in Splash? When she says her name. Anybody here over 30? We...the...
你记得达丽尔·汉纳在《现代美人鱼》里的尖叫吗? 当她说她自己的名字时,现场有30岁以上的吗?
Tom Hanks used to do comedies. Oh, my gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah. I mean, it's awful.
汤姆·汉克斯之前是做喜剧的,老天,没错,太不正常了。
We were on a plane recently. We went on vacation. We went to Hawaii, which is a lovely place, and then on the plane ride home,
我们最近乘坐飞机的次数比较多,我们这几天出去度假了,去了夏威夷,那是个不错的地方,我记得当时是坐飞机回家。
Liv and the baby were two rows away from me. Then there was a random duo, a couple older ladies and then Otis and I a row ahead.
丽芙和孩子坐在一起,我距离她们有两排的距离,中间还有几名乘客,有两个老妇,前面就是我和欧迪斯。
And I could hear the shrieking starting, and I knew it was gonna keep going until she...
然后我听见了她的尖叫,我知道她又停不下来了,
everybody died or something. I don't know. Yeah. She's very persistent.
我不知道,她是一直在叫嚷。
And then,so, but the women behind me didn't know that I was with the people behind them.
我旁边的女士不知道我和她们是一起的。
So they're whispering and just covering their ears being like, oh, my God! Oh, my God!
有人小声嘀咕,有人堵住了耳朵,叫到老天啊,老天。
And then one of them just looks over to the other one, just put something in her mouth!
还有人看了一眼,说给她嘴里放个东西进去!
And I'm like,I turn over. And like, sort of look. And again and then I got up and just sort of walked over and kissed my baby so they know,
然后我转了过去,看了一眼,我起身走过去,亲了亲我的孩子,然后他们知道怎么回事了,
oh, yeah. Quit talking trash. Yeah, exactly. I can hear you. Stick up for the baby, yeah.
没错,不要再说闲话了,没错,我能听见你们在说什么,捍卫孩子们。
But I mean, literally people's tans were falling off, it was so loud. Their leis were wilting. Man.
但不夸张的说,黄褐色的脸开始变白,真的,声音太吵了,花冠都开始枯萎了。
It was like, you know, like a time lapse. But you know... Hawaiian leis. Oh, it was horrible. It was horrible.
就像时间慢了下来,你知道那种感觉,夏威夷的花冠,太可怕,太可怕了。
The vacation was null and void by the time we landed.
这次旅行真的不是在游山玩水,实在太可怕了。