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So imagine you're looking for a place to rent for about a $1000.
假如你正在找租金1000美元的住处。
And you find a house that you really like, and I'm the landlord,
你发现了一个自己非常喜欢的房子，我是房东，
and I'm going to rent it to you for a $1000 but I tell you, "Hey, in a year, I might have to increase it to $1100."
我打算以1000美金租给你，但我告诉你，“嘿，一年以后，租金可能会涨到1100美金。”
And you think about it, and you say, "Okay, cool. This is a good deal."
你考虑了一下，然后说，“好的。这是笔不错的交易。”
Now let's say a year passes by and I call you and say, "Hey, I'm going to increase your rent to $1100."
现在，比如一年过后，我打电话告诉你，“我要把房租涨到1100美金。”
When you hear that, it's probably not going to affect you that much.
你听到后，大概对你影响不大。
but let me give you another example... In this example, everything is exactly the same.
但让我给你举另一个例子…在这个例子里，所有情况都完全相同。
The house, your financial condition, everything.
房子，你的经济状况，一切东西。
You move in but I don't tell you that I might increase the rent.
你搬进去了，但我没有告诉你房租可能会涨。
So a year goes by, and I call you out of nowhere and say, "Hey, you'll have to pay me $1100 starting next month."
所以一年过去了，我突然打电话告诉你，“嘿，从下个月开始你要付1100美元的房租。”
So the first example might not necessarily make you the happiest person but whatever, it's not that big of a deal.
第一个例子可能不会让你成为最高兴的人，但那又如何，没什么大不了的。
But in the second example, as soon as you hang up,
但在第二个例子中，一旦你挂了电话，
you're going to start yelling not so nice things about me. You're going to be pissed off and angry.
就会开始说我的坏话。你很愤怒很生气。
And you're going to think, how could I do this to you?! Now here's the thing...
你就想，我怎么能这么对你呢？其实是这样的…
You're going to go through that suffering and stress just because you don't have the right expectations about life.
你会遭受那样的苦难和压力是因为你对生活没有正确的预期。
So let me ask you this,
那么我来问问你，
and let's assume that it's completely legal for the landlord to increase the rent if he decides to.
让我们假设，如果房东决定涨房租是完全合法的。
"Is it reasonable to expect that if a person can make more money, he is going to attempt to do so?"
如果一个人有能力挣到更多钱，那他就会这么做，这样想有道理吗？
And to that, my answer would be, absolutely. That is a good, reasonable expectation to have.
对于那个问题，我的答案是，绝对的。那是一个很好且合理的预期。
So if you had that expectation, and that expectation again is a very realistic expectation to have,
所以如果你有那种很现实的预期，
you wouldn't be so phased by the whole thing.
那么你就不会被这种事影响到。
Nothing surprising happened here. So the first big idea is:
没什么大惊小怪的。所以第一个重要的观点是：
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it;
如果你因外界因素而痛苦，这种感觉不是源于事情本身，而是源于你对它的判断。
and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
你任何时候都可以收回这种判断。
And the same thing can be applied to everything including tougher things like death
同样的事情也适用于包括死亡、
and being stabbed in the back by one of your closest friends.
被最亲密的朋友从背后捅刀子在内的一切。
I remember the first few times I got stabbed in the back by a close friend,
我记得最初几次被朋友背叛的时候，
and it sent me into this anger and depression for weeks.
我在愤怒和绝望中度过了数周。
And I remember the last time it happened about a year ago,
还记得上一次是发生在一年之前，
and I found out about it, and I was just completely unphased by it.
我发现了，却完全没受影响。
And this might seem a little bit pessimistic and it is.
这看起来好像好点悲观，但就是这样。
There are bad things that happen in life. That's just the reality.
生活中总会发生不好的事情。那只是现实罢了。
Now, just like with any other philosophy, I would recommend finding a good balance with this...
现在，就像对待其他哲学那样，我建议要平衡好…
So for me, when I hang out with a friend,
所以对我来说，当我和朋友出去闲逛的时候，
I'm not constantly paranoid about how I'm going to get stabbed in the back or whatever.
我不会总是幻想我的朋友会怎么中伤我之类的。
I enjoy the moment. But if or when it does happen, it's nothing surprising.
我很享受那个时刻。但如果发生了呢，也没什么好惊奇的。
I don't get phased, and angry, and depressed.
我不会生气，不会失望。
And why? Because that is a reasonable expectation to have.
为什么？因为那是一个应有的合理预期。
Friends have been stabbing each other in the back ever since friendships even started.
自从友谊开始存在，朋友互相在背后插刀的情况就存在了。
Next big idea: You have power over your mind - not outside events.
下一个重要的观点：你有能力战胜思想——而不是外界事情。
Realize this, and you will find strength.
意识到这一点，你就能找到力量。
And I talk about this all the time, so I'm not going to go into detail with it.
我一直在讨论这点，那么我就不详细阐述了。
But just going back to the whole renting example,
但回到整个租房子的例子，
basically the exact thing happened to me just a few days ago.
那是几天前发生在我身上的事情。
And one, I didn't get angry and pissed off,
第一，我没有生气，
because there was nothing surprising about it, that's something that I fully expect.
因为没什么好吃惊的，完全在我的预料之中。
But two... I don't have control over it. What do I have control over?
但第二…我无法控制。我能控制什么？
I said, "Okay, if this is not a good deal, then I can go find a better deal and live somewhere else."
我说，“好吧，如果这笔买卖不好，那我可以找个更好的交易，住到别的地方。”
Or, if this is still a good deal, "Then I'm going to stay here, and it's not going to affect my life.
或者，这是笔好买卖，“那我就打算继续住在这，也不会影响我的生活。
I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to be worried and stressed. I'm going to be happy." That is it.
我不会生气。不会担心也不会有压力。而且心情还很好。”就那样。
Marcus Aurelius says, "Remember that very little is needed to make a happy life."
马克·奥里利乌斯说，“请记住，幸福的生活其实并不需要太多的东西。”
And it's so true. Happiness is all about the quality of thoughts you put in your head.
的确如此。幸福就是你脑海中想法的质量。
All you have to do is put the right ones in there.
你要做的就是吸收正确的想法。
When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms,
当别人责备你或讨厌你，或者人们表达类似批评的时候，
go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are.
深入灵魂了解一下他们是什么样的人。
You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.
你会意识到没必要遭受来自他人个别意见的焦虑困扰。
So I know a lot of other YouTube creators, and when we talk,
我认识很多其他优酷创作者，当我们聊天的时候，
this is one of the biggest things that comes up.
这是经常被提及的大话题之一。
How do you deal with all the criticism?
你怎么处理所有的批评？
How do you deal with this really messed up stuff that you get on a daily basis?
你每天怎么处理这些乱七八糟的东西？
And there are many ways, but what Marcus Aurelius is talking about is one of them.
有很多方法，但马克·奥里利乌斯所探讨的是其中之一。
No one who has a great life or is successful is ever going to criticize you. I promise.
拥有伟大人生或成功的人是不会批评别人的。我保证。
And don't just trust me on this, let me ask you a question...
不要只在这一点上相信我，问你个问题…
I want you to imagine Elon Musk or Bill Gates,
我想让你想象一下伊隆·马斯克或比尔·盖茨，
or anyone who you think is successful or has a great life themselves, commenting below and calling me a faggot.
或是任何一个你认为成功的或拥有伟大人生的人物，在下面评论还叫我笨蛋。
I want you to try to imagine that.
我想让你尝试着想象一下。
I will guarantee you that that is never going to happen.
我保证根本不会发生那种情况。
Even when I look at my life and think, "When was I the most critical of others,"
甚至我审视自己生活的时候会想，“我在什么时候经常评论别人，”
it was exactly during the times that I sucked myself,
是在我自己很糟糕的时候，
when I had the most horrible, negative, depressing life myself.
在我人生最可怕、最消极、最绝望的时候。
So now that we've established that whoever criticizes you cannot possibly have a great life and be successful themselves,
所以我们现在肯定的是，不管是谁，批评你的人自己都不可能拥有一个伟大且成功的人生。
why would you even give the slightest weight to their opinion?
你为什么还要对他们的意见给予丝毫的重视呢？
And finally, the last big idea:
最后，最后一个重要的观点是：
How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks,
不关注邻居们所说所做所想，
but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.
而只专注于自己的人有更多的时间做到公正神圣。
So I talk about how I spent a lot of time with my grandma as a kid.
所以我说一下小时候和祖母度过的那些日子。
And she was probably the most miserable human being I've ever known.
她可能是我知道的最痛苦的人了。
And here's what she did all day. She'd wake and start bitching and gossiping about everyone we knew.
她整天就做这些事。醒来后就开始八卦我们周围认识的人。
Did you hear that this person got married to that person?
你有没有听说谁和谁结婚了？
Did you hear that this person might have slept with that person?
有没有听说这人可能和谁谁怎么着了？
Did you hear about what the government did wrong?
有没有听说政府出什么差错了？
And I'd look at her and I'd think, "But what are you doing right?"
我看着她，就想，“你又做对了什么呢？”
All you do is wake up and bitch and gossip about how everyone else is so horrible.
你所做的一切就是醒来后八卦一下所有人有多么可怕。
Now look, there are plenty of things that I don't like.
看吧，有很多事情我都不喜欢。
There are plenty of things that the government doesn't do well, and I could criticize them all day.
政府在很多方面做得不好，我可以整天批评他们。
But I just don't have that kind of time.
但我只是没有那么多闲工夫。
I don't have the time to worry about who's marrying who and who's having sex with who.
我没时间去担心谁和谁结婚了，谁和谁怎么着了。
Who cares? Why would I waste my time on that? Let's see...
谁在乎呢？我为什么要把时间浪费在那些事情上面？比如…
I can go on a walk and enjoy the nature for an hour,
我可以去散步享受一小时的大自然，
or I can sit at home and be negative and worry about what other people around me are doing.
或者我可以坐在家里，消极地担心周围的人都做了什么。
Who cares? What am I doing right?
谁在乎？做什么是正确的？
And I guarantee you, you're not doing anything right,
我保证，
when you spend your entire day worrying, bitching, and gossiping about how some guy married another guy.
当你整天都在担心、八卦谁谁结婚了的话，你不会做对任何事情。
