3.Ask Questions
3.问问题
Too many times I entered an argument knowing that I’m right and they’re wrong. Because why would I argue if I didn’t feel it worth fighting for? But then I realized, why would they think any different? Sometimes it is even better to ask questions rather than ignore the problem because you may begin to judge them without fully understanding their view. Simply learning why the person thinks a certain way can diminish the need for an argument all together. As my dad has taught me, there is always two sides to every story.
在过去我参与的许多争论中,我知道我是对的而他们是错的。因为如果我觉得不值得的话我怎么会和他们去争论呢?但是,后来我意识到,为什么他们会有不同的想法呢?有时问问题都比忽视问题要好,因为你有可能会在完全理解对方观点前就开始进行判断。只要知道为什么对方会这样想就能避免一场争论。我爸爸常教导我说:凡事皆有两面性。
4.Understand That No One Is You
4.明白自己是独一无二的
No one is ever going to think the same as you. We are all very different—different personalities, different past experiences, and different present situations. Learning the way a person thinks is sometimes the only way of truly understanding their position.
没有人的想法会和你的一模一样。我们都很不一样——不一样的人品性格,过去经历和目前处境。学会用别人思考的方式看问题有时是真正理解对方处境的唯一方式。
Mend Old Wounds
修复旧伤
Have you been in an argument that had no closure to it—that was just left as an open wound? It’s so important to do everything you can to find that closure. Hard feelings and grudges are often the result of unsettled conflict. Whenever my brother and I would get into an argument my parents would put us in a room and we couldn’t come out until we had worked it out. We hated it, but it worked. Finish what you started. It can be a hard thing to do, to go back to that, but re-approaching the situation with the right attitude will help it go smoother.
你有和别人进行过没有结果只留下未弥合分歧的争论吗?尽力得出一个结论很重要,未解决的冲突往往是造成反感和怨恨的原因。每次我和我兄弟争论,我的父母都会把我们关进一间房子里,没有争出结果就不能出来。我们很讨厌这样,但真的有用。善始善终可能很难,但是态度端正地重新解决问题会使事情更顺利。
My Challenge
我给你的挑战
I want to encourage you to think about these four points when you find yourself on the verge of a disagreement.
当你感觉自己想要发表不同意见的时候,我想要你思考以上四点。
What have you learned from working through difficult situations and what have you found works best in avoiding arguments? Please share your thoughts below this post.
你在处理困境的过程中学到了什么?你觉得什么是避免争论的最好方法呢?请在文章下方分享你的观点。
Simply thinking before you argue can result in less stress and more understanding, while carelessly jumping into an argument can result in regretful actions and damaged relationships.
争论前简单思考一下可以减少压力,增进理解,而无所顾忌地与人争论会让你后悔莫及,破坏关系。