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So I'm a woman with chronic schizophrenia.
我是一个患有慢性精神分裂症的女人
I've spent hundreds of days in psychiatric hospitals.
我曾经有几百天都待在精神病医院里面
I might have ended up spending most of my life on the back ward of a hospital,
也许我有可能一生大部分时间都待在医院的病房里
but that isn't how my life turned out.
但是我的人生并没有这样
In fact, I've managed to stay clear of hospitals for almost three decades,
事实上，我成功的离开了医院将近三十年了
perhaps my proudest accomplishment.
这可能是我最自豪的成就了
That's not to say that I've remained clear of all psychiatric struggles.
但是这并不代表我没有精神上的挣扎
After I graduated from the Yale Law School and got my first law job,
当我从耶鲁大学毕业以后我得到了第一份法律工作，
my New Haven analyst, Dr. White,
我在纽黑文的医生怀特先生
announced to me that he was going to close his practice in three months,
告诉我他将在三个月之后停止他的治疗工作。
several years before I had planned to leave New Haven.
这发生在我准备离开纽黑文的几年前。
White had been enormously helpful to me,
外特对我有很大的帮助，
and the thought of his leaving shattered me.
想到他的离开几乎让我崩溃
My best friend Steve, sensing that something was terribly wrong,
我最好的朋友史蒂夫，感觉到了有东西很不对
flew out to New Haven to be with me.
飞到了纽黑文来和我待在一起
Now I'm going to quote from some of my writings:
现在我要读一段我自己的笔记了：
"I opened the door to my studio apartment.
我打开我一室一厅的房子
Steve would later tell me that,
史蒂夫后来告诉我
for all the times he had seen me psychotic, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw that day.
即使他多次见过我病发的时候，也还是为他当天见到的我吃惊。
For a week or more, I had barely eaten.
我有一个星期没怎么吃东西了
I was gaunt. I walked as though my legs were wooden.
我很憔悴，我走路的时候感觉自己的脚是木头做的
My face looked and felt like a mask.
我感觉自己的脸是一张面具
I had closed all the curtains in the apartment,
我把所有的窗帘都关起来了
so in the middle of the day the apartment was in near total darkness.
正午的时候我的房间几乎是完全黑暗的
The air was fetid, the room a shambles.
空气难闻，屋子凌乱
Steve, both a lawyer and a psychologist, has treated many patients with severe mental illness,
史蒂夫，作为一个律师和心理学家，治疗过很多有严重精神病的患者，
and to this day he'll say I was as bad as any he had ever seen.
直到今天他会觉得这是他见过的最坏的情况了
'Hi,' I said, and then I returned to the couch, where I sat in silence for several moments.
“你好”，我说，然后回到我沉静了一时的沙发上
'Thank you for coming, Steve.
谢谢你的到来
Crumbling world, word, voice.
摇摇欲坠的世界，词，声音
Tell the clocks to stop.
告诉钟停下来
Time is. Time has come.'
时间，时间来了
'White is leaving,' Steve said somberly.
“外特要离开了”，史蒂夫说
'I'm being pushed into a grave. The situation is grave,' I moan.
“我被推倒坟墓里了，处境就是坟墓”我呻吟到
'Gravity is pulling me down. I'm scared. Tell them to get away.'"
地心引力在把我往下拉，我很害怕，告诉他们离开“
As a young woman, I was in a psychiatric hospital on three different occasions for lengthy periods.
作为一个年轻女人，我在精神病院里待过三段很长的时间。
My doctors diagnosed me with chronic schizophrenia, and gave me a prognosis of "grave."
我的医生给我诊断了慢性精神分裂，给了我一个”不乐观“的预测
That is, at best, I was expected to live in a board and care, and work at menial jobs.
就是说，我只能在看护下活着，做很低下的工作
Fortunately, I did not actually enact that grave prognosis.
但是很幸运的是，我其实没有执行这个预测
Instead, I'm a chaired Professor of Law, Psychology and Psychiatry at the USC Gould School of Law,
相反，我是一个南加州大学Gould法学院的首席法律教授，心理学教授，精神病学教授。
I have many close friends and I have a beloved husband, Will, who's here with us today.
我有很多亲近的朋友和亲爱的丈夫，他今天也来了
Thank you.
谢谢！
He's definitely the star of my show.
他当然是我人生中的明星。
I'd like to share with you how that happened, and also describe my experience of being psychotic.
我想和你分享这是怎样发生的，而且向你描述我作为一个精神病患者
I hasten to add that it's my experience,
我想说的是，这只是我的经历
because everyone becomes psychotic in his or her own way.
因为每个人的精神病多有不同的症状
Let's start with the definition of schizophrenia.
让我们从精神分裂的定义开始把，
