It was called Emerson

And I came here in May for a meeting

and it was told there was not much chance to get into the fall semester

especially a migrate

Then I just pleaded with the administrator, I said, look

Look, this is my last chance

this is the only place where I can learn how to be a comedian

the only place that can help me do that

He paused for a moment and he said, well, make up a joke about Emerson

You want to be a comedian

Say something funny about this place

I took a moment and I said okay

here's the weird thing about Emerson College

You can have girls in your room, you can have drugs in your room

you can have sex in your room 24 hours a day if you wanted to

The only thing you're not allowed to have, a hotplate

A man went by, what's going on

It's getting late and getting hot, you're cooking soup

Hey, you're making soup in there

Against all the rules and disregarding my bad academic record

he said you're willing to go to summer school

And I said, yeah, yeah, I've got no problems with summer school

And he said you're in

And for the first time in my life, being

funny have gotten me something besides detention

actually got me into college

And for the second time in my life

I met people with the same interest as me

This is the first place

people didn't roll their eyes when they say they want to be a comedian

You know when you say that to your parents, friends, they're like

oh, we're sorry

Heard about Jay

And our dorm was a 206 big history

the first time I did comedy with my roommate Jim Bronstein

also a student who went on to be a comedy writer as well