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How had she succumbed to the same pressures she had warned her nearly 100,000 followers about?
戴维斯是如何屈服于压力的呢？她曾对自己近10万的粉丝警告过这种身材压力。
Davis grew up in a small town in Northern California.
戴维斯在加利福尼亚州北部的一个小镇长大。
She put herself on a diet by the time she was 10, after she began to develop breasts.
她在10岁时就开始节食，当时她的胸部开始发育了。
Her weight fluctuated, but when she was thinner, she said, she could fit into the Abercrombie miniskirts that her friends wore, and teachers took her more seriously.
她的体重时有波动，但她说，当她比较瘦的时候，她可以穿上朋友们穿的爱芙趣迷你裙，老师们也会更认真对待她。
She was discovered through her Instagram shortly after she graduated from high school, and soon landed a job as Doen’s first curve model.
高中毕业后不久，通过她的Instagram她被星探发掘，很快就找到了一份工作，成为Doen的第一个曲线模特。
She has since modeled for much bigger brands, including Levi’s, Sephora and The North Face, but she became a familiar fixture on Doen’s website: The designers have called her their “longtime muse” and named a pair of jeans that came in extended sizes after her.
自那以后，她为更大的品牌做过模特，包括李维斯、丝芙兰和北面，但她成了多恩网站上的固定模特：设计师们称她为“长期的缪斯女神”，并以她的名字命名了一条加码牛仔裤。
As Ms. Davis grew up online, it felt natural to post about all the facets of her life — not just her modeling, but her racial justice activism, her artwork and her evolving relationship to her body.
因为戴维斯是在网上长大的，所以把她生活的方方面面发布在网上是很自然的，发布的内容不仅包括模特工作，还有她的种族正义激进观点、艺术作品以及她与自己的身材不断变化的关系。
Looking back, she said, in her passion to share her own learning process, she unintentionally positioned herself as an expert on body acceptance when that was not the case.
回顾成长经历，她说，她热情地分享她自己的学习过程，但无意中将自己定位成为了身材接纳方面的专家，而事实并非如此。
It was a humbling experience and part of the reason she has not yet broached her weight loss publicly.
这是令人羞愧的经历，也是她还没有公开谈论自己减肥的部分原因。
“I’m scared of being judged or yelled at or letting people down,” she said.
“我害怕被人评判、训斥或让人失望，”她说，
“Which is ironic, because I think my silence is letting people down more than me talking about it.”
“这很讽刺，因为我觉得我的沉默比去谈论这件事更让人失望。”
Those who appear to flip-flop can cause “intense feelings of betrayal,” said Sally A. Theran, a clinical psychologist and professor at Wellesley College who has researched parasocial relationships — the one-sided ties people form with media figures and influencers — and disordered eating in adolescence.
萨莉·塞兰是韦尔斯利学院的临床心理学家和教授，他研究准社交关系（人们与媒体人物和网络明星形成的单方面联系）和青春期的失调饮食，他说观点大幅转变的人可能会造成“强烈的背叛感”。
“I think if you’re going to put yourself out there, and if you’re going to earn money, then you’re positioning yourself as a leader in this domain, and you should take responsibility for the repercussions,” Ms. Theran said.
“我认为，如果你把自己放在这个领域，如果你要赚钱，那么你就把自己定位成了这个领域的领头者，你应该为自己的造成的影响负责。”塞兰说。
Few people, if any, become body positive proponents without struggling with the same societal standards they speak out against.
极少有人能成为“身材积极”的支持者而且还不用与他们公开反对的社会标准作斗争。
“I’ve seen creators say things like, ‘It’s just too hard, life is too hard, in this body,’” said Katie Sturino, a body acceptance advocate.
“我见过一些内容创作者说，‘太难了，生活在这样的身体里实在是太难了’。”身材接受倡导者凯蒂·斯特里诺说，
“It can feel like betrayal, but it’s a symptom of our culture and how in our society it is still the worst thing to be fat.”
“这可能像是背叛，但这是我们文化中的一种症状，在我们的社会里，肥胖仍然是最糟糕的事情。”
Ms. Davis acknowledged that with her weight loss came affirmation — more party invitations, more attention from men.
戴维斯承认，减肥之后她得到了肯定：收到了更多的派对邀请，更多的男性关注。
“I so badly want to be like, ‘What you look like doesn’t matter,’” she said.
“我非常想成为这样的人，就是‘你的外表是什么样的并不重要’，”她说，
“But it sure does change how people treat you.”
“但外表确实改变了人们对待你的方式。”
When Ms. James first noticed that Ms. Davis had lost weight, she unfollowed her.
詹姆斯首先注意到戴维斯减肥了，然后取消了对她的关注。
But then she noticed her feeds were full of people posting their exercise and diet routines.
但后来詹姆斯注意到给她的推送中都是人们锻炼和节食的帖子。
Ms. Davis was just one of many women who were no longer proudly plus size.
戴维斯只是不再身材大码且自豪的众多女性之一。
Ms. James re-followed her.
詹姆斯又关注了戴维斯。
And recently, she told me she started working out and shedding pounds herself.
她告诉我，最近她也开始锻炼和减肥了。
“I guess weight is just as much of a trend as anything else,” Ms. James said.
“我想体重和其他东西一样，都是一时的潮流而已。”詹姆斯说。
