I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome.
我尽可能地压抑住恐惧。我已经做出了决定。再浪费时间为那样的结局而痛苦就没有意义了。
I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
我得好好想想,因为爱丽丝和贾斯帕正等着我,因为躲开他们是完全不可能的,也是完全必要的。
I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from being suspicious?
I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to deal with one more thing in private, before Jasper was back.
我知道爱丽丝正在另一个房间里满心好奇地等着我。但在贾斯帕回来以前,我得在私下里处理另一件事。
I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye.
I let the waves of torture wash over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and went to face Alice.
有一阵子,我任由那阵痛楚肆无忌惮地席卷了我。随后,我同样把这痛楚推到一旁,去面对爱丽丝。
The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never manage improvisation now.