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Oh you're back.
你回来啦
We thought you ran away.
我们还以为你逃家了呢
Chestnut and I were just about to pick out
我和栗宝都准备要去收容所
another human from the shelter.
再捡个人回来养了
I had quite a day.
今天倒霉死了
8:00 to 10:00... Grind grind pain.
八点至十点 磨 磨 疼
10:00 to 11:00... Pain pain grind.
十点至十一点 疼 疼 磨
So I went to the drug store
所以我去药店
and bought an $8 bite guard
买了个八块钱的牙齿保持器
which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth.
结果不合我恐怖片般的牙型
And when I tried to return it
后来我去退货的时候
the cashier Rhonda
那个收银员 朗达
whose nametag said she was happy to help
虽然胸牌上写着"乐于服务顾客"
but who was neither happy nor helpful
结果却凶巴巴的 还百般刁难我
said that I couldn't return it
她说不能退货
because it had already touched my "teef."
因为这玩意儿已经接触过我的牙"翅"了
For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge
作为一个下巴快掉的人
you're sure flapping it a lot.
你怎么还不少说点话
Why is this rag with my father on it here?
为什么这有份写我老爸的小报
Don't look at me. Chestnut bought it.
瞪我干嘛 是栗宝买的
He likes it when I read him his daily horse oscope.
他喜欢我给他念每日星"马"座
Why is everybody so obsessed with the fact that
为什么大家都要对他的闭口不谈
he hasn't said anything?
穷追猛打呢
Haven't you ever been at a loss for words?
你没有过卡壳并无言以对的时候吗
Tampons yes. Words nah.
卡棉条有过 卡壳倒不会
Well this will make me feel better.
来做件让自己好受些的事
Whenever I'm in pain I need a treat.
每当我痛苦时 我就得享受一下
You know whenever you're in pain that is my treat.
每当你痛苦时 我都超级享受
Sushi! I hope you like crab roll.
寿司 希望你会喜欢蟹卷
I never had sushi.
我从来没吃过寿司
That doesn't even make sense.
这根本是是胡扯中的鬼扯
No sushi no dentist... Who are you?
没吃过寿司 没看过牙 什么人啊这是
A poor person.
穷人
Sushi's lazy.
寿司没点技术含量
If I come to your restaurant
要是我去日本餐厅
get up off your ass and cook the damn fish.
一定吼他们去把鱼给我煮熟了
I wish we could afford to go to this little sushi place
真希望我们能有钱去
in Tribeca where my father always took me.
我爸以前常带我去的日本小餐馆
We had this little joke.
每次我们进店里
Every time we'd walk in I'd always say...
都会开同一个玩笑 我总会说
And we would just laugh!
然后我们就捧腹大笑
So you're not funny in Japanese either.
所以你说日语也还是冷场女皇
I got this at a corner deli.
我在转角的熟食店买的
The cashier was Japanese.
那个收银员是个日本人
She said it was good.
她说这个很好吃
Oh I'm sure it's great.
肯定是真的啊
'Cause the disenfranchised immigrant
因为无公民权利的移民人士
serving the spoiled white girl
服务被宠坏的白人女孩时
would have no reason to lie.
肯定不会骗她
Get ready for something heavenly!
享受美味到上天堂的感觉吧
That's not heaven.
难吃到下地狱
Spit it out.
快吐出来
What a disappointment.
真是太不济了
Your first time.
你的第一次就这么毁了
Well that's kinda the way it goes with me and first times.
我的"第一次"都是这种下场
Here clean yourself off.
给 把身上擦擦干净
That's exactly the way it goes!
简直是历史重演 一模一样
