Topic（题目）:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week with long hours rather than work five days a week with a shorter hours.

Target text（文章正文）:

Nowadays, the most common type of work is to work five days with short hours and many people love this kind because it seems more regular.（切入点好）However, for me, i（i需要大写I）definitely thinks（第一人称，应该用think）that the former one（前一句话里只提到一种情况，就不用the former one，建议删除）, the job for three days a week longer hours can cause me more happiness.

Admittedly, five-day working per week with short hours has it advantages that people will not feel tired after working and（添加that）they can arrive home a little earlier.（建议先表达分论点，将第一句往后调，否则段落重点就偏离了）However, i（i用大写I）believe the other type of working is more suitable for the contemporary society, because working three days a week can help alleviate the pressure from the traffic jam. People will have more opportunities to choose the days they would love to work on and fewer people will work on the same day. Therefore, the population at the heavy traffic time will be decreased and when people go working, they would（无需虚拟，直接用will）feel more convenient.
Furthermore, employees will be less interrupted from the work. For many instances, people can find that they have not finished their work but their working times have already ended. At this time, they have to be interrupted from their work and prepare to（to不能和home连用，添加go）home. However, when they come back to work next day, they will need to spend time being familiar to work they left and therefore abase the efficiency of their working. Everybody knows that it's（建议最好不要用缩写）better not to interfere a person while he or she is concentrating. That is the same reason for working. Consequently, a long duration working per day is better for people amplify their working efficiency.

In addition, people will have more time to relax themselves. First（建议用On one hand）, if they just take three days on working, they will have less time on the way to office or home（表达与前面有重合，只是重点不一样，建议合并或换种思路）because the time spend on the distance is equal on each day. Second, on the rest from working hours, people will have more complete days to stay with their families. If they take continues three days to work, they would have 4 days left which is enough for a shot distance travel with families. Indeed, 4 whole days is much better than several pieces of time. Accordingly, working on three long-time-working days can make people feel more enjoyable.

In words, I strongly believe that taking three days on working for more hours and 4 days to relax will make me happier.

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：

总的来说，本文逻辑严谨，结构条理，观点论点表述到位，逻辑严谨。不过有些细节地方需要注意。

预估分数：24

学习建议：

1、尽量多阅读范文，模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。

2、多阅读不同类型话题的文章，积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。

3、可以多引用别人的观点内容。

4、阅读范文过程中，注意作者如何反向论证观点。