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Watching one's beloved go through pregnancy can be a bizarre and bewildering experience. It is also one that I assumed might be easy for me because we are the same sex.
看着自己的挚爱怀胎十月可能是一种神奇而又令人彷徨的经历。但由于我和伴侣都是女性，因此我以为这件事对我来说可能不难。
From the day we met, almost nine years ago, Bella was adamant that she wanted a child - and that she wanted to carry it. She loved the idea of pregnancy with the same vehemence with which I hated it. I wasn't convinced about having children. Finally, though, after seven years together, when I was 33, I felt ready. We began searching for a sperm donor.
从我们相识的那天起，大约9年前，贝拉就坚持要个孩子--而且希望由她来生。她特别喜欢怀孕这个想法，而我恰恰相反，我讨厌这一念头。因为我还不确定要不要孩子。然而，相恋7年后，当时我33岁，我终于觉得是时候了。我们开始寻找精子捐献者。
Although our journey towards a child has thus far been relatively short in comparison to that of many couples (heterosexual or otherwise), it has not been easy. First, there were the difficult conversations with certain family members, next the "matchmaking" websites, followed by awkward phone interviews with prospective donors, and then several artificial inseminations. We were disappointed when not just our first but also our second donor moved abroad. Luckily, we found a generous-spirited, rational man whom we liked and trusted very much to be our third and final donor. Within five months, Bella was pregnant.
虽然相比其他夫妇（异性恋夫妇或其它），到目前为止，我们要孩子的过程相对较短，但却也不是件易事。首先，要与某些家庭成员进行困难的沟通，然后搜索"配对"网站，之后打电话给潜在捐献者，问一些尴尬的问题，最后就是经历几次人工受精。当第一位精子捐献者移居国外后，第二位居然也出现了同样的情况，我们别提有多伤心了。但幸运的是，我们找到了一位有非凡肚量且十分理智的男性，我们十分喜欢、信任他，而他成为了我们第三位也是最终精子捐献者。五个月内，贝拉怀孕了。
Sadly, however, she miscarried at 10 weeks, last June. It was a traumatic experience that has marked her deeply, the true extent of which neither of us could have predicted. Yet we were keen to try again, and three months later she fell pregnant for the second time.
然而，不幸的是，她在第十周（也就是去年六月）的时候流产了。这让她深受打击，一度心情低落，这种情况是我们谁都没有预料到的。但我们又振作起来重新尝试，三个月后，她第二次怀上了。
This time things were different - not only did the baby "stick", but for Bella the first trimester was full of extreme sickness, lethargy and anxiety. The other major difference was that I began to experience all sorts of unexpected emotions: fear, confusion and a sense of being completely set apart from my wife and the baby growing inside her. I was filled with overwhelming self-doubt and a strong desire to run away from everything that spelled out parent.
这一次的情况有所不同--不仅宝宝"坚守"在贝拉的肚中，而且贝拉在头三个月里极度恶心、嗜睡和焦虑。另一个重大的变化就是我开始体验到各种各样意想不到的情绪：害怕、困惑以及有种远离了妻子和她肚中宝宝的感觉。我总是自我怀疑，强烈的希望摆脱一切拼有父母字样的东西。
So much for my lofty ideas about the myriad ways in which I might be more attuned to my partner during the pregnancy, and more invested in our baby, than any man could be.
我有很多的崇高想法（比任何男人都多）：怀孕期间，我该如何以各种各样的方式适应另一半以及如何给宝宝更多的爱等等。
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