We all strive to get what we want out of life, and each and every day we engage in interactions with the goal of getting something that we want or need. Inevitably, it always seems that some people are better at getting what they want than others are. We may simply chalk this up to good luck and good fortune, but it's more likely that there are other forces at play. People that seem to have everything go their way are probably just better at employing tactics of persuasion.Psychological principles underlie all human interaction, and by understanding what these are we can manipulate them to our advantage. Here are ten psychology tricks that persuasive people use to get what they want. They are all backed by real-life research, and have been shown to be effective in everyday situations. Advertisers, sales people, and politicians have been using them for decades. Now it's time for you to get in on the persuasive action.
生活中,为了得到自己想要的东西,我们都很努力地打拼,日复一日,绝不懈怠。但相较于其他人,似乎总有一些人不费吹灰之力便可得到自己想要的东西。我们或许会将他们的成功仅仅归因于运气好,但其实更可能是其他因素在起作用。这些人之所以看起来万事都称心如意,也许正是因为他们懂得如何运用说服别人的技巧。心理学法则暗藏于一切人际交往中,了解这些法则,就能让它们为你所用。在本文中,我们将为您呈现10个心理学技巧--"说客"们常用它们来达到自己想要的效果。它们都来源于对真实生活的观察和研究,其有效性已在日常生活中得到反复验证。 广告商、销售员以及政客们都已经沿用这些技巧数十年,那么,你也快来加入"说服行动"吧,就趁现在!
10.The Mindlessness of Ostensibly Thoughtful Action
10.人们看似思虑周全的行为中也包含盲目性
Sometimes the easiest way to get what you want is to simply provide a reason for why you are asking, even if it's nonsensical. The word "because" is a powerful part of a successful persuasive sentence, particularly when it comes to asking for small favors. This is because people are conditioned to respond to certain patterns in certain ways. When people are asked for a small favor, they often subconsciously default to a script where, "a small favor was asked of me, and a reason was given, so I should comply." Because people aren't always mindful when processing the information, the actual reason given is often less important than the fact that a reason was given at all.
有时,你若想要得到别人的帮助,最简单的方法就是给他一个理由,即使这个理由毫无意义。"因为"这个词语是一个有说服力的句子中相当重要的部分,尤其是在帮助你不过举手之劳时,别人更不会拒绝。这是因为人们习惯于在某些特定的情境下做出特定的反应。当遇到有人请求帮他一点小忙时,人们通常会下意识地默认这样一个心理思维情境--"别人找我帮一个小忙,也给出了理由,所以我应该帮助他"。由于人们在处理信息时并不能时刻保持警觉,因此给他一个理由比这个理由本身真实与否更加重要。
To illustrate this principle, we can turn to the study by Harvard University's Ellen Langer titled, "The Mindlessness of Ostensibly Thoughtful Action: The Role of ‘Placebic' Information in Interpersonal Interaction". In this study, adults in line to make copies at a Xerox machine were asked one of three questions. The first, "Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?" was a simple request. The second question, "Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I have to make copies?" was a request with placebic information. The third question, "Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I'm in a rush?" was a request with real information. The study then had participants ask the same three questions, but with a request for 20 pages instead of 5.
为了验证这个心理学法则,我们来看看哈佛大学的心理学教授艾伦·兰格(Ellen Langer)的一项实验研究--"人们看似深思熟虑的行为中也包含盲目性:论带有催眠作用的语言信息在人际交往中的作用"。在该实验中,研究人员从以下三个问题中随机挑选一个来寻问正在复印机前排队等候复印文件的人。第一个问题只是简单的求助:"你好,打扰一下,我有5页文件,可以让我先复印吗?";第二个问题里加了起催眠作用的理由:"你好,打扰一下,我有5页文件必须要复印,可以让我先来吗?";第三个问题里加了实质性的理由:"你好,打扰一下,我有5页文件要复印,很急用,可以让我先来吗?"。随后,研究人员又问了参与者三个同样的问题,只不过把上述问题里的"5页"换成了"20页"。
The researchers found that when a request was small, for 5 pages, people defaulted to the script mentioned above (favor asked, reason given, comply). So even when a bogus reason was given – I have to use the copy machine because I have to make copies – people were still 93 percent likely to comply with the small favor of making five copies. Without any reason being given, people were only 60% likely to comply. However, when the favor was larger and someone asked to cut in line to make 20 copies, people were more mindful of the reason given, and did not comply at nearly the same rates when an irrelevant reason was given.
研究者发现,在求助者提出要复印5页文件这种很小的请求时,人们会默认上文中提到的思维模式(提出请求、给出理由、答应请求)。所以,即使你给出一个不算理由的理由--我要复印所以我要用复印机--也依然有93%的人愿意提供帮助。但是,只有60%的人愿意答应不带任何理由的请求。然而,在有人提出要插队复印20份文件这种更过分的请求时,人们便会认真考虑对方给出的理由,此时,给出无关紧要的理由与不给任何理由被拒绝的比例几乎是一样的。
The moral of the story here is that if you want something small from someone, your chances will increase significantly if you provide a reason for your request, no matter how irrelevant that reason may be.
这个实验告诉我们:如果你想从别人那里得到小小的帮助,那就给别人一个理由,它多么无关紧要都好,能显著提高你的成功率才是最重要的。
9.Information Manipulation Theory
9.信息操控理论
Many persuasive people are able to obtain what they want by using deceptive communication practices. Steven McCormack's Information Manipulation Theory suggests that people hold certain assumptions regarding conversation, and that someone can secretly violate these conversational maxims for the purpose of deceiving his or her listeners.
很多"说客"运用误导性的沟通技巧来达到自己想要的效果。史蒂文·麦科马克(Steven McCormack)的"信息操控理论"表明,人们一般会秉持一定的谈话准则,但有人为了达到误导或欺骗听众的目的,会偷偷越过这些界线。
There are four conversational maxims set forth by McCormack: quantity, which means that information is complete and full; quality, which means that information is truthful and accurate; relation, which means that information is relevant to the conversation; and manner, which means that information is expressed in an easy-to-understand way, with non-verbal cues supporting the tone of the statement.
麦科马克制定了四个谈话准则:完整性,即信息完整丰富;准确度,即信息准确可靠;关联性,即信息与谈话高度相关;态度方式,即表达方式易懂,必要时应配以肢体、眼神等非语言动作来帮助阐明所述观点。
When someone wants to be deceptive to achieve a desirable outcome for themselves or their cause, they might manipulate the information that they disclose, violating the conversational maxim of quantity. Or people may distort the information that they disclose, violating the maxim of quality. Or people may present the information in a vague or unclear way, violating the maxim of relation. Or, finally, people may present information that is irrelevant to the preceding dialogue, violating the maxim of manner.
不论是为一己之私还是事出有因,当有人想通过诱导欺骗来获得理想结果时,他们可能违背"完整性"这一谈话准则,缩减自己想要表达的信息,可能违背"准确度"这一准则,歪曲信息;可能违背"关联性"这一准则,表达得含糊不清;最后还可能违背"态度方式"这一准则,答非所问。
By manipulating and exploiting one or more of the assumptions that govern conversational exchanges, people can mislead listeners. An example of the persuasive power of Information Manipulation given in McCormack's theory is a teenager who convinces their parents to let them to go to a party by saying that an adult will be there. However, the teenager failed to mention that the adult is a friend's 21-year-old sibling who is supplying alcohol for the party.
通过操控和利用一个或几个谈话准则,人们便可以误导听众。麦科马克在他的理论中列举了一个例子,以证明"信息操控"拥有强大的说服力:一位少年告诉其父母会有成年人出席他要参加的派对,从而成功取得了父母的同意。然而这个青少年没有提到的是,这个所谓的"成年人"不过是他朋友21岁的哥哥--来给这场派对提供酒水。
8.启动效应
Priming is a non-conscious form of human memory that is concerned with the perceptual, semantic or conceptual identification of words and objects through repetition. Priming can be used as a psychological tactic used to subconsciously train a person's memory. For instance, a stage magician or psychic might say the words "try" and "cycle" several times throughout a show, covertly priming an audience member to later think of the word "tricycle."
启动效应是指人类记忆的一种非意识模式,它与通过不断重复形成的对词汇或其他事物的感性、语义和概念的识别相关。启动效应可以作为一种心理战术,有意识地去训练和开发人的记忆能力。例如,如果舞台上的魔术师或巫师在表演中反复强调"try"和"cycle"这两个单词,潜移默化地来加深观众对这两个词的记忆,就会使得观众随后联想到"tricycle"这个单词。
People's behavior can also be altered through priming. The study "Automaticity of Social Behavior: Direct Effects of Trait Construct and Stereotype Activation on Action" asked groups of students to unscramble different words. One group received words of politeness, one group received words of rudeness, and one group received neutral words. After they unscrambled the words, the students were instructed to go the test administrator's office down the hall. In each case, the test administrator was found engaged in a conversation when they arrived. The control group of students who were exposed to the neutral words interrupted the test administrator 37 percent of the time. The students who were exposed to the rude words were covertly primed for rudeness, and they interrupted the test administrator 63 percent of the time. The students who were exposed to the polite words were covertly primed to behave politely, and they only interrupted 17 percent of the time.
人们的行为也可以通过这种启动效应进行改变。在一项名为"社会行为自主性:特征构建和刻板印象激活对行为的直接影响"的研究中,研究者将参与实验的同学分组,要求几组学生分别整理不同词性的词语。其中一组学生拿到的是敬语,另一组拿到的是一些粗语,最后一组同学拿到的是一些中性词。他们整理完这些单词后,都被要求去楼下大厅的考务官办公室接受测验。每组学生到达时都发现考务官正在跟别人谈话。接触中性词汇的对照组学生,打断考务官谈话的时间占到受试总时间的37%;而接触粗语的学生,他们自身的行为也在不知不觉间变得比较粗鲁无礼,他们中断考务官谈话的时间占到总时间的63%,而那些接触敬语的学生,似乎也受到那些词语潜移默化的影响而表现的很有礼貌、很有耐心,他们打断考务官谈话的时间只占了总时间的17%。
Priming clearly provides a stimulus that influences future thoughts and actions. Primed ideas tend to be more effective the more recent they are. Once primed, certain thoughts are brought close to the surface of the subconscious, making them more accessible and more relevant than other thoughts. Successful attempts at priming in order to influence someone towards a desired outcome needs to be done subtly. If the person realizes that they are being primed then your efforts will have the adverse effect.
显然,启动效应给受试者带来了一种足以影响他们之后的想法和行为的刺激。当启动变得越来越频繁的时候,所产生的影响力也会更加明显。经过这种启动的刺激后,一些特定的想法慢慢从潜意识中浮出,变得容易被联想和接受,从而更有效,更直接地去影响人们的行为。为了顺利影响某人并引导其走向你想要的结局,你必须巧妙地行动以求成功触发启动效应。因为如果对方已经意识到他正在被启动,那你的一切努力就将徒劳无功,还会适得其反,对你自身产生不利影响。
7.终极词汇
Researchers have found that there are certain words which carry power when they are used because of their particular meaning within each culture. There are three general categories of persuasive Ultimate Terms: God terms, Devil terms, and charismatic terms.
研究者发现,有些特定词汇在任何文化背景下都具有特殊的含义,它们一经使用就必然携带着一种力量。这些有说服力的终极词汇主要有以下三类:"上帝词汇"(God terms),"魔鬼词汇"(Devil terms)以及充满号召力的词汇(charismatic terms)。
God terms are good terms like progress, fact, family values, balanced budget and critical thinking. Devil terms are bad terms like racist, communist, terrorist, fascist, Nazi, gang member, sexual harassment and sweat shop. Charismatic terms are observable terms with a mysterious power, and they often require sacrifice. Charismatic terms include freedom and democracy.
"上帝词汇",就是一些包含正面评价的词,例如进步,事实,家庭价值观,收支平衡预算以及批判性思维等。"魔鬼词汇",就是一些折射负面评价的词汇,例如种族主义者,恐怖分子,法西斯分子,纳粹党人,黑帮成员,性骚扰以及血汗工厂等。而那些有号召力的词汇就是指一些好似拥有魔力、能让人们为之流血牺牲的词,比如自由和民主。
Politicians have been known to use ultimate terms to advance their ideas and policies. For instance, the Pentagon is called the Department of Defense, tax cuts are called tax relief, and vouchers become opportunity scholarships.
政治家们惯用此方式推行他们的政治理念和治国方针早已人尽皆知。举例来说,五角大楼被称为国防部,减税叫做税务优惠,教育补助金券(vouchers)叫做机会奖学金(opportunity scholarships)。
Sales people are often known for using certain words that appeal to basic needs. For example, the words "guaranteed" and "proven" evoke safety and the word "exclusive" suggests esteem. Negative words can also be used to scare people into action in the opposite direction. For instance, the word "dangerous" puts our safety at risk, while the word "ridicule" and "run-of-the-mill" put our esteem in question.
销售人员一般也以使用一些特定的术语来达到目的而著称。例如"有保证的"和"已被证实"这样的字眼总会给人以安全感,而"独一无二"这个词则暗示了极高的赞誉。在听到这些词语后,顾客会觉得这样的产品安全值得信赖因而去购买。同样的,一些包含否定性评价的词汇也可以对人们形成恫吓,使其朝着相反的方向行动。例如,"危险"这个词就会让人觉得自己面临安全风险,而"嘲笑"以及"平凡"这类的词又会有些伤自尊。
To be effective, ultimate terms must be used with a light touch. If ultimate terms are used repeatedly, they will quickly begin to lose their power. This could even lead to the opposite of the desired effect.
一般而言,要想这一心理学技巧行之有效,那么在使用这些终极术语时就需点到为止,切忌不断重复。如果这些词汇被频繁而重复地使用,其效力就会大大降低,甚至可能适得其反。
6.稀缺原则
The principle of scarcity is based on the fact that if something is believed to be unavailable in the future, it will seem more valuable. The thought of losing out on something is a more powerful motivation than the thought of gaining something of equal value. If people think they can't have something, then it becomes more attractive.
稀缺原则往往基于这样一个事实:越是得不到的东西,似乎越珍贵。错失某物总是比获得相应的等价物更易让人念念不忘。若是人们认为他们无法拥有某些东西,这些东西对他们而言反而更具吸引力。
The scarcity tactic is used in sales all the time. Customers are encouraged to buy an item before there are no more left, and limited numbers are often advertised regardless of whether an actual shortage exists or not. Deadlines work in much the same way. Offers that come along with a tagline of, "Act now before it's too late" are used to encourage people to buy something before they miss out on the opportunity.
稀缺原则一直被用作一种营销手段。商家总是在真正缺货前就怂恿消费者购买商品,无论商品是否真的缺货商家都会打广告称缺货限购。而鼓吹已是最后时限的营销与此有着异曲同工之妙。那些商品的价签上总会打上"机会不是天天有,该出手时就出手"这样的标语,促使消费者莫失良机,购买商品。
Scarcity has also been shown to come into play in interpersonal relationships. A potential mate may not hold an overwhelming appeal to someone, but once their availability is threatened then they suddenly become more much more desirable and wanted. The scarcity principle also has a strong influence on getting people to change health behaviors. People are much more likely to adopt healthier habits if they are threatened with what they will lose if they don't change a certain behavior, rather than told what they will gain if they do.
稀缺原理也被证明可在人际交往中发挥作用。一个对某人来说可有可无的"备胎",原本可以呼之即来挥之即去。但是当他开始变得有些难以掌控时,反而会突然更合某人眼缘,让人更加重视和珍惜。稀缺原理在帮助人们改善健康习惯方面也能起很大作用。相比于告知人们选择健康的生活方式可以得到些什么,远不如告知他们不改变自己的不良习惯将会失去什么更加有效。
Part of the scarcity principle involves the fact that people don't want to be denied any freedom that they currently have. As opportunities and items become less available, we lose the freedom to choose those opportunities or items.
稀缺原理还表现在人们不想被剥夺任何现有的自由。但随着机会与可选项越来越难以获得,人们也会失去选择它们的自由。