Oh, hello, Arthur Dent here. Look, sorry I haven’t been in for six months but I’ve gone mad.
Oh, not to worry. Thought it was probably something like that. Happens here all the time. How soon can we expect you?
When do hedgehogs stop hibernating?
Sometime in spring I think.
I’ll be in shortly after that.
Rightyho.
He flipped through the Yellow Pages and made a short list of numbers to try.
Oh hello, is that the Old Elms Hospital? Yes, I was just phoning to see if I could have a word with Fenella, er… Fenella Good Lord, silly me, I’ll forget my own name next, er, Fenella isn’t this ridiculous? Patient of yours, dark haired girl, came in last night…
I’m afraid we don’t have any patients called Fenella.
Oh, don’t you? I mean Fiona of course, we just call her Fen…
I’m sorry, goodbye.
Click.
Six conversations along these lines began to take their toll on his mood of vigorous, dynamic optimism, and he decided that before it deserted him entirely he would take it down to the pub and parade it a little.
He had had the perfect idea for explaining away every inexplicable weirdness about himself at a stroke, and he whistled to himself as he pushed open the door which had so daunted him last night.
Arthur!!!!
He grinned cheerfully at the boggling eyes that stared at him from all corners of the pub, and told them all what a wonderful time he’d had in Southern California.