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Bartleby
巴托比专栏
What’s wrong with Mondays?
周一到底哪里不好？
The most detested day of the week is misunderstood.
一周中最被嫌弃的这一天其实被误解了。
When the Boomtown Rats, an Irish band, released “I Don’t Like Mondays” in 1979, the song became an instant hit.
1979年，当爱尔兰的布鲁姆镇老鼠乐队发行了《我不喜欢星期一》时，这首歌立即走红。
The inspiration behind it was the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego that year.
这首歌的灵感来自那一年发生在圣地亚哥的克利夫兰小学枪击案。
The 16-year-old perpetrator listed “not liking Mondays” as her main reason for firing 36 shots, killing two adults and injuring eight children and a police officer.
此案中的肇事者年仅16岁，她称自己开了36枪、造成两名成年人死亡、8名儿童和一名警察受伤的主要原因就是她不喜欢星期一。
This is not, though, why the song resonated with millions of people around the world; most of them are in all likelihood unaware of its tragic origins.
这并不是这首歌引起世界各地数百万人共鸣的原因，大多数人很可能根本不知道这首歌是来自这场悲剧事件。
What many do recognise all too well is the difficulty of summoning the energy to get out of bed on Monday mornings in order to face the week ahead.
但许多人都很清楚的是，在周一早上用尽所有力气起床，并面对新的一周实在是太困难了。
Many bosses argue that starting off the week in person in the office creates good energy.
许多老板称，星期一亲自去办公室开始一周的工作可以鼓舞士气。
Plenty of employees beg to differ.
很多员工对此并不认同。
A paper published in 2021 by the Journal of Applied Psychology, found that people tend to be more ill-mannered on Mondays, and grow more courteous as the week unfolds.
《应用心理学杂志》在2021年发表的一篇论文发现，人们在周一往往会变得更加举止粗鲁，随着一周行将结束，人们也会变得越来越有礼貌。
A paper from 2015 by Yun Tae Hwang and Amy Kang published in the Medical Journal of Australia goes so far as to diagnose a new condition, Mondayitis.
黄允泰（音译）和艾米·康在2015年发表在《澳大利亚医学杂志》上的一篇论文甚至诊断出了一种新病情：周一症候群。
The authors define it as “a systemic illness with a non-specific constellation of symptoms including fatigue, lethargy or asthenia, dysthymia, irritability, light-headedness, photophobia, dry mouth, myalgia and headache in the absence of another focal or systemic illness”.
作者将其定义为“一种非特定症状的全身性疾病，症状包括疲劳、嗜睡或虚弱无力、情绪低落、易怒、头晕、畏光、口干、肌肉疼痛和头痛，但未出现其他局部或全身性疾病”。
These symptoms typically appear on the first working day after a period off work, which could be a weekend or a longer holiday.
这些症状通常出现在放假结束后的第一个工作日，可能是周末之后，也可能是更长的假期结束后。
They can lead sufferers to call in sick, decide to work from home or, if they do show up in the office, come across as detached and unavailable.
病情会导致患者打电话请病假、决定居家办公，或者，就算他们真的出现在办公室，也会给人一种冷漠和不愿说话印象。
So much for good energy.
可别说什么周一去办公室可以鼓舞士气了。
Mondayitis appears to be contagious, infecting other days of the week.
周一症候群似乎具有传染性，会感染一周中的其他几天。
Some Americans now complain of “Sunday scaries”, when pre-Monday dread sets in as the weekend draws to a close.
一些美国人现在抱怨有“周日恐惧症”，也就是周末接近尾声时，临近周一的恐惧感就会袭来。
Both conditions can be aggravated by a weekend hangover, a looming deadline or painful memories (double science in secondary school first thing in the morning?).
这两种病情都可能因周末宿醉、日益逼近的DDL或痛苦回忆(比如中学早上第一节就是双科学课？)而加重。
They are likely to be particularly acute among the nearly half of American workers who, according to a poll from 2022 conducted by UKG, an HR-software company, hate their jobs.
根据人力资源软件公司UKG在2022年进行的一项民意调查，近一半的美国人讨厌自己的工作，这些人的这两种病情可能会尤其严重。
Still, the sudden shift from non-work to work affects everyone, not just those who despise what they do for a living.
尽管如此，从非工作状态到工作状态的突然转变会影响所有人，不仅仅是那些鄙视自己的谋生手段的人。
The covid-19 pandemic has led many people to re-evaluate their work-life balance.
新冠肺炎疫情让很多人重新审视自己的工作与生活平衡。
A barrister in London who spends weekends working on cases likes to ease into the formal workweek with an elegant breakfast at The Delaunay and lunch in Inner Temple Hall.
周末在处理案件的伦敦律师，喜欢在周一去德劳内咖啡馆吃一顿优雅的早餐，再去内殿律师学院吃一顿午餐，以这种轻松的状态开启正式的工作周。
A broader movement is promoting the idea of a four-day workweek, one permutation of which would make Monday part of the weekend (though this may lead to an epidemic of Tuesdayitis instead).
一场更广泛的运动正在倡导上四休三的想法，其中一种安排是将周一变成周末的一部分(尽管这可能会导致周二症候群的流行)。
Less ambitiously, and more realistically, a social-media campaign for “bare-minimum Mondays” argues for a gentle start to the week.
另一场社交媒体运动不奢求这么多，而且更加现实，这场运动倡导“最低限度的周一”，希望以温和的方式开始一个星期。
All this reflects a deep human instinct towards self-indulgence and procrastination; there is a reason why “Thank God it’s Monday” does not feature on many bumper stickers or T-shirts.
所有这一切都反映了人类放纵自我和拖延的本能，汽车保险杠贴纸或T恤上很少会印“谢天谢地，今天周一”的字样，这是有原因的。
Still, on that first day of the week employees do not have to be mired in apathy, weariness and desire that things were otherwise.
尽管如此，在一周的第一天，员工们不必陷入厌世、疲倦的情绪并希望现实能有所不同。
As Robert Frost counselled in his poem, “A Servant to Servants”, “the best way out is always through.”
正如罗伯特·弗罗斯特在他的诗篇《仆人的仆人》中所建议的那样，“最好的步出方式永远是穿过。”
The preceding 60 hours or so were probably spent with people who have nothing to do with your job.
周一之前的60多个小时你可能都是和工作以外的人一起度过的。
You may have prepared—or merely enjoyed—a more elaborate meal than an al desko sandwich.
你可能做了一顿--或者享受了一顿--比坐在办公桌前吃的三明治更精致的饭菜。
You may have gone for a walk in the park or simply lounged in bed.
你可能去公园散步了，也可能只是窝在床上。
Either way, you almost certainly cleared your head.
无论是哪种方式，你肯定都已经放空大脑了。
Unless you capped the weekend off by going on a bender, this means that the following morning could be your most productive time of the week.
除非你周末的最后一天在狂欢聚会，否则星期一上午就可能是你一周中最有效率的时间。
For one banker, Monday is the day to cross items off their to-do list.
对于一位银行家来说，周一是把待办事项从清单上划掉的日子。
Your columnist, a guest Bartleby, feels crisp and invigorated on Monday mornings (which is when the editorial meetings take place at The Economist, planning and discussing the coming week’s issue).
笔者在周一早上感觉神清气爽、精力充沛(这时也会召开《经济学人》的编辑会议，计划和讨论下一期内容)。
The first shower, coffee and commute after the weekend do not have to feel like a hike with a rucksack full of stones.
周末结束后的第一次淋浴、第一杯咖啡和第一趟通勤并不一定要让人感觉像是背着满满一包石头在徒步。
They can instead be imbued with a renewed sense of purpose and, as such, act as a tonic.
相反，它们可以被注入一种全新的使命感，从而让人感到精神振奋。
It is on Friday afternoons when Bartleby feels depleted and cannot wait to go home—until Monday morning, when revived and spirited, she is ready to do it all over again.
笔者感到精疲力竭、迫不及待地想回家的时候是周五下午，直到周一早上，笔者又恢复了精神，并准备好开始新一周的循环。
