Unit 87
　　American Students' Sense of Freedom
　　American students' concern with freedom leads to two patterns of behavior that Chinese students often notice: (1) an unwillingness to make social commitments an (2) vague and changing definitions in acquaintanceships, friendships, and dating relationships.
　　American students tend to make social commitments only at the last minute. Many Americans want to have the freedom to do what they want, when they want, in order maximize their chance of having "fun". Chinese students sometimes feel frustrated by this. They fell personally insulted because they interpret it as a sign that the Americans are not truly interested in them. However, this behavior is often a sign of valuing personal freedom, rather than a reflection of their feelings about other people.
　　The Americans' vague and changing definitions about acquaintances, friendships, and romantic relationships also puzzle Chinese students. American students use the term "friend" very loosely. They do not always clearly define their dating relationships as a monogamous couple relationship, even if they are sexually active together. They might have one or more friends with whom they have sex; calling them "friends with benefits". If asked about their availability for dating, they might say they are "seeing someone", which is a vague term that can mean they are monogamously involved, casually dating a "friend with benefits", or regularly but not exclusively dating someone. In such instances, monogamy is not necessarily expected or desired by both of the individuals. This fluidity in relationship definitions can be very puzzling to someone from a culture that values clearly defined relationships between people.
　　Both under graduate and graduate American students have "parties" to socialize. The typical American party consists of people talking in small groups or pairs while drinking alcoholic beverages and perhaps snacking on some dry food or "chips and dip". Loud music may be playing. Departmental receptions and parties often feature beer or wine.
　　Many of the people at these parties may be strangers to each other. When invited to a party, Americans are relatively unlikely to ask, "Who will be there?" They are accustomed to meeting strangers and starting conversations with them. The parties usually do not include games or large-group interactions. So individuals must take the initiative to introduce themselves to strangers and talk with them.
　　Many Chinese students find these parties boring or stressful. Chinese tend to be more accustomed to dinners as a way to get together with friends or acquaintances. Few if any strangers will be at a dinner. The atmosphere may be quieter and conversations deeper than at a typical American student party.