The Eyes Have It 眼见为实

陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他和美国同事Amy刚刚开完会。

(Office ambience)

A: 陈豪，Do you have a few minutes to talk?

C: Sure, 有什么事吗？

A: I noticed something in our meeting just now. 做为朋友，我觉得应该告诉你。It has to do with good etiquette.

C: 我有什么地方做得不对吗？西方礼节对我来说还有些陌生，你可得随时提醒我。

A: It has to do with body language, specifically eye contact.

C: 肢体语言？Amy, 你能说得具体点儿吗？

A: We send nonverbal messages with our arms, our legs, our posture, our gestures and most often with our eyes.

C: 你是说能从我眼睛里能看出我的想法吗？

A: 没错。比方说，今天开会时，your eyes said more than your words or your facial expression. Todd 介绍提案时，我能看出你不同意他的意见。

C: 奥，你从我眼睛就能看出来？我真的是有异议。可你看出来的？我可是一字都没说呀。

A: You didn't have to. You rolled your eyes.

C: 我翻眼睛了吗？我怎么一点儿都没觉得。

A: 你是下意识的。You were not aware, but several people at the meeting noticed.

C: 那就是说虽然我嘴上没表示反对，其它人还是能够看出来。Was there anything else that I did with my eyes?

A: Unfortunately, yes. You looked away several times while Todd was speaking.

C: 这有什么不好吗？他说的我都听过好几遍了。

A: 没错。By not looking at Todd, you gave the impression that you had heard it all before and were not the least bit interested in hearing more.

C: 这我可没想到。我一直在努力管住自己的嘴巴，不要乱讲话。

A: Well, your eyes did that for you.

C: Amy, 你还从我的眼神儿里看出什么了？

A: When you lost complete interest in what Todd was saying, you just stared at him blankly. It was that old "deer in the headlights" look.

C: “车前灯里的鹿”是什么意思啊？

A: For the deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, its expression is one of looking, but not seeing.

C: 你是说我的眼睛虽然看着Todd，但是别人能看出来，我其实并没有听进去？

A: That's right. The courteous professional is as conscious of his body language as he is his spoken language.

C: Amy, 你能不能再提醒我一下，以后要怎么做，省得我的眼睛把我的想法都泄漏出去了。

A: 记住，眼睛是心灵的窗口。Learning to control the message that your eyes send is the key to courteous communication.