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'Single shaming': Why people jump to judge the un-partnered

Asking why someone is ‘still’ single and assuring them they’ll ‘find their person soon’ may seem like thoughtful, even sensitive, ways to check in on single friends. However, these simple phrases constitute ‘single shaming’ – and they’re likely to be more harmful than helpful.

Single shaming results from negative biases about people who are not partnered: they must be sad and lonely for not having a partner; they’re actively looking for one, but haven’t found a match yet; and there must be something wrong with them that’s causing to them to wind up alone.

All these stereotypes are driven by pressures to conform to long-held societal standards: get the partner, shared home, 2.4 kids and a dog, and a person has assembled all the ingredients they need for a happy life.

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