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For almost two months I barely washed or changed my clothes.
在将近两个月的时间里，我几乎没有洗过衣服，也没有换过衣服。
The bathtub got clogged and I did nothing to fix it, and even when I went to bed I barely changed out of my depressed man’s garb: shapeless corduroy trousers, an old sweater full of holes, trainers whose laces I’d removed as if in anticipation of the precautions that would soon be imposed on me in psychiatric hospital.
浴缸堵塞了，我没有采取任何措施来修复它，甚至在我上床睡觉的时候，我也几乎没有脱下我那一身沮丧的男人装：不合身的灯芯绒裤子，一件满是洞的旧毛衣，解开鞋带的运动鞋，好像是预料到我在精神病院不久就要受到的预防措施。
I don’t stop trembling, objects fall from my hands.
我不停地发抖，东西从我手中掉下来。
If I put jars of yoghurt in the fridge, they slip and crash on to the kitchen floor.
如果我把一罐罐酸奶放在冰箱里，它们就会滑倒，摔到厨房地板上。
Yoghurt I can deal with, but one day I wanted to move a little statue of the Gemini twins, which I’d placed on a shelf like an altar, by a few inches, and I dropped it, too.
酸奶我还能接受，但有一天我想把放在像祭坛一样的架子上的双子座双胞胎的小雕像移动几英寸，结果它也掉了下来。
It shattered.
它碎了。
I stood there for at least an hour, looking at these pieces of terracotta which had been the secret symbol of my love, between my feet on the parquet floor, and I thought: there you go, you couldn’t say it more eloquently, everything was broken, nothing could be repaired, it was all over.
我站在那里至少一个小时，看着这些曾经是我爱情的秘密象征的陶俑，在我的双脚之间，在拼花地板上，我想：你看，你说的再清楚不过了，所有的东西都坏了，什么都修不好，一切都结束了。
My internment at Sainte-Anne psychiatric hospital lasted for four months.
我在圣安妮精神病院住了四个月。
The medical report, which I have in front of me, begins with this summary: “Characteristic depressive episode with melancholic elements and suicidal ideas in the context of a type 2 bipolar disorder.”
摆在我面前的这份医学报告以这样的摘要开头：“在2型双相情感障碍的背景下，带有忧郁因素和自杀想法的典型抑郁发作。”
And, a little further on, here’s how the patient is described on admission: “Moderate psychomotor retardation with hypomimia, sad expression but emotional reactivity.
更进一步说，病人入院时是这样描述的：“中度精神运动迟缓伴低状态，表情悲伤，但有情绪反应。
Despondency, anhedonia, abulia, significant moral suffering, asthenia with a considerable psychic and physical toll incurred in carrying out daily activities.
抑郁、快感减退、意志消沉、严重的精神痛苦、虚弱，在日常活动中造成严重的精神和身体虚弱。
Melancholic elements with pejoration of the future and a sense of incurability.
忧郁的元素，带着对未来的悲观和无可救药的感觉。
Ruminations, feelings of guilt towards loved ones, invasive suicidal ideations … ”
反思，对所爱之人的愧疚感，侵犯性自杀想法…”
