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There are many reasons to suspect that one of the dominant problems in the world today is an excess of anger.
有很多理由怀疑，当今世界的主要问题之一是过度愤怒。
We have so much about the very shouty and their antics: their tantrums, their lack of reason, their unwillingness to compromise.
我们对他们的吵闹和滑稽行为有太多的了解:他们发脾气，他们缺乏理性，他们不愿妥协。
But it may be rather more realistic, albeit odd sounding, to insist on the very opposite:
但坚持完全相反的观点可能更现实，尽管听起来很奇怪：
that whatever the impression generated by a publically vocal angry cohort,
不管一群公开愤怒的人给人留下什么样的印象，
the far more common yet (by nature) invisible problem is a contrary tendency, a widespread inability to get angry, a failure to know how rightly and effectively to mount a complaint, an inarticulate swallowing of frustration
更常见但(本质上)看不见的问题是一种相反的倾向，人们普遍无法生气，不知道如何正确有效地抱怨，无法清楚地咽下沮丧
- and the bitterness, subterranean ‘acting out’ and low-level depression that follow from not allowing any of our rightful sorrows to find expression.
—以及由于不允许我们任何合理的悲伤得到表达而产生的痛苦、隐蔽的“发泄”和低程度的抑郁。
For every one person who shouts too loudly, there are at least twenty who have unfairly lost their voice.
每有一个人喊得太大声，就至少有二十个人因为不公平的原因失声。
We are not talking here in praise of delirious rage, the sort that injures innocents and leads nowhere.
我们在这里谈论的不是赞扬发狂的愤怒，这种愤怒伤害了无辜者，没有任何结果。
The point isn’t to rehabilitate barbarism, it’s to make a case for an occasional capacity to speak up - with dignity and poise
重点不是要恢复野蛮行为，而是要为偶尔有能力以尊严和冷静的态度说话提供理由
- in order to correct a reasoned sense that something isn’t right - and that those around us need to take our perspective on board.
——为了纠正一种合理的感觉，即有些事情是不对的——我们周围的人需要从我们的角度出发。
We are - as a rule - hopeless at being angry from the very nicest of motives:
一般来说，出于最善意的动机而发怒是糟糕的:
in part, from a belief in the complexity of situations and the minds of other people, which undercuts enthusiasm for anything that smacks of self-righteousness or pride.
在某种程度上，这是因为相信情况的复杂性和他人的想法，这削弱了人们对任何带有自以为是或骄傲意味的事物的热情。
We tell ourselves - in relationships or at work - that others must have their good reasons for behaving as they do, that they must be essentially kind and good
我们告诉自己--无论是在人际关系中还是在工作中--别人的所作所为必须有很好的理由，他们本质上必须是和蔼和善良的，
and that it would be an insult to their efforts to raise our hand about a problem that we surely don’t even entirely understand.
当我们试图提出一个我们肯定不完全理解的问题时，这将是对他们努力的一种侮辱。
We tend to import our modesty from childhood.
我们往往从小就养成谦虚的习惯。
It’s a privilege to allow a child to manifest their frustration - and not all parents are game.
允许孩子表现出他们的挫折感是一种特权-并不是所有的父母都是这样的。
Some are very keen on having a ‘good child’.
有些人非常渴望有一个“好孩子”。
They let the infant know from the first that being ‘naughty’ isn’t funny and that this isn’t a family where children are allowed to ‘run rings around’ the adults.
他们让婴儿从一开始就知道，“淘气”并不好玩，这不是一个允许孩子们“绕着大人跑”的家庭。
Difficult moods and tantrums, complaints and rages are not to be part of the story.
不好的情绪和发脾气与抱怨和愤怒不是故事的一部分。
This certainly ensures short-term compliance, but paradoxically, preternaturally good behaviour is usually a precursor of bad feelings, and in extremes mental unwellness, in adulthood.
这当然确保了短期的顺从，但矛盾的是，异常好的行为通常是不良情绪的先兆，在极端情况下，成年后还会出现精神不适。
Feeling loved enough that one can tell parental figures to sod off and occasionally fling something (soft) across the room belongs to health;
可以感受到足够的爱，可以告诉父母们走开，偶尔在房间里扔一些(软的)东西，这是健康的;
truly mature parents have rules and allow their children (sometimes) to break them.
真正成熟的父母都有规矩，而且有时会允许他们的孩子打破这些规矩。
Otherwise, there is a species of inner deadness that comes from having had to be too good too soon and to resign one’s point of view without a flicker of self-defence.
否则，就会有一种内在的死亡，这种死亡来自于不得不在过短的时间内变得过好，放弃自己的观点，而没有一丝自卫的迹象。
In relationships, this might mean a tendency to get taken royally for a ride for many years, not in terms of outright abuse (though that too) but the kind of low-level humiliation and taken-for-grantedness which seems the lot of people who can’t make a fuss.
在一段关系中，这可能意味着多年来有一种受人摆布的倾向，不是指直接的虐待(尽管那也是)，而是一种低级的羞辱和想当然，似乎很多人都不会小题大做。
At work, an unwavering concern for politeness, empathy and gentleness may end up providing the perfect preconditions for being walked all over.
在工作中，对礼貌、理解和温顺的坚定不移的关注，可能最终会为被人欺负提供完美的先决条件。
We should - at times - relearn the neglected art of politely being a pain.
我们应该——有时——重新学习被忽视的礼貌制造痛苦的艺术。
The danger of those who have never shouted is that they might, in compensation, end up screaming.
那些从来没有喊过的人的危险在于，作为补偿，他们可能会以尖叫收场。
That isn’t the point either.
这也不是重点。
The goal is a firm but self-possessed protest: Excuse me, but you are ruining what’s left of my life, I’m so sorry, but you are cauterising my chances of happiness; I beg your pardon, but this is enough.
目标是坚定而冷静的抗议:对不起，你正在毁掉我剩下的生活，我很抱歉，但你正在毁掉我幸福的机会; 请原谅，但这就够了。
We have the speeches written in our heads already.
我们已经把演讲稿写在脑海里了。
There is likely to be a spouse, a parent, a colleague, or a child who hasn’t heard enough from us for far too long
很可能有一个配偶，一个父母，一个同事，或者一个孩子，他们已经很久没有听到我们的消息了
- and who it would be of incalculable benefit to our heart-rate and our emotional and physical constitution to have a word with.
——和他们说上几句话对我们的心率，我们的情绪和身体状况都有不可估量的好处。
The timid always imagine that anger might destroy everything good.
胆小的人总是想象愤怒可能会毁掉一切美好的事物。
They overlook - because their childhoods encouraged them to - that anger can also be a fertiliser from which something a lot less bitter and a lot more alive can emerge.
他们忽略了--因为他们的童年鼓励他们这样做--愤怒也可以是一种肥料，从中可以产生一些不那么痛苦、更有活力的东西。
