Word origin

最近一个热词频频出现各大社交媒体，大家对它的反应也褒贬不一，它就是我们今天的 Buzzword Social Butterfly.

开始节目前先来问问几个问题：

初次和人见面，你是否可以毫无障碍地展开对话？你喜欢结交新朋友，享受“众星捧月”式的场合么？

可以想象一部分小伙伴已经在摇头了，随着我们的屏幕时间，线上生活的占比越来越多，大家似乎进入了也给“人均社恐”的年代。

今天的Buzz word恰恰是“社恐”的另一面“社牛”。

Social Butterfly

“社交NB症患者”

It is a term used for people who are socially skilled, extroverted, and well-liked by others. They fit in well in different situations, make friends easily, and tend to feel pretty positive on a regular basis.

Social Butterfly 的定义其实很形象，蝴蝶色彩斑斓、四处飞舞的形象像极了所谓的“社交达人”。

那作为一个Social butterfly需要哪些特质呢？

They are usually easygoing, charismatic and can walk in a room and start a conversation with anybody.

ta们常常性格随和，充满魅力，和任何人都能聊的起来。

They are extroverted, this means that they’re often outgoing, pleasant, talktive, and approachable.

ta们通常外向，容易接近而且超级健谈。

They’re more active and sometimes, tend to have a socially dominant style when talking and interacting.

交谈时，在互动方面也倾向于占主导地位。

They also tend to have a lot of energy. Being enthusiastic across many different interactions several times a day takes energy.

能做“社交花蝴蝶”的，一般都有用不完的热情。

听到这，是不是有人开始有点小嫉妒了呢？“社交NB症患者”似乎有参加不完的party, 结交不完的朋友，听上去生活很丰富多彩的样子。

其实啊，眼见不一定为实。

社交

Social Butterfly

达人

Challenges of being a social butterfly

做一只花丛中穿过，众人都瞩目的social butterfly 就没有挑战么？

No, no, no, it comes with a lot of challenges, Here are four examples:

Sharing the spotlight

Some challenges have to do with how social butterflies get along with others in their life.

For instance, while they like to be the center of attention, they might have trouble sharing the stage. “They might not let someone else be in the spotlight, even if they need or deserve to be there,” And that can end up causing friction in personal relationships.

当你站惯了C位，还愿意把聚光灯拱手让给别人么？当你习惯了全世界都围绕着自己转，还愿意别人分走一些关注么？

一旦其他“蝴蝶”抢走了一点风头，矛盾就很容易爆发。

Having deep, authentic friendships

Quantity doesn't always translate to quality, and that can be true of a social butterfly's extended social circle.

Even though social butterflies have a lot of friendships, they tend to be more superficial ones.

朋友多不代表朋友真，友情是并不靠数量取胜的，“社交达人”的圈子确实比一般人大，可是真心相待的又有几个呢？

Making risky or impulsive choices

Social butterflies are also more willing to take risks, which can be positive—but only to a degree.

When taken too far, such risky choices may “create trouble for themselves because they tend to be a little more impulsive,”.

Social butterflies may also tend to say whatever comes to mind, and as a result of this lack of filter, “might make an occasional social faux pas or be prone to accidents or misunderstandings”

社交达人习惯了掌控现场，想到什么说什么，有时也会给人“冲动”、“给别人造成麻烦”的印象，甚至，口无遮拦会“翻车”造成“社死”现场。

Being bored

And since these extroverts thrive from togetherness and community, they may struggle with the fact that life can't be a huge party at all times.

Being able to put up with bouts of monotony and boredom “makes you more successful in a lot of different domains”.

生活并不是一场永不散席的party, 我们也没必要一直在里头扮演“八面玲珑”的角色。

能融入其中，也能适时把自己摘出来的能力很重要。不然习惯了“推杯换盏”的社交生活，一个人独处时很容易感到孤独。

而且，你以为“社交NB症患者”内心就不会社恐吗？有很多Social butterflies表面看上去如鱼得水、谈笑风生，但心里也一样会担心不被人喜欢。

Q&A

How to get along with a social butterfly？

Getting along with a social butterfly can become tricky over time. If you feel like the social butterfly in your life is constantly making things about them or is saying hurtful things (even if unintentionally), speaking up about how they make you feel is important.

社交牛掰的人往往很容易成为“焦点”。如果待在这类朋友身边让你感到压力山大，可以直言你的压力以及如何让你们关系更融洽。

It’s also important to set “reasonable expectations” for a long-term friendship with a social butterfly.

和“社交达人”的友谊也不要抱有类似于“天长地久”之类的过高期望， 因为ta们本来就会因为出众的社交能力参加各种社交活动，广结朋友。

Social Butterflies

What if you

suffer from social anxiety?

1. Focus outwards not inwards.

People are usually too caught up in their own heads to notice the anxiety levels of others.

The reality is that people are far more concerned with how they’re coming across in a social interaction than how you’re coming across.

So if you’re feeling anxious or nervous, it’s more than likely the person you’re interacting with is feeling something similar.

在社交场合中，我们常常会放大自己的焦虑和不安；其实，别人也一样焦虑。

减少对自身的关注，想想“我们都一样”，不失为一个好办法哦。

2. Fake it 'till you make it.

In short, if you fake your mood initially, you’re likely to feel a knock-on effect that will actually leave you feeling more confident.

Start small and try flashing the shop assistant with a smile when you’re paying for your groceries, making sure to take note of how you feel afterwards.

如果想要尝试踏出舒适圈，更多地与他人social，可以一些简单的开始，比如在购物时和收银员的目光接触，微笑，简短交流等等，并且记住自己的感受-这很重要。

3. Focus on quality not quantity.

Social skills are like a muscle – use them or lose them. If you want to improve your social skills, it’ll take a bit of practice, but it’s also important to know your limits.

Understand the social settings that are a struggle for you, and the kinds you’re more likely to enjoy. Then do your best to manage your time so that you’re not overloading yourself with commitment.

社交的技能锻炼就像肌肉塑造-用进废退。想要成为社交达人，可以稍加锻炼，可以练习。

不过需要稍加留意哦，不要盲目追求突破极限，更重要的是自己的感受，什么样的突破会让自己肾上腺素飙升，什么样的突破会让自己难堪不已。

4. Be prepared

Preparing some conversation starters would be recommended before an event so you have something to chat about if you find yourself faced with an awkward moment.

Do your homework before an event – read the paper and watch the news. You’ll find it easier to ask questions and join conversations if you feel like you’ve got something to contribute.

出席活动时，可以先对活动有个大致的了解，做一些research, 有备无患。

准备些话题，甚至可以是问题，交流其实就是沟通，除了贡献答案，还可以是提问，让那些有表达欲的人来回答你的问题，这一来一回的不就热络了吗~

5. JOIN A CLUB

If you’re keen to combine meeting new people with getting better at a skill or hobby, consider joining a club.

It might feel cliché, but think about what you like to do and what you’d like to learn. From sports teams to hiking clubs, there’s bound to be a group of like-minded people you can join.

还可以试试加入各种“组织”，运动、学习俱乐部...想想自己感兴趣，想要尝试的是什么，在志同道合的人群里可能可以更快地学习social技能。

新词拓展

Example 1：

-Social butterflies tend to be naturally extroverted and charismatic.

Example 2：

-Even social butterflies may suffer from social anxiety from time to time.

Key Words

本 期 关 键 词

Social Butterfly

社交NB症患者

Extroverted

外向的

Charismatic

富有个人魅力的

Approachable

好接近的/平易近人的

Socially dominant

社交方面占主导地位的

Enthusiastic

热情的

Spotlight

聚光灯/大众的关注

Authentic

真正的

Superficial

表面的

Impulsive

冲动型

Lack of filter

说话没遮拦

Social faux pas

社交失礼（类似社死行为）