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Has anyone ever broken your trust?
有人曾辜负了你的信任吗？
Don't you wish you could have known how untrustworthy they really were instead of learning the hard way?
你是否希望知道他们是多么的不值得信任，而不是从痛苦中吸取教训？
There are many different ways to find out whether or not someone is trustworthy to prevent heartbreak and betrayal.
有很多不同方法能够知道对方是否值得信任，以避免心碎和背叛。
Some are extremely obvious, others are small and subtle. So here are eight signs someone cannot be trusted.
有些很明显，有些比难看清。以下是某人不值得信任的8种迹象。
1. They break promises.
1. 他们不守承诺。
Has this person broken promises in the past? Do they have a bad habit of spilling secrets?
这个人以前就不受承诺吗？他们有泄露秘密的坏习惯吗？
They promise not to tell anyone, so you trust them with intimate details about your life
他们保证不会告诉任何人，所以你信任他们，把你生活中的私密细节告诉他们，
but sooner or later you discover they've let your secrets slip.
但不久你就发现他们泄露了你的秘密。
If you know someone who hasn't kept their promises, they'll probably do it again.
如果你知道他曾不受承诺，那么他很可能还会这么做。
2. They hide things from you.
2. 他们对你有所隐瞒。
Does someone you know hide certain parts of their lives? Are they overprotective of their phone?
你认识的人有没有隐藏他们生活的某些方面？他们对自己的手机过度保护？
Do they change the subject whenever you want to know more about them or their lives?
每当你想要对他们了解更多，他们就会转移话题？
If the answer is yes, they may have something to hide.
如果答案是肯定的，他们或许有事瞒着你。
You wary of how much you trust these people, they may be hiding things for a reason.
你要谨慎对这些人的信任，他们可能会有所隐瞒。
3. They don't understand themselves.
3. 他们不了解自己。
You know someone who lies to themselves.
有些人会对自己撒谎。
For example, your friend is loud and obnoxious every time you see them, yet they always describe themselves as shy and reserved.
例如，每次你见到你的朋友时，他们总是吵吵闹闹，令人讨厌，然而他们总是说自己很害羞，很矜持。
Their self-image doesn't really match their behavior.
他们的自我印象和他们的行为并不匹配。
In other words, they lack self-awareness so they end up lying to themselves.
换句话说，他们缺乏自我意识，所以他们会对自己撒谎。
These people will claim to be trustworthy without realizing how untrustworthy they really are even to themselves.
这些人自称自己值得信任，却没有意识到自己甚至对自己都是不值得信赖的。
4. They're unpredictable.
4. 他们不可预测。
Is this person unpredictable? In a 1985 study, Rempel and others discovered that predictability is a powerful measure of trust.
这个人不可预测吗？在1985年的一项研究中，Rempel等人发现可预测性是衡量信任的有力指标。
If someone is consistent, they're more likely to be truthful and dependable;
如果一个人始终如一，那么他们更值得信任和依赖；
whereas if someone is unpredictable, they may betray your trust.
但如果一个人不可预测，他们可能会背叛你的信任。
5. They react negatively to everything.
5. 他们对任何事情都反应消极。
According to a 2015 study by Rodriquez and others, negative reactivity is a common sign of distrust.
根据Rodriquez等人2015年的一项研究，消极反应是不信任的常见迹象。
Does this person get angry at you for everything? If so, deep down they may feel insecure about your friendship or relationship.
这个人会因为你做的每件事而生气吗？如果是这样，那么在他们内心深处，他们可能对你们的友谊或恋情感到不安全。
They probably don't trust you. Your trust gets stronger when it's mutual. If someone trusts you, you have more reason to trust them.
他们可能不信任你。双向信任会增强你的信任感。如果对方信任你，你就有了信任他们的更多理由。
If not, they're more likely to go behind your back.
如果不信任你，他们更有可能背叛你。
6. They get jealous easily.
6. 轻易地嫉妒。
Jealousy is another telltale sign that your trust doesn't go both ways.
嫉妒是另一个信号，表明你们的信任不是双向的。
Several studies have found that jealousy stems from a fundamental lack of trust.
一些研究发现，嫉妒源于缺乏信任。
Your partner, for example, may get nervous when you're gone. Why? Because they don't completely trust you.
例如，当你离开时，你的伴侣可能会感到紧张。为什么？因为他们并不完全信任你。
Just like before, if someone doesn't have faith in you, they may not deserve your trust.
就像以前一样，如果一个人不信任你，他们可能不值得你的信任。
7. They project their insecurities.
7. 他们会投射自己的不安全感。
Do you know someone who is constantly accusing you?
有谁经常指责你的吗？
Imagine you're having trouble in school, you're taking a really difficult class but you're working as hard as you can to keep up.
想象一下你在学校遇上了麻烦，有一门课非常难，但你正在尽你所能地努力以跟上进度。
One night you tell your friend about how you're struggling and they suddenly accuse you of being a quitter.
一天晚上，你告诉朋友你有多挣扎的，他们突然指责你是一个半途而废的人。
Why would they say something like that? Chances are they're wrestling with a problem in their own life.
他们为什么会这么说？可能是因为他们正在与自己生活中的问题作斗争。
They're thinking about quitting, so they're projecting those negative feelings onto you.
他们想要放弃，所以他们将这些负面情绪投射到了你身上。
Even if they aren't lying to you on purpose, projection makes it difficult to trust the advice your friends are giving you.
即便他们不是故意对你撒谎，投射会让你难以信任朋友给你建议。
And 8. They're just too different.
8. 他们只是太不一样了。
In a 2002 study, Debruyne found that similarity creates trust, in other words, you trust people who are similar to you.
在2002年的一项研究中，Debruyne发现，相似性创造信任，换句话说，你信任和你相似的人。
Why? Because we believe similar people understand us better. We assume that they know how we feel, so we trust them with fragile information.
为什么？因为我们认为相似的人能更好地理解我们。我们认为，他们知道我们的感受，所以我们信任他们，把最脆弱的信息告诉他们。
Someone who's really different may not understand the way you think, so they're less likely to preserve your trust.
真正和我们不同的人可能不理解你的思维方式，所以他们不太可能保持你的信任。
When someone has betrayed you, it's difficult to ever trust someone again.
当有人曾背叛了你，就很难再次相信别人。
Those feelings of bitterness and betrayal can haunt you for years and years. So how do you know when you've met someone you can trust?
痛苦和背叛的感觉会困扰你很多年。那么你怎么知道你遇上的人值得你的信任呢？
Dependable friends and partners should be there when you need them. They should open up to you and they should empathize with you
可靠的朋友和伴侣应该在你需要的时候陪伴你。他们应该对你敞开心扉同情你
and most of all, they should trust you as much as you trust them.
更重要的是，他们应该像你信任他们一样信任你。
There are trustworthy people in the world, so don't lose hope and don't close yourself off.
世界上有值得信任的人，所以不要失去希望，不要封闭自己。
Do you know anyone who displays more than four of these signs explained in this video?
你知道有谁表现出超过四种以上的这些迹象吗？
Tell us about your experiences in the comments section below.
请在下方评论告知你的经历。
Don't forget to click like and subscribe for more psychology content and as always, thanks for watching.
不要忘记点赞，并订阅我们频道获取更多心理学内容，一如既往，感谢收看。
