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It seems to me that in order to be civil, you do have to follow a certain set of basic rules about human dialogue and discourse.
在我看来 要想有文明 你必须遵守一套关于人类对话和话语的基本规则
So if you begin with a statement, and I say, "You're a blankety-blank", that's not going to further the discussion.
如果你先表达一个观点 然后我说“你这个混蛋” 这样根本就无法展开讨论
It's probably going to end it.
这场对话可能就结束了
A more civil response would go something like this: "You know, that's interesting.
一种更加文明的回应是 “这还挺有意思的
That's not the way I see it.
我觉得不是这样
Tell me more about why you think that."
跟我说说你为什么是那么认为的”
So civility, for me, connotes the rules of decent and polite behavior That we need to follow in order to have a reasonable discussion and disagreement.
所以 在我看来 文明意味着得体和礼貌行为的规则 我们需要遵守这些规则 以便进行合理的讨论和争论
Another really interesting one is just to say, "Listen, I just want to tell you that I see this differently.
另一种比较有趣的回应是“听着 我只想告诉你我有不同的看法
And I'd like to share that with you to see what you think."
我愿意跟你分享一下 看你有何高见”
That is prefacing it by saying, acknowledging right off the bat, that you see things differently and asking the person to react to what you're saying.
这种方式就是提前立即承认你有不同的见解 并问问别人对你所说的话有何意见
Something else I've seen that I think works really well is, "You know, I think we come at this from different places.
我还见过另一种比较有效的方式是说“我觉得我们的看法不大一样
Would you like to talk more about it?"
你愿意多谈谈吗？”
Just ask the person, because sometimes the answer is going to be "No".
要问问别人 有时候人家会说“不”
I would say other important rules, for me, are don't be afraid of emotion but don't mistake it for argument.
我觉得其他重要的原则就是 不要害怕别人有情绪 但也不要误把这种情绪当成争吵
There's nothing wrong with being emotional.
有情绪并不是什么错事
Frankly, I would say at this moment in political history, if you're not emotional about something, you may be a sociopath.
坦白来说 此刻在政治史上 如果你对任何事都没有感情 你可能是个反社会者
I mean, it's an emotional time.
我是说 这是个情绪化的时代
It's a brittle, a troubled, and emotional moment, so it's fine to be emotional.
这是个易怒、动乱和情绪化的时代 所以有情绪很正常
But don't confuse emotion and argument.
但不要把情绪和争吵混为一谈
The depth with which you feel something is not an indice of its strength as an argument.
你对某事的理解深度并不是你以之进行争吵的理由
All the worst and most awful bigoted, racist, hateful people in history have felt what they felt very deeply.
历史上所有最糟糕、最可怕、最顽固、最种族主义、最可恨的人都有过非常深刻的感受
But the depth of their feeling shouldn't be seen in any way as an indice of its truth.
但无论如何 他们深刻的感受也不该被当做事实
So it's fine to have deep feelings and emotions.
所以有深刻的感受和情绪很正常
I do.
我就有这些情绪
But don't mistake them for argument.
但不要把它们错当成争吵
