评论
打印
It's fantasy suite week on The Bachelor.
本周是《单身汉》的梦幻套房周
This is the time of the year when The Bachelor has the opportunity to take his final three concubines on a test drive of sorts.
每年的这个时候 “单身汉”都有机会带着他最后留下的三个小妾试驾
My pick to win it all this season Hannah Ann was the first to partake in the sweet suite fantasy.
这一季的冠军我支持汉娜·安 她是第一个参加甜蜜的梦幻套房的
what is going on? Are they having sex or being murdered with poison gas?
怎么了呢？他们在性交还是煤气中毒了呢？
A lot of the drama tonight was focused on Madison.
今晚的很多剧情都集中在麦迪逊身上
Now, Madison is one of the contestants. She revealed to Peter that she's a virgin. She's saving herself for marriage.
麦迪逊现在是选手之一 她向彼得透露自己还是个处儿 她要把处子之身留到结婚
Peter, we learned in the windmill last year, is not saving himself for marriage.
彼得 从去年的“风车门”事件我们就知道 他的处男之身已经荡然无存
But Madison warned that if Peter did it with any of the two remaining women she would leave the show.
但是麦迪逊警告说 如果彼得和剩下的两个女人中的任何一个发生关系 那么她就不会继续参加节目了
So Peter had to tell Madison, uh, I did it with both of the remaining women.
所以彼得不得不告诉麦迪逊：我和那两个女人该发生的都发生了
"I--I have been intimate. And I can't lie to you about that."
我~我已经不是处男了 这种事我不能骗你
Can't lie. Because it's all on camera! I can't lie.
不能瞒着 因为到处都是镜头 “我不能骗你”
Because if something were to happen we would be watching this.
因为一旦发生什么事 观众都能看到
But that was nothing compared--Peter's mother provided what--I don't know where this came from
但是这跟——彼得母亲的反应——相比简直小巫见大巫 我不知道这是谁发出来的
but this might be the most dramatic teaser moment in bachelor history.
但这大概就是《单身汉》史上最具戏剧性的扯犊子时刻了
Don't let her go.
别让她走
That's what love stories are made out of.
爱情故事都是这样发展的
Bring her home. Bring her home to us.
把她带回家 带她来家里见我们
My god! What are they going to do, eat her?
我的天哪！你们想干嘛？吃掉她吗？
We need her life force, Peter. Bring mommy an offering.
我们需要她活着彼得 给妈妈置办其它祭品吧
She met this woman once. This is--
她只见了这位老母亲一次 这是怎么了~
and as if that wasn't enough, we learned tonight there could be another version of The Bachelor in the works.
好像还不够看 我们今晚得知还有另一个版本的《单身汉》正在制作当中
Looking for love in your golden years?
你想在流金岁月里寻找真爱吗？
We're looking for eligible seniors who want their shot at love.
我们正在寻找想要体验“爱的触动”的符合资质的老年人
We are? Why? Really?
是吗？有这种事？认真的吗？
Bachelor in Hospice. This fall on ABC.
《收容所里的单身汉》节目 今年秋季在ABC电台播出
I'll tell you this. I am not going to be a bachelor contestant when I get older.
我要跟你说 我老的时候不会当一名单身汉
When I am in my golden years, future me and future Guillermo,
未来的我和未来的吉列尔莫 会在我们的流金岁月里
we will be focused on trying to help our remaining living fans figure out how to spend their social security checks.
集中精力帮助我们尚未脱粉的的粉丝解决“如何使用社保支票”的困难
The following is a paid advertisement for Medi-meals.
下面播放“医疗餐”的付费广告
Hello. I'm former talk show host and partially recovered gambling addict Jimmy Kimmel.
大家好 我曾是脱口秀主持人 也曾是赌徒吉米·坎摩尔
As an old person I take a lot of pills.
作为一名老人 我要吃很多药
But pills can be so hard to swallow.
但是药丸难以下咽
If only there was an easier way to get that medicine down.
要是能有一种更简单的方法吃药就好了
Now there is. Medi-meals.
是的 就是它 医疗餐
Medi-meals are microwavable dinners jam-packed with all the doctor-prescribed medications you need to not die.
“医疗餐”是用微波炉加热的餐 里面全是医生为你开的续命药
Every week a cooler of Medi-meals is delivered directly to your door.
每周都会有一个保鲜的“医疗餐”直接到达你家门口
Medi-meals come in a variety of delicious and prescriptious options including
医疗餐包含多种美味食物 还有多种处方选择 比如：
Klono-Penne Pasta, Three Cheese RaViagra, Chicken ParmesAmbien, Oxycordon Bleu and so many more.
克朗尼尖管面、三只奶酪瑞威艾格、鸡肉庞莫冉卞、氧可酮奶酪 还有其它很多种类
When it's time to medicate simply pop your meal in the microwave, set the timer for 3 minutes and 30 minutes later,
该吃药的时候 把你的饭放进微波炉里 时间先设定为3分钟 然后再设定为30分钟
voila, time to munch away those aches and pains.
好了 是时候咀嚼掉所有的疼痛和痛苦了
"Mm.~~~Just like my dead wife used to make!"
嗯哼~~简直和我逝去的妻子做的味道一毛一样
Who makes Medi-meals? Doctors? Chefs? That's the best part.
那么 谁是“医疗餐”的制作者呢？医生？厨师？这才是重点
No one knows.
但是 无人知晓
To order a trial subscription of Medi-meals call the number on your screen.
订购“医疗餐”试用套餐请拨打屏幕上面的电话。
Medi-meals, air grows.
吃医疗餐 让呼吸更顺畅
