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Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of the day Donald Trump was elected president of the United States,
明天是特朗普当选美国总统的三周年纪念日，
and it's been smooth sailing ever since.
自那时以来还算顺利。
Trump plans to celebrate his anniversary tomorrow by playing golf
特朗普计划明天庆祝这个纪念日，活动包括打高尔夫，
and then making love to an overcooked steak with ketchup on it.
品尝过分烹饪的牛排，上面加番茄酱。
This is kind of interesting, you know how the president has the best words, uses all the best words?
这有点有趣，你知道总统最喜欢的一些措辞吗？
Well, he's in Monroe, Louisiana last night,
他昨天晚上在路易斯安娜州的门罗，
where he treated the crowd to what seems to have become his new favorite word that is not a word.
他对观众发表讲话时，用了一个新的喜欢的词语，但这个词并不存在。
Mueller, remember that Mueller, with that hoax.
穆勒，记得穆勒吗？穆勒调查就是一个骗局。
the biggest lie ever foistered upon the American people.
这是曾经强加给(foister)美国人民的一个最大的谎言。
Foistered. And he wasn’t just like a slipped tongue.
他说的是foistered，不像是口误。
Because he did it again on Tuesday in Lexington.
因为他周二在列克星顿时又说了这个词。
The most egregious fraud ever foistered.
这是强加的(foistered)最糟糕的骗局。
And Friday in Tupelo.
他周五在图珀洛时也说了这个词。
The single greatest lies ever foistered.
强加(foister)的一个最大的谎言。
Used the word foister three times in a week.
一周内三次使用foister一词。
It's a combination of foisted and forced,
这个词包括了强加和强迫两个单词，
which also happen to be his two favorite ways to meet women.
这也是特朗普见到女人时最喜欢采用的两种方式。
So..., thank you!
所以...谢谢！
The Washington Post had a story this morning, and the president went “Washington Post was over”.
《华盛顿邮报》今天早上刊登了一篇文章，特朗普说，《华盛顿邮报》完了。
The story said Trump asked the Attoney General William Barr to hold a televised press conference
文章说，特朗普要求司法部长威廉·巴尔举行电视发布会，
to declare that the president had broken no laws as pertaining to this Ukraine thing,
宣布总统没有违反与乌克兰事件相关的任何法律，
and proclaim this innocence for him.
并宣布他是无辜的。
Barr said no, and Trump is now saying that didn't happen.
巴尔拒绝了，特朗普现在说，没有这事。
In a series of rage tweets this morning, he wrote, a fake Washington Post con job.
他在今天早晨发布的一系列愤怒的推特中写到，虚假的《华盛顿邮报》骗局。
Totally untrue, just another fake news story, lowlife reporters, pure fiction from a garbage newspaper.
完全不真实，不过是又一篇假新闻，底层的记者，完全是一家垃圾报纸的捏造。
He said this never happened and there were no sources, which means it definitely happened and there are multiple sources.
他说，这绝对没有发生过，没有来源，这句话的意思就是说，事情的确发生过，有多个来源。
Might be question is, does he ever do any actually like president work?
可能的问题是，他是否尽过总统的职责。
It seems, or is it all just rallies and tweets now.
他现在似乎只参加集会、发推特。
Seriously, when is the last time you heard about trump doing something that wasn't related to him getting impeached?
严肃地说，你上次听说特朗普做与弹劾自己无关的事情是什么时候？
I think it happened three times this year,
我想，这种事情在今年发生了三次,
the president also complained that media outlets don't use fact checkers anymore,
特朗普还抱怨称，媒体机构不再使用事实核实者，
they just write whatever they want, which,that's...
他们只是随心所欲地写，那...
Donald Trump claiming the media doesn't fact check is like R. Kelly calling Chris Brown a creep. It's really.
特朗普宣称，媒体不做事实核实就像R. Kelly说克里斯·布朗是个马屁精，真的。
By all means, let's start checking facts and tax returns.
总之，让我们开始核实事实和税务申报单。
By the way, it isn’t the first president to hate the Washington Post,
顺便说一句，这不是首位痛恨《华盛顿邮报》的总统，
you know who else wasn't a fan? this guy.
你们知道谁还不喜欢《华盛顿邮报》吗？这个家伙。
No reporter from the Washington Post is ever to be in the White House again,
不要再让《华盛顿邮报》的人到白宫里来，
and no photographer, either. No photographer, is that clear?
也不要让他们的摄影师来这里，摄影师也不许来，清楚了吗？
Yes, sir.
好的。
None, ever. The end.
一个也不允许，就这样。
You know, poor Richard Nixon. I think about it today,
可怜的尼克松，我今天想了一下，
he didn't have a Fox news.
他没有福克斯新闻。
he didn't have a Sean Hannity going water gate, more like water great to get him to sleep.
他没有Sean Hannity来聊水门事件，领会错误的意思才更可能让他安心。
You know? he had nothing.
你知道吗，他什么都没有。
this morning, another transcript from yet another senior government official was released,
今天早上，另一位政府高级官员的证词被披露，
this one said there was a quid pro quo with Ukraine,
证词称，存在与乌克兰的利益交换，
and there was testimony from an aide to Mike Pence who was listening in on that perfect phone call Trump made.
还有一份副总统彭斯副手的证词，她听到了那通电话。
and she said she found it to be unusual, and was concerned about what she heard.
她说，她觉得这不同寻常，对于她所听到的，她感到担忧。
the democrats are not wasting anytime with this,
民主党人很快就抓住了这一点，
the house is on track to vote on it by Christmas, which I don't know,
众议员将在圣诞节之前就弹劾特朗普举行投票，我不知道，
why not do it on Christmas? You know? Impeach him on Christmas,
为什么不在圣诞节这天投票，在圣诞节这天弹劾特朗普。
that way we could start a new tradition of re-watching that every year, instead of Rudolph or something.
这样的话，我们就有一个新传统，每年都可以回顾圣诞节弹劾了特朗普，而不是拉雪橇的驯鹿鲁道夫，
Trump is on his way now to becoming the third president to be impeached.
特朗普即将成为将被弹劾的第三位总统，
If he is, he'll face a trial in the senate and the possibility he could be removed from office.
如果被弹劾，他将面临参议院的审查，他有可能被罢免总统职务。
And it's all because, and it's really because he asked another country to dig up dirt that didn't exist.
这一切的原因是，他要求另一个国家揭露并不存在的丑闻。
the Ukrainians, they didn't have any evidence of wrongdoing by the Bidens.
乌克兰并未掌握拜登家族不当行为的任何证据。
he wanted them to look into something there wasn't to look into.
特朗普希望乌克兰调查并不存在的丑闻，
even Trump's former special envoy said the accusations weren't credible.
即便是特朗普此前的特使也说，指控并不可信。
Basically, Trump tried to pull off a heist on a casino that had no money in it.
可以说，特朗普试图抢劫一个没有赌现金的赌场，
You know, like a Trump casino for instance.
就像特朗普自己的赌场一样。
今天更糟糕的事情是，
The Daily Beast is reporting that, according to multiple sources, trump keeps in touch with Mark Burr,
《Daily Beast》报道称，根据多个消息源，特朗普联系了马克·布尔，
the TV producer and is discussing a new version of the Apprentice for when he leaves office,
后者是一个节目制作人，他们讨论在特朗普下台后制作新的《学徒》，
In this one he'll be in prison.
在新的节目中，特朗普将呆在监狱里面。
It's called the Penitentiary. And I think it is going to be great.
节目的名字叫《禁闭》，我想，这个节目应该非常不错。
A new Trump tell-all book on the way wrote anonymously by the senior White House official
一名白宫高级官员匿名揭露特朗普政府内幕的书即将出版，
who wrote that infamous op-ed in New York Times,
这个人之前在《纽约时报》上写了那篇臭名昭著的内幕文章，
it’s called A Warning, and according to A Warning, Trump was so unhinged after he fired Jim Comey,
书的名字是《一个警告》，书中说，特朗普在解雇联邦调查局局长科米后变得精神错乱，
senior White House official discussed which cabinet members would support invoking the 25th Amendment.
白宫高级官员们讨论，哪位政府官员将支持启动罢免总统的宪法修正案第25条？
That’s the memo they remove the president by deeming him unfitful for office.
这条修正案可以在当总统被认为不适合任职时予以弹劾。
the book said there was no doubt among senior officials that
这本书说，毫无疑问，在高级官员中，
Mike Pence would support removing Trump from the White House.
副总统彭斯将支持罢免特朗普。
Well, could you imagine that conversation?
你们能想像这个对话吗？
I can see Mike Pence yelling 25th Amendment and running as fast as he can.
我可以想像副总统彭斯喊着“修正案第25条”，同时尽可能快地奔跑。
Today the vice poodle was asked if there was any truth to the story,
今天，副总统被问到这件事的真实性，
and you could never believe this, he said there isn't.
你无法相信，他说不是真的。
A spokeswoman for your office is denying a claim that a upcoming anonymous tell-all book that
你办公室的一名发言人否认了一本即将出版的匿名披露白宫内幕的书中的一个说法：
you considered using the 25th Amendment to remove the president Trump from office.
你考虑使用宪法修正案第25条罢免总统特朗普，
I'd like to get it from the horse's mouth and whether...
我想从你本人口中打听，是否有这回事？
You know when those rumors came out a few years ago I dismissed them then.
你知道，当这些谣言在数年前出现时，我那时就否认了。
I never heard any discussion in my entire tenure as vice president about the 25th Amendment.
我在作为副总统的任期内从未听过关于宪法修正案第25条的任何讨论。
and why would I?
我怎么会听到？
Well, I don't know, maybe because of this?
好吧，我不知道，可能是因为这个。
Kanye West gets it, he gots it.
Kanye West做到了，他做到了。
He gots it. I mean, if Kanye gots it, anyway...
他做到了，我的意思是，如果Kanye做到了，总之...
The White House, I don't know, between the writer of this anonymous book and trying to smokeout this whistle blower,
对于匿名书籍的作者，以及试图将揭秘者公之于众，我不知道白宫里面现在的情况怎么样，
the White House must be a very tense place right now.
白宫里面现在的气氛肯定非常紧张。
It's like a game of clue, except in this version Colonel Mustard is in the bedroom with a bucket of chicken.
就像寻找线索的游戏，不同的是，在目前的形势下，特朗普正在卧室吃快餐。
And as there is another going on
同时还有另一件事，
today a court in New York ordered Donald Trump to pay $2 million penalty for running a fraudary foundation,
今天纽约一家法院命令特朗普为一个欺诈基金支付200万美元罚款，
the Trump Foundation that had to donate $2 million to charity which if he pays as he required to,
如果特朗普按照要求出钱，
will bring his total lifetime charitable contributions to $2 million.
那么这个特朗普基金的捐赠将会让他一生的慈善捐赠达到200万美元。
Trump is moving out of New York, by the way,
顺便说一句，特朗普正计划将居住地址从纽约迁到别处，
he decided to change his residency from New York to Palm Beach, Florida where he owns Mar-a-lago.
他决定将居住地址从纽约迁到他位于佛罗里达棕榈滩的海湖庄园，
And as is usually the case, team Trump is exploring this move by turning it into a product
像通常一样，特朗普团队希望让这个变更成为一个产品，
that they hope will be the must-have toy this holiday season.
他们希望海湖庄园成为这个假日季的必备玩具。
Beautiful, sprawling Mar-a-lago resort, the winter White House,
美丽、幅员辽阔的海湖庄园，这是冬天的白宫，
and the president's new permanent address.
也是总统新的永久居住地址。
Whoa!
哇！
Now you can build your own winter White House!
现在你可以建造自己的白宫！
Awesome!
太棒了！
Mar-a-Lego.
海湖庄园。
you'll have hours of fun.
你将在几个小时的时间里都充满乐趣。
I built a golf course.
我建一个高尔夫球场。
Ah, his hands are so tiny and cute.
啊，他的手太小，太可爱了。
Hold a secret summit with Vladimir Putin.
和普京举行一场秘密的峰会。
I love you, Vlad.
我爱你，普京。
Hunt for meals with elegant Donald Jr.,
和特朗普家族的小孩一起打猎，
There! There! Nice shot!
那里！那里！枪法不错。
Rescue Melania from her prison tower.
把第一夫人梅拉尼娅从监禁她的城堡里救出来。
Help me, I don't want to be here.
快救我，我不想呆在这里。
Wire the Ukrainian president.
给乌克兰总统打个电话。
Please, don’t hold our military aid.
求你了，别阻止军事援助。
Then give me some dirt on Biden.
那么你需要往拜登身上泼粪。
And keep the president out of trouble.
别让总统陷入麻烦。
Oh, no! Deploy the...
噢，不！快部署武力。
No quid pro quo!
没有利益交换！
We must find the whistle-blower.
我们必须找出揭密者。
Mar-a-Lego, from the makers of Maga Doodle.
海湖庄园由Maga Doodle的制造商生产。
Draw you tax returns, then watch them disappear.
写下你的纳税申报单，然后看着它们消失。
Donald's dream jail sold separately.
特朗普梦想的监狱单独出售，
Available at Walgreens.
Walgreens上正在销售。
