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There are lots of legitimate reasons to worry about getting older,
人们担心变老有很多合情合理的原因
like getting sick and running out of money, ending up alone.
比如生病、耗尽钱财、孤独终老
Those fears are legitimate and real.
这些担忧合理合法并且真实存在
But the thing is, we need to think about how the culture in which we age shapes those experiences.
但问题是 我们要想想现在的变老文化对这些经历有何影响
I'm not a Pollyanna about aging.
关于老去 我并不是个盲目乐观的人
I'm sort of in the 'both sides of the story' business.
我能看到它的两面性
We hear only the downside.
但我们听到的却只有变老的弊端
And we hear very little about all the positive aspects of aging,
我们很少听说变老有什么好处
which are that we grow more confident, we grow happier.
但其实我们会变得更自信 更幸福
When I started thinking about all this, my view of old age was unrelievedly grim.
以前我想到这些的时候 就会觉得变老真的很凄惨
And one of the things I stumbled upon really early was the U-curve of happiness.
后来我无意间发现了关于幸福的U型曲线
And when I first encountered it, seriously I thought they must have cornered two 80 year olds,
第一次接触到它的时候 我真的觉得他们一定是逼着两个80岁的老人
and given them a cookie, and said 'How are you doing?'
给他们一块饼干 问他们“你感觉怎么样？”
The U-curve shows that people are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of our lives,
幸福U型曲线表明 人们在生命伊始和接近终端的时候是最幸福的
that midlife, the famous midlife crisis, is indeed the trough of our satisfaction.
中年时期 著名的中年危机 其实是我们幸福指数的低谷期
And this is true for a couple of reasons.
这是有很多原因的
Midlife is the time of life when typically we have maximum family responsibilities.
中年时期 我们的家庭责任最重
We're supposed to be crushing it in our careers.
我们的事业应该要达到巅峰
We may have responsibility for people both older and younger than us.
我们上有老下有小要照顾
And it's also the time of life where we realize, gee, I may not become a ballerina, I may not hike Mt. Everest.
也是在中年时期 我们意识到 天哪 我可能当不了芭蕾舞星 我登不上珠穆朗玛峰
And those are sobering reflections, that maybe now,
那些都是很清醒的自我认知 也许现在
you're at a turning point, and there's more road behind you than ahead.
你正处于一个转折点 你已经走过了人生的大半段旅程
But something happens as we get older, especially up into our 80s.
但变老的时候也会发生一些变化 尤其是在八十多岁的时候
And it is the exact opposite of an ageist thought that I started out with.
这与我一开始歧视年龄的想法截然相反
I thought, well, obviously, everything about getting older is going to suck.
以前的我总认为 变老真的一无是处 糟糕透了
And one of the things that clearly sucks about it is the proximity to death.
其中一点让人很不爽的就是我们在靠近死亡
I envisioned, I literally envisioned the shadow of the grim reaper stretching over this sad iron bedstead.
我预想到 我真的能预想到死神的阴影就在那张凄凉的铁床边徘徊
The awareness that time is short does not fill people with dread.
意识到时光短暂并不会让人们充满恐惧
It doesn't work that way neurologically.
在神经学上它不是这么运作的
That was another assumption of mine.
那是我的另一种假设
The knowledge that time is short helps people live in the moment,
意识到时光短暂能让人们活在当下
because they are more conscious about what they want to do with their time and who they want to spend it with.
因为他们会更清楚自己想用剩下的时间做什么 陪什么人
Kids live in the moment because they aren't neurologically equipped to do anything else.
孩子们只活在当下 是因为他们的神经还没有准备好规划未来
And olders do it because precisely they are aware that time is short
老人活在当下 是因为他们很清楚光阴飞逝
and they want to make the most of the remaining time.
他们想充分利用剩下的时光
It's why the older people are, the less they worry about dying.
所以人越老 就越不担心死亡
They don't want to die.
他们不想死去
And they especially don't want to die in pain.
尤其是不想痛苦地死去
But they don't worry about it.
但他们也并不担心
And they think younger people worry too much about both the dying and the getting there.
他们觉得年轻人过度担心死亡 也过度担心变老
