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Welcome to The Tonight Show, everybody. Thank you so much for being here.
欢迎来到今夜秀现场，朋友们，谢谢你们的到来。
It's a good show tonight. Great show tonight. Chris Hemsworth is here. Yeah!
今晚的节目很精彩，非常棒，克里斯·海姆斯沃斯做客节目，没错。
The Jonas Brothers are here! I love those guys. I love Chris Hemsworth, too.
乔纳斯兄弟也将来到节目，我喜欢这帮伙计，我也喜欢克里斯·海姆斯沃斯。
When I talk to him, it's like I'm looking in a mirror. Really? Yeah. That's how I feel.
当我和他说话时，好似我在看着一面镜子，真的吗？没错，这是我的感受。
You guys, everybody is excited about the World Cup and the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team.
朋友们，所有人都对世界杯和美国女足兴奋不已。
Did you see that? Whoa! That game was amazing. They beat Thailand, 13-0.
你们看了吗？哦哦，比赛很精彩，他们13比0击败了泰国。
People in Thailand were like, How could you do this after we made your uniforms?
泰国人民说，我们制造了你的球衣，你们怎么能如此对我？
You know... You got to feel for Thailand, though. It's a tough way to start the tournament.
你知道...你应该同情泰国，以这样来开始世界杯确实很艰难。
It's the worst thing to happen to a Thai soccer team that didn't involve getting trapped in a cave. And...
这只泰国足球队没有被困在洞穴中，那真的是最糟糕的事情...
Guys, millions of people tuned in to watch the women's team, and down in Miami,
朋友们，数百万人观看了女足比赛，而在迈阿密，
a bar offered a special promotion to get people to come watch the game with them.
一间酒吧为那些和他们一起看球的顾客提供了优惠。
But, in hindsight, I'm not sure it was such a good idea. Watch this.
但事后，我不认为这是个好主意，看看。
American Social..that's the name of the bar... offered free shots for every U.S.A. goal. Oopsies.
这家酒吧的名字是“美国社会”，每一次女足进球他们都将提供免费酒，哦哦。
13 goals. Oh, my gosh. Then the Thailand goalie...Thailand's goalie was like, What's the big deal?
13个进球，老天啊，泰国守门员，泰国守门员好似，有什么大不了的？
I did a shot after every goal, too. We're keeping up with each other. Forget Thailand.
每进一球我就喝一杯，我赶上了你的步伐，忘记泰国。
The real loser yesterday was every Uber driver in Miami. I mean, please. Let's get to some political news.
昨天真正的失败者是迈阿密的每一名“优步”司机，好吧，来看看政治新闻。
Today, everybody is talking about a new national poll that just came out that shows how President Trump would do against the top Democrats.
今天，所有人都在谈论一个刚刚出来的全国民调，显示了小特和一些排名前几的民主党趋势。
Take a look at this. Yeah, Trump's behind everybody. Actually, I just heard right now he's even losing to the Thailand women's soccer team.
来看看，没错，小特其实落后于所有人，我刚刚听说他甚至输给了泰国女足。
Really? Really? Unbelievable. But it's true. Everybody is already talking about these polls,
真的吗？真的吗？难以置信，但这是真的，所有人都在谈论这些民调，
and as we all know from the past, polls do a great job predicting what really happens.
从之前的民调可知，民调可以更好地预测事情的发展。
Clinton is leading Donald Trump, nationally, by 9 points, 52-43.
克林顿在全国范围内以9个点领先小特，52比43。
Yeah, so if you want to know how much these polls matter, just ask President Hillary Clinton.
没错，如果你想知道这些民调到底有多重要，那就问问希拉里吧。
So you'll see. Yes. These polls matter. Well, meantime, out on the campaign trail,
你会知道的，没错，这些民调很重要，同时在竞选之路上，
Joe Biden and Trump have been trading insults all week. Trump's been saying that Biden is too old to be president.
拜登和小特一整周都在相互抨击，小特一直在说拜登太老了，当不了总统了。
Well, reporters asked Biden about his age and stamina. Check out how he responded.
好吧，记者问关于年龄和体能询问拜登，来听听他的回答。
There's been a lot of questions about your schedule and that it's been a little lighter than some of the other candidates.
关于你的拉票时间安排有许多问题，认为你的时间表不是很紧凑...相比于其他竞选人。
Look at him and look at me and answer the question. A Biden staffer was like, Okay, whose turn is it to remind him about personal space?
看看他再看看我，然后回答问题，一名拜登工作人员说，接下来到谁来提醒他个人空间问题？
Okay. Your turn? My turn? Can we hear Biden's voice again? Look at him and look at me and answer the question.
好吧，到你了？我？我们能再听听他是怎么说的吗？看看他再看看我，然后回答问题。
Is he trying to become president or Batman? I'm Biden. I'm Biden.
他是想成为总统还是蝙蝠侠？我是拜登，我是拜登。
Well, between now and the election, there is still a lot to keep the president busy.
从现在到选举，还有许多让总统繁忙的事情。
Today, I saw that Trump met with the president of Poland in the Oval Office,
听说小特今天在总统办公室会见了波兰总统，
and Trump talked about his speech that he gave last time he went to Poland. Take a look.
小特谈论到了他最后一次去波兰的演讲，看看。
I could say it, but I don't want to say it. But some people said it was the best speech ever made by a president in Europe.
我可以说，但是我不想说，但许多人说那是总统在欧洲发表的最棒的演讲。
But I did not say that. I'm just quoting other people. Oh, God. Oh, goodness.
但我不这么认为，我只是引用了别人的话，老天，上帝啊。
He was like, Now, look, you know me. I would never brag about myself. I'm just a very successful, long-fingered billionaire.
他好似在说，你们现在看看我，我从来不会炫耀自己，我只是一名非常成功的长指亿万富翁。
But in that meeting, Trump said that he's sending more troops to Poland.
但在那次会议上，小特说他将向波兰输送更多军队。
And get this..the Polish president actually said that they should call the U.S. base Fort Trump.
听听这个，波兰总统实际上说，他们应该称美军基地为“特朗普堡”。
But Trump said no, because that's the name of the blankets stretched across between two couches in the Oval Office.
但小特说不，因为那是总统办公室两个沙发下面的毯子的名字。
I saw that Trump's also been talking with France lately. French President Emmanuel Macron sent him a new friendship tree,
听说小特近日一直在和法国交谈，法国总统马克龙送给了他一棵新的友谊树，
after the one that they planted together died. For this tree, Macron also sent a note that said... We have a great show tonight.
之前他们一起种的死了，为了这棵树，马克龙还附上便签，说我们今晚的节目很精彩。
