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Hello. I'd like to show you guys 30 seconds of the best day of my life.
哈喽。我想先让大家看一段三十秒的影片，这是我人生中最棒的一天。
So that was El Capitan in California's Yosemite National Park, and in case you couldn't tell,
那是加州优胜美地国家公园的“酋长岩”，以防你们看不出来，
I was climbing by myself without a rope, a style of a climbing known as free soloing.
我是独自攀爬，并且没有用绳索，这种攀爬方式称为“自由独攀”。
That was the culmination of a nearly decade-long dream, and in the video I'm over 2,500 feet off the ground.
那是我近十年梦想的巅峰结晶，影片中的我离地面超过两千五百英尺。
Seems scary? Yeah, it is, which is why I spent so many years dreaming about soloing El Cap and not actually doing it.
似乎很可怕？的确，这就是为什么我梦想要独攀酋长岩这么多年，却一直没有行动。
But on the day that that video was taken, it didn't feel scary at all.
但在拍摄那支影片的那一天，我一点都不觉得害怕。
It felt as comfortable and natural as a walk in the park, which is what most folks were doing in Yosemite that day.
感觉就像在公园散步一样舒服自然，那天在优胜美地大部分人也的确只是在公园散步。
Today I'd like to talk about how I was able to feel so comfortable and how I overcame my fear.
今天，我想要谈谈我怎么能够感到这么舒服，以及我是如何克服恐惧的。
I'll start with a very brief version of how I became a climber,
我会先简短说明我如何变成攀岩者，
and then tell the story of my two most significant free solos.
接下来说的故事则是我近期两次最重要的自由独攀。
They were both successful, which is why I'm here.
两次都很成功，这就是为什么我能在这里。
But the first felt largely unsatisfying, whereas the second, El Cap, was by far the most fulfilling day of my life.
但第一次感觉非常不满足，而第二次，爬酋长岩，是我人生目前为止最满足的一天。
Through these two climbs, you'll see my process for managing fear.
通过这两次攀爬，你们可以了解我管理恐惧的过程。
So I started climbing in a gym when I was around 10 years old,
我在大约十岁时就开始在健身房中攀岩，
which means that my life has been centered on climbing for more than 20 years.
也就是说二十多年来我的生活一直以攀岩为中心。
After nearly a decade of climbing mostly indoors, I made the transition to the outdoors and gradually started free soloing.
近十年的时间，我多半是在室内攀爬，之后，我转向户外，渐渐开始了自由独攀。我好像在购物中心里。
I built up my comfort over time and slowly took on bigger and more challenging walls.
随着时间的发展，我建立起舒适感，慢慢地开始尝试更大、更有挑战性的山壁。
And there have been many free soloists before me, so I had plenty of inspiration to draw from.
在我之前已有许多自由独攀者，有很多人可以当鼓舞我的榜样。
But by 2008, I'd repeated most of their previous solos in Yosemite and was starting to imagine breaking into new terrain.
到2008年，我已爬过大部分他们过去独攀过的优胜美地路线，我开始想象攀爬新的地形。
The obvious first choice was Half Dome, an iconic 2,000-foot wall the lords over the east end of the valley.
很明显的第一选择就是半圆丘，它是个代表性的两千英尺山壁，称霸在山谷的东侧。
The problem, though also the allure, was that it was too big.
它的问题，也是它的魅力所在，就是它太大了。
I didn't really know how to prepare for a potential free solo.
我不知道要如何为一趟潜在的自由独攀行程做准备。
So I decided to skip the preparations and just go up there and have an adventure.
所以我决定跳过准备阶段，直接上去冒险。
I figured I would rise to the occasion, which, unsurprisingly, was not the best strategy.
我觉得我可以迎接挑战，结果，并不意外，那并非最好的策略。
I did at least climb the route roped up with a friend two days
我至少有在两天前和一位朋友绑着绳索爬过那段路线，
before just to make sure that I knew roughly where to go and that I could physically do it.
只要确保我大致上知道方向，并且确保我在身体上能办得到。
But when I came back by myself two days later, I decided that I didn't want to go that way.
两天后我独自再次返回时，我决定不走那条路。
I knew that there was a 300-foot variation that circled around one of the hardest parts of the climb.
我知道有一条三百英尺的替代路线，它会绕过攀爬路线中最困难的部分。
I suddenly decided to skip the hard part and take the variation,
我突然决定要跳过困难的部分，选择走替代路线，
even though I'd never climbed it before, but I immediately began to doubt myself.
即使我以前没有爬过那条路，但我马上就开始自我怀疑了。
Imagine being by yourself in the dead center of a 2,000-foot face, wondering if you're lost.
想象你独自一人在两千英尺表面的正中心，纳闷你是否迷路了。
Thankfully, it was pretty much the right way and I circled back to the route.
谢天谢地，我大致上没走错路，我绕回了原来的路线。
I was slightly rattled, I was pretty rattled, but I tried not to let it bother me too much
我有点惊恐，我蛮惊恐的，但我试着不要让惊恐的感觉烦扰我，
because I knew that all the hardest climbing was up at the top. I needed to stay composed.
因为我知道攀爬最困难的部分是在顶端。我需要保持沉着。
It was a beautiful September morning, and as I climbed higher,
那是个美好的九月早晨，我越爬越高，
I could hear the sounds of tourists chatting and laughing on the summit.
我能听到顶峰上传来游客聊天说笑的声音。
They'd all hiked up the normal trail on the back, which I was planning on using for my descent.
他们都是从背后的正常小道步行上去的，我打算在下山时也要走那条小道。
But between me and the summit lay a blank slab of granite.
但在我和顶峰之间有着平平的花岗岩斜岩板。
There were no cracks or edges to hold on to, just small ripples of texture up a slightly less than vertical wall.
上面没有裂缝或是边缘可以抓，只有小小的涟漪纹理，在这近乎垂直的山壁上。
I had to trust my life to the friction between my climbing shoes and the smooth granite.
我把性命托付于攀登鞋和平滑花岗岩之间的磨擦力。
I carefully balanced my way upward, shifting my weight back and forth between the small smears.
我很小心地保持平衡向上爬，在每次小小的贴踩之间，前后移动我的重心。
But then I reached a foothold that I didn't quite trust.
但接着，我遇到了一个我不太信任的踩脚处。
Two days ago, I'd have just stepped right up on it, but that would have been with a rope on.
两天前，我可能就会直接踩上去了，但那是因为我有绑绳索。
Now it felt too small and too slippery. I doubted that my foot would stay on if I weighted it.
现在，那个踩脚处感觉太小又太滑。我怀疑当我把体重压上去脚还能不能踩得住。
I considered a foot further to the side, which seemed worse.
我考虑再向旁边一英尺的地方，但那里似乎更糟。
I switched my feet and tried a foot further out. It seemed even worse.
我交换了脚，试图再向外一英尺。那里似乎还要更糟。
I started to panic. I could hear people laughing on the summit just above me.
我开始慌了。我能听到人们的笑声从我上面的顶峰传来。
I wanted to be anywhere but on that slab. My mind was racing in every direction.
在任何地方，都比在这片斜岩板上好。我的脑袋转个不停。
I knew what I had to do, but I was too afraid to do it.
我知道我该怎么做，但我太害怕了不敢去做。
I just had to stand up on my right foot.
我只需要靠右脚站好。
And so after what felt like an eternity, I accepted what I had to do and I stood up on the right foot,
在经过一段彷佛是永恒的挣扎之后，我接受了我该做的事，我靠右脚站好了，
and it didn't slip, and so I didn't die, and that move marked the end of the hardest climbing.
结果没有打滑，所以我没有死，这段攀岩最困难的部分就到此告一段落。
And so I charged from there towards the summit.
从那里，我朝向顶峰挺进。
And so normally when you summit Half Dome, you have a rope and a bunch of climbing gear on you,
通常，当你登上半圆丘时，你身上会有一根绳索和一堆攀岩装备，
and tourists gasp and they flock around you for photos.
游客会惊讶地发出声音，围着你拍照。
This time I popped over the edge shirtless, panting, jacked.
这次，我砰一声翻过边缘，没穿上衣，气喘吁吁，肌肉贲张。
I was amped, but nobody batted an eye.
我很兴奋，但大家都面不改色。
I looked like a lost hiker that was too close to the edge.
我看起来像是个迷路的健行者，站得太靠近边缘。
I was surrounded by people talking on cell phones and having picnics. I felt like I was in a mall.
我身边围绕着人群，不是在讲手机就是在野餐。我感觉我就像在一个商场里。
I took off my tight climbing shoes and started hiking back down, and that's when people stopped me.
我脱下了我很紧的攀岩鞋，开始向下步行，此时有人叫住了我。
"You're hiking barefoot? That's so hard-core."
“你赤脚步行？真是硬汉。”
I didn't bother to explain, but that night in my climbing journal, I duly noted my free solo of Half Dome,
我也懒得解释，但那晚，我在我的攀岩日志中审慎记载了我的半圆丘自由独攀，
but I included a frowny face and a comment, "Do better?"
但我还画上了一个哭脸，加注“做更好？”
I'd succeeded in the solo and it was celebrated as a big first in climbing.
我的独攀成功了，它被当成重大的第一次攀爬来庆祝。
Some friends later made a film about it. But I was unsatisfied.
有些朋友后来为此制作了一支影片。但我不满足。
I was disappointed in my performance, because I knew that I had gotten away with something.
我对我的表现很失望，因为我知道我有侥幸之处。
I didn't want to be a lucky climber. I wanted to be a great climber.
我不想要当个幸运的攀岩者，我想要当个伟大的攀岩者。
I actually took the next year or so off from free soloing, because I knew that I shouldn't make a habit of relying on luck.
我休了一年多的假，没有去自由独攀，因为我知道我不应该养成依赖运气的习惯。
But even though I wasn't soloing very much, I'd already started to think about El Cap.
但即使我不常去独攀，我已经开始想着酋长岩了。
It was always in the back of my mind as the obvious crown jewel of solos.
我内心深处一直把它视为是独攀的至宝。
It's the most striking wall in the world.
它是世界上最惹人注目的山壁。
Each year, for the next seven years, I'd think, "This is the year that I'm going to solo El Cap."
接下来的七年，每一年我都会想：“今年我要去独攀酋长岩。”
And then I would drive into Yosemite, look up at the wall, and think, "No frickin' way."
接着，我会开车去优胜美地，抬头看着山壁，心想：“门都没有。”
It's too big and too scary. But eventually I came to accept that I wanted to test myself against El Cap.
它太大了，太骇人了。但最终，我渐渐接受我想要测试我自己对抗酋长岩的能耐。
It represented true mastery, but I needed it to feel different.
它代表着真正的征服，但我需要有不同的感觉。
I didn't want to get away with anything or barely squeak by. This time I wanted to do it right.
我并不想要有任何侥幸或是勉强过关。这次我想要把它做对。
The thing that makes El Cap so intimidating is the sheer scale of the wall.
酋长岩之所以令人生畏，完全是因为山壁的规模。
Most climbers take three to five days to ascend the 3,000 feet of vertical granite.
大部分的攀岩者要花三到五天来攀登三千英尺的垂直花岗岩。
The idea of setting out up a wall of that size with nothing but shoes and a chalk bag seemed impossible.
向上攀爬这么巨大的山壁，并且只有鞋子和一个攀岩粉袋，似乎是不可能的。
3,000 feet of climbing represents thousands of distinct hand and foot movements, which is a lot to remember.
攀爬三千英尺，就表示有数千个手和脚的移动动作，多到很难记住。
Many of the moves I knew through sheer repetition.
我会记住许多移动动作只是因为不断重复。
I'd climbed El Cap maybe 50 times over the previous decade with a rope.
过去十年，我用绳索爬过酋长岩大约五十次，
But this photo shows my preferred method of rehearsing the moves.
但这张照片呈现的是我偏好的排练动作方式。
I'm on the summit, about to rappel down the face with over a thousand feet of rope to spend the day practicing.
我在顶峰，准备用一千英尺的绳索向下爬，挑战这个表面，花一天的时间自己练习。
Once I found sequences that felt secure and repeatable, I had to memorize them.
一旦找到感觉很安全且可重复的顺序，我就得记住它们。
I had to make sure that they were so deeply ingrained within me that there was no possibility of error.
我得要确保它们都深深刻在我的脑海中，不能有任何失误的可能。
I didn't want to be wondering if I was going the right way or using the best holds.
我不想要纳闷我是否爬对方向、用到最好的洞。
I needed everything to feel automatic.
我得让一切都感觉像自动的一样。
Climbing with a rope is a largely physical effort.
用绳索攀爬，主要就是靠体力。
You just have to be strong enough to hold on and make the movements upward.
你只要够强壮可以抓稳并向上移动即可。
But free soloing plays out more in the mind. The physical effort is largely the same.
但自由独攀有更大一部分是在脑中。体力的需求大致上差不多。
Your body is still climbing the same wall.
你的身体还是在攀爬同一个山壁。
But staying calm and performing at your best when you know that any mistake could mean death requires a certain kind of mindset.
但在你知道犯错就可能意味着死亡的情况下，还要保持冷静和做出最佳表现，这就需要某种心态了。
That's not supposed to be funny, but if it is, it is.
这不应该是好笑的，不过如果好笑也罢。
I worked to cultivate that mindset through visualization,
我努力透过可视化来培养那种心态，
which basically just means imagining the entire experience of soloing the wall.
基本上，可视化就表示想象独攀那山壁的整个经历。
Partially, that was to help me remember all the holds,
这么做有一部分是在帮我记住所有的洞，
but mostly visualization was about feeling the texture of each hold in my hand
但主要是在感觉我手抓到的每一个洞是什么样的结构，
and imagining the sensation of my leg reaching out and placing my foot just so.
并想象我的腿向外伸出再把脚放下来的感受。
I'd imagine it all like a choreographed dance thousands of feet up.
我会把它想象成编好的舞步，只是在几千英尺高。
The most difficult part of the whole route was called the Boulder Problem.
整条路线中最困难的部分，被称为“抱石问题”。
It was about 2,000 feet off the ground and consisted of the hardest physical moves on the whole route:
它离地约两千英尺，包含有整条路线上最困难的身体动作：
long pulls between poor handholds with very small, slippery feet.
踩踏处又小又滑，手抓处不理想，做长距离的拉式动作。
This is what I mean by a poor handhold:
我说手抓处不理想的意思是：
an edge smaller than the width of a pencil but facing downward that I had to press up into with my thumb.
边缘比铅笔的宽度还要小，且洞口向下，我得要把我的大拇指向上推进去。
But that wasn't even the hardest part.
但那还不是最难的部分。
The crux culminated in a karate kick with my left foot over to the inside of an adjacent corner,
最为关键的在于用我的左脚做空手道踢脚，踢向邻接角落的内侧，
a maneuver that required a high degree of precision and flexibility,
这一招需很高的精准度和柔软度，
enough so that I'd been doing a nightly stretching routine for a full year ahead of time
我提早整整一年，晚上都为此在做例行的伸展，
to make sure that I could comfortably make the reach with my leg.
确保我的脚能很舒适地构着目标。
As I practiced the moves, my visualization turned to the emotional component of a potential solo.
当我练习动作的时候，我的可视化会转换为潜在独攀的情绪成分。
Basically, what if I got up there and it was too scary?
如果我爬上去之后，发现太可怕怎么办？
What if I was too tired? What if I couldn't quite make the kick?
我太累了怎么办？我做不太到那个踢的动作怎么办？
I had to consider every possibility while I was safely on the ground,
我还安全地待在地上时，就得要考虑所有的可能性，
so that when the time came and I was actually making the moves without a rope, there was no room for doubt to creep in.
等时候到了，我才能真正不靠绳索就做出那些动作，没有任何怀疑的空间。
Doubt is the precursor to fear, and I knew that I couldn't experience my perfect moment if I was afraid.
怀疑就是恐惧的前兆，我知道如果害怕，就不能体验到完美的时刻。
I had to visualize and rehearse enough to remove all doubt.
我得要做可视化，做足够演练，消除所有怀疑。
But beyond that, I also visualized how it would feel if it never seemed doable.
但在那之外，我也会可视化想象看似做不到时的感觉。
What if, after so much work, I was afraid to try?
万一，做了这么多努力之后，我却害怕不敢试呢？
What if I was wasting my time and I would never feel comfortable in such an exposed position?
万一我是在浪费我的时间，我永远不可能在这么无掩蔽的状况下感到舒适呢？
There were no easy answers, but El Cap meant enough to me that I would put in the work and find out.
没有简单的答案。但酋长岩对我意义重大，让我愿意努力去找答案。
Some of my preparations were more mundane.
有一些准备工作十分平凡。
This is a photo of my friend Conrad Anker climbing up the bottom of El Cap with an empty backpack.
这张照片中的人是我朋友康拉德·安科尔，背着空的背包从酋长岩的底部向上爬。
We spent the day climbing together to a specific crack in the middle of the wall
我们那天一起攀爬到山壁中间一个特定的裂缝处，
that was choked with loose rocks that made that section difficult and potentially dangerous,
它被松动的岩石给塞住，让那个区段很难爬且有潜在的危险性，
because any missed step might knock a rock to the ground and kill a passing climber or hiker.
因为如果没踩好，就可能让一块岩石向下落，砸死路过的攀岩者或登山客。
So we carefully removed the rocks, loaded them into the pack and rappelled back down.
所以我们小心地把岩石移除，放到背包中，再用绳索下降下来。
Take a second to imagine how ridiculous it feels to climb 1,500 feet up a wall just to fill a backpack full of rocks.
想象一下这感觉有多可笑，爬上一千五百英尺的山壁，只为了把背包装满岩石。
It's never that easy to carry a pack full of rocks around.
背着一袋岩石永远都不会很轻松。
It's even harder on the side of a cliff. It may have felt silly, but it still had to get done.
在峭壁边上更是困难。感觉可能很蠢，但这是必需要做的。
I needed everything to feel perfect if I was ever going to climb the route without a rope.
如果我真的不用绳索去攀爬那条路线，我得让一切完美。
After two seasons of working specifically toward a potential free solo of El Cap, I finally finished all my preparations.
我花了两季的时间专门准备潜在的酋长岩独攀，终于，我把所有的准备做好了。
I knew every handhold and foothold on the whole route, and I knew exactly what to do.
我知道整条路线上的每个手抓处和脚踩处，我非常清楚该做什么。
Basically, I was ready. It was time to solo El Cap.
基本上，我准备好了。该是独攀酋长岩的时候了。
On June 3, 2017, I woke up early, ate my usual breakfast of muesli and fruit and made it to the base of the wall before sunrise.
2017年6月3日，我起得很早，吃了平常的牛奶什锦早餐和水果，在日出之前到达了山壁的底部。
I felt confident as I looked up the wall. I felt even better as I started climbing.
我抬头看着山壁时感到自信。开始攀爬后我更有自信。
About 500 feet up, I reached a slab very similar to the one that had given me so much trouble on Half Dome, but this time was different.
大约向上爬了五百英尺，我到达了一块斜岩板，和半圆丘上给我添很多麻烦的那一块很类似，但这次可不一样。
I'd scouted every option, including hundreds of feet of wall to either side.
我已经侦察过每个选项，包括两边数百英尺的山壁。
I knew exactly what to do and how to do it.
我很清楚该做什么以及怎么做。
I had no doubts. I just climbed right through.
我毫无怀疑，直接攀爬过去。
Even the difficult and strenuous sections passed by with ease.
即使是困难且费劲的区段，我也轻松通过。
I was perfectly executing my routine.
我完美地执行了我的例程。
I rested for a moment below the Boulder Problem and then climbed it just as I had practiced so many times with the rope on.
我在Boulder Problem下面休息了一下，接着，就用我绑着绳索练习过无数次的方式攀爬过它。
My foot shot across to the wall on the left without hesitation, and I knew that I had done it.
我毫无犹豫地把脚跨过左边的山壁，我知道我办到了。
Climbing Half Dome had been a big goal and I did it, but I didn't get what I really wanted.
爬半圆丘是个很大的目标，我做到了，但我没有得到我真正想要的。
I didn't achieve mastery. I was hesitant and afraid, and it wasn't the experience that I wanted.
我没取得真正的成就。我犹豫又害怕，那不是我想要的经验。
But El Cap was different. With 600 feet to go, I felt like the mountain was offering me a victory lap.
但酋长岩就不同了。还剩六百英尺要爬，我觉得这座山在让我拿着金牌绕场跑一圈。
I climbed with a smooth precision and enjoyed the sounds of the birds swooping around the cliff.
我非常精准地攀爬着，享受着在峭壁附近俯冲的鸟儿的声音。
It all felt like a celebration. And then I reached the summit after three hours and 56 minutes of glorious climbing.
感觉就像是庆祝一样。我花了3小时56分到达顶峰，完成了一段荣耀的攀登。
It was the climb that I wanted, and it felt like mastery. Thank you.
这就是我想要的攀登，感觉就像是取得真正的成就了。谢谢。
