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We're holding hands, staring at the door.
我们手牵着手，盯着门口。
My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back from the hospital.
我和兄弟姐妹们在等着妈妈从医院回来。
She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day.
因为那天是我的外婆做癌症手术的日子。
Finally, the doors opened, and she said, "She's gone. She's gone."
终于，门开了，她说，“外婆走了。她走了。”
She started sobbing and immediately said, "We must make arrangements.
她开始哭泣，然后很快说到，“我们要做好安排。
Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea."
你们外婆的遗愿是要葬回韩国老家。”
I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off, my mother's words were ringing in my ears.
我当时也就12岁吧，当震惊慢慢退去，妈妈的话仍在耳中回响。
My grandmother wanted to be buried back home.
我的外婆想落叶归根。
We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior, without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living.
外婆去世的6年前，我们从韩国搬到阿根廷，完全不懂西班牙语，也不知道要如何生存。
And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything, so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives.
抵达的时候，我们是身无分文的移民，因此必须要非常努力地工作来开始新生活。
So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years, back home was still in Korea.
这么多年过去了，我从未想过，韩国才是我的家乡。
It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday, where home was for me, and the answer was not obvious.
我开始琢磨，将来我想被葬在哪里，哪里是我的老家，但我却找不到答案。
And this really bothered me. So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity.
这件事令我很困扰。这件事开启了我一生中寻找自己的身份的旅程。
I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi;
我在泡菜之国--韩国出生；
raised in Argentina, where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now;
在阿根廷长大，可能因为吃太多牛排，我觉得现在我80%的成分是牛；
and I was educated in the US, where I became addicted to peanut butter.
然后我在美国接受教育，在这儿又对花生酱爱得无法自拔。
During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian, but my looks betrayed me at times.
小时候，我觉得自己是个地道的阿根廷人，但我的外表时不时会背叛我。
I remember on the first day of middle school, my Spanish literature teacher came into the room.
我还记得上中学的第一天，我的西班牙文学老师走进教室。
She scanned all of my classmates, and she said, "You -- you have to get a tutor, otherwise, you won't pass this class."
她扫了一眼全班同学，说到，“你，你要请一个家教，否则，你肯定过不了这门课。”
But by then I was fluent in Spanish already, so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian, but not both.
但当时我的西班牙语已经非常流利了，当时给我的感觉就是，我要么是韩国人，要么是阿根廷人，但不可能两者都是。
It felt like a zero-sum game, where I had to give up my old identity to be able to gain or earn a new one.
这种感觉就像是非此即彼的博弈，我必须放弃自己的旧身份，才能获得新身份。
So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea, hoping that finally I could find a place to call home.
18岁那年，我决定去韩国，希望找到一个能称之为家的地方。
But there people asked me, "Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?"
但有人问我，“为什么你说韩语有西班牙口音？”
And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes and your foreign body language."
“你肯定是日本人，因为你眼睛很大，肢体动作也像外国人。”
And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian, but too Argentinian to be Korean.
原来，作为阿根廷人，我太韩国范儿，作为韩国人，我又太阿根廷范儿。
And this was a pivotal realization to me. I had failed to find that place in the world to call home.
对我来说这是一个非常关键的认识。我找不到一个可以称作老家的地方。
But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent
但是看起来像日本人的韩国人，讲话又带着西班牙口音，
or even more specific, Argentinian accent -- do you think are out there?
或者更确切地说，带着阿根廷口音，这样的人你们觉得有多少呢？
Perhaps this could be an advantage. It was easy for me to stand out,
也许这是一个优势。我更容易在人群中凸显出来，
which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing, where skills could become obsolete overnight.
在这个变化迅速的世界，你的技能也许一夜之间就被淘汰了。
So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality with the people that I met.
因此我不再在遇到的人身上寻找100%的共性。
Instead, I realized that oftentimes,
取而代之的是，我常常意识到，
I was the only overlap between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other.
自己正好处于交叉地带，位于常常有冲突发生的人群中间。
So with this realization in mind, I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself
带着这种认识，我决定接受一个截然不同的自己，
even allow myself to reinvent myself at times.
甚至允许自己以全新的面貌出现。
So for example, in high school, I have to confess I was a mega-nerd.
比如，在高中的时候，我不得不承认我是个书呆子。
I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle -- you can get the idea.
对于时尚一窍不通--戴着厚眼镜，留着简单的发型，相信你们能想象出来。
I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework. That's the truth.
我觉得，那时候我之所以有朋友，是因为我借作业给他们抄。是真的。
But once at university, I was able to find a new identity for myself, and the nerd became a popular girl.
但在大学的时候，我找到了自己新的身份，从书呆子变成了受欢迎的女孩。
But it was MIT, so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that.
但因为我在麻省理工，所以我也不知道这种改变到底有多大用处。
As they say over there, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
他们那儿有句话，“数量挺多的，质量却不好。”
I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked that I should get a degree in "random studies."
我换了很多次专业，最后我的顾问开玩笑说，我应该去修一个“随机专业”学位。
I told this to my kids. And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities.
我把这件事告诉了我的孩子们。这些年我有了许多不同的身份。
I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator. Then I became an investor, a woman in tech, a teacher.
最开始我是作为一名发明者，企业家，社会革新者。之后我成为了投资人，技术女性，老师。
And most recently, I became a mom, or as my toddler says repeatedly, "Mom!" day and night.
最近我成为了一名母亲，或者像我的小家伙不停叫着的，“妈妈！”，从早到晚。
Even my accent was so confused -- its origin was so obscure, that my friends called it, "Rebecanese."
就连我的口音也很奇怪--它是如此复杂，以至于我的朋友管它叫“瑞贝卡语”。
But reinventing yourself can be very hard. You can face a lot of resistance at times.
但是重塑自己是非常难的。你时常会遇到许多阻碍。
When I was nearly done with my PhD, I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug.
在我快拿到博士学位的时候，我开始心心念念想创业。
I was in Silicon Valley, and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting as starting my own company.
我当时在硅谷，在地下室写论文无趣极了，跟自己开公司没法比。
So I went to my very traditional Korean parents, who are here today,
因此我去找我那非常传统的父母，他们今天也在现场，
with the task of letting them know that I was going to drop out from my PhD program.
我想告诉他们，我打算放弃自己的博士学位。
You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university,
事实上，我和我的兄弟姐妹是第一代上大学的人，
so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal.
而对于一个移民家庭来说，这是件大事。
You can imagine how this conversation was going to go.
不难想象这次对话会变成什么样。
But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me,
但幸运的是，我有秘密武器，
which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates from Stanford PhD programs,
那是一张图表，上面展示的是斯坦福博士毕业生的平均收入水平，
and then the average income of all the dropouts from Stanford graduate programs.
还有从斯坦福退学的人的平均收入水平。
I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed by the founders of Google.
我必须得说，这张图表的数据分布绝对发生了偏移，因为谷歌的创始人们。
But my mom looked at the chart, and she said, "Oh, for you -- follow your passion." Hi, Mom.
但是我妈妈看着那张图表，对我说，“哦，我支持你！追随你的激情吧。”谢了，妈妈。
Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe.
现在我对自己身份的追寻不再是为了找到我的部族。
It's more about allowing myself to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself
而是为了允许我接受自己所有的可能性，形成自身的多元化，
and cultivating diversity within me and not just around me.
而不仅仅是周边环境的多元化。
My boys now are three years and five months old today, and they were already born with three nationalities and four languages.
我的儿子已经3岁5个月了，他们出生就有3个国籍，4种语言。
I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark
对，现在我应该告诉大家，我丈夫是丹麦人，
just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life, I decided to marry a Danish guy.
就是为了防止生活给我的文化冲击还不够猛烈，因此我嫁给了一个丹麦人。
In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older.
我想我的孩子应该是第一批长不出络腮胡的维京人吧。
Yeah, we'll have to work on that.
没错，我们得解决这个问题。
But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives,
但我真的希望，他们的多样性，能给他们的生活带来多一点可能，
and that they can use this as a way to find commonality in a world that's increasingly global today.
他们可以好好利用这一点在今天这个越来越全球化的世界中找到共性。
I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried that they don't fit in that one box or that their identity will become irrelevant someday,
我希望他们不用感到焦虑和担心，自己无法适应陈规，或者自己的身份某天变得不再重要，
that they can feel free to experiment and to take control of their personal narrative and identity.
他们可以自由地去尝试，掌控自己的个性和身份。
I also hope that they will use their unique combination of values and languages and cultures and skills
我还希望他们充分利用自己独特的优势，把不同价值观、语言、文化和技能结合起来，
to help create a world where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different, but rather, to bring together people.
帮助建立一个世界，让身份不再使得不同外表的人相互疏远，相反的，让他们相互靠近。
And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy in going through these uncharted territories, because I know I have.
最重要的是，我真心希望他们在探索这个未知领域的时候能够得到巨大的快乐，因为我知道我是快乐的。
Now, as for my grandmother, her last wish was also her last lesson to me.
对于我外婆来说，她的遗愿也是她给我上的最后一课。
It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea and being buried there.
其实是否回到韩国，安葬在那里，并不重要。
It was about resting next to her son, who had died long before she moved to Argentina.
重要的是跟她的儿子葬在一起，她的儿子在她来阿根廷之前就已经去世了。
What mattered to her was not the ocean that divided her past and new world;
对她而言，重要的不是那海洋，分隔了她的旧生活和新生活，
it was about finding common ground. Thank you.
而是找到那一片共同的土地。谢谢大家。
