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In 2013, I had a life-changing epiphany.
2013年，我体会到了一件改变我人生的顿悟。
I was a painter and decorator in Castlemaine, a small country town in central Victoria.
我当时是个油漆工和室内装潢师，我住在维多利亚中部的一个乡间小镇，卡索曼。
I'd gone to see Pete, who was renowned for his workmanship with steel.
我去找彼得是因为他的钢制工艺品非常闻名。
I'd gone to his shed to get some steel edging for the garden.
我都会去他的库房买些钢制的花草修边刀具。
This day, with hindsight, which is a wonderful gift, Pete seemed happier than usual.
这天，事后我才知道，是老天给我的礼物，彼得这天看上去比平常开心。
Two weeks later, I was painting a house down the end of Pete's street when I heard the tragic news. Pete had suicided.
两周后，我在彼得住的那条街尾油漆一间房子时，听到了悲剧的消息。彼得自杀了。
Pete, like myself, was a tradie, or a tradesman.
彼得和我一样，是个手工工人，或工匠。
We do like to shorten things in the Australian vernacular. A tradie.
在澳洲我们都喜欢用行话来简称。手工工人。
There was an expectation as a tradie. You're expected to be stoic.
在澳洲，大家对手工工人有个既定印象。你会被认为是坚忍不拔的。
You're expected to be strong, robust, macho.
你会被认为是强壮、稳健、有男子气概的。
You're expected to be tough physically and silent in the face of adversity.
你会被认为有强悍的身体，面对逆境时也不会跟别人说。
There is a pronounced ripple effect when someone suicides in your community.
当你的社区中有人自杀时，会有一个明显的涟漪作用。
Pete's funeral was in July. It was winter. The mood was bleak and somber in the packed community hall.
彼得的葬礼办在七月。当时是冬天。现场气氛很阴冷、忧郁，地点是在拥挤的社区厅堂。
It was a grieving community who had no answers to Pete's suicide, no answers at all.
社区充满着哀悼的气氛，关于彼得的自杀大家都没有答案，完全没有人知道怎么回事。
As I wandered around between the tradies and the community members, I started hearing some tones of another underlying tragic level.
当我在手工工人和社区成员之间来回穿梭时，我开始听到一些声音，那是另一种台面下的悲伤境界。
I heard people talking in that community hall about the struggles other people were going through.
我听到大家在社区厅堂中的谈话，谈论其他人正在经历的痛苦。
The essence of the conversations was contained in two words that I heard several times: Who's next?
我听到的这些对话内容，可以用这句话来浓缩概括：谁是下一个？
Who's next? That was the epiphany. That was the moment where I was standing in a community hall in a place
谁是下一个？那就是我说的顿悟。就在那一刻，我站在社区厅堂里，在这个地方，
where this Castlemaine community had given me such support for 20 years, this community had backed my work,
这个卡索曼社区在二十年间都一直给予我很大的支持，这个社区支助我的工作，
I'd played footy there, I'd done theater there, I was so grateful for what they'd given me.
我在这个社区踢足球，我在这个社区拍过戏剧，我很感谢他们给我的一切。
But I was standing there in that space, and I was looking around that hall as well,
但当我站在那个空间里，环视着厅堂的四周，
and I could tell people in that hall who were struggling with alcohol, drugs, finance, gambling, domestic abuse, bullying and harassment.
我可以分辨得出在厅堂中的那些人，哪些人正在努力对抗酒精、毒品、财务问题、赌博、家暴、霸凌以及骚扰。
Yet because of my tradie culture and that ignorant attitude that we have in the tradie community, I didn't feel confident at all.
然而，因为我的手工工人文化，以及在手工工人社区中我们的那种无知程度，让我完全没有信心。
I didn't have the tools. I lacked the experience. I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to do something.
我没有方法。我缺乏经验。我不知道该做什么，但我想要做点什么。
I left the wake. I hugged a few tradie mates and said, "Please come and see me if you need to."
我离开了灵堂。我拥抱了几位手工工人伙伴，并说：“如果你有需要，请随时来找我。”
But I didn't know what to say to them or what to tell them. I had no idea.
但我不知道该对他们说什么，或该告诉他们什么。我没有头绪。
I got a phone call two weeks later from Catherine Pilgrim, my cofounder, wanting to do something for the family.
两周后，我接到我的共同创办人凯瑟琳·皮尔格林姆打来的电话，她想要为这个家庭做点什么。
We talked for a while and I said, let's do something for the tradie community.
我们谈了一会儿，我说，咱们来为手工工人社群做点什么。
We love our town, we're grateful, let's do something for the tradie community.
我们爱我们的小镇，我们很感恩，咱们来为手工工人社群做点什么。
So we talked a bit more. What could we do? An awareness-raising event. Awesome. We're talking about tradies.
我们又多谈了些。我们能做什么？一个了解自杀意识的宣导活动。棒极了。我们谈起了手工工人。
How do you get tradies somewhere? Can you get them to a hospital? No.
你要如何把手工工人聚在一起？你要叫手工工人去医院吗？不行。
To a community health center? No. There's an ingrained culture of being a tradie.
去社区的健康中心？不行。手工工人有一种固执的文化。
I thought, where is the perfect place we can get the tradies together
我在想，哪一个地方最适合把手工工人集合在一起，
where they feel socially included and they feel comfortable and they can share,
让他们觉得在社会上能被包容且很自在，让他们可以分享、
they can open up and talk about mental health in the building industry?
敞开心胸，谈论建筑行业里的心理健康？
Where can we have an event? A hardware store.
我们能在哪里办活动？五金行。
Yeah, that's what I thought too. I thought it was very clever.
是啊，我也这么想。我觉得这点子很聪明。
More precisely, the timber yard of a hardware store. So there we were.
更准确点儿，是在五金行堆置木材的地方。所以，就这样。
OK, we've got the venue. What else do we need? What else do tradies love?
我们有了地点。我们还需要什么？手工工人还爱什么？
Food. I know, we all do, but tradies love food. Tradies especially, and I'm a tradie myself, we love egg and bacon rolls.
食物。我知道，我们都是，但手工工人爱食物。手工工人特别爱食物，我自己也是手工工人，我们爱吃蛋和培根卷。
So we thought we'd supply the tradies with egg and bacon rolls, and there was the slogan: save your bacon.
所以，我们觉得我们应该供应蛋和培根卷给手工工人，于是标语就出来了：救救你的培根。
It's a bit corny, but it sort of works. And we also came up with a logo. "Hope Assistance Local Tradies."
是有点老套，但还算有效果。我们还想出了一个标志。“希望援助当地手工工人”。
Keep in mind, "HALT," our charity, had no money to begin, nothing, not a single cent.
别忘了，我们的慈善机构“HALT”一开始并没有钱，完全没有，一毛也没有。
We had conversations. This is a community issue. It starts in community.
我们有的是对话。这是个社区议题，从社区开始。
So we went around to the butcher, we went around to the baker, there was no candlestick maker,
所以我们开始去找屠夫，去找面包师，没有做蜡烛的人，
there was an egg place and there was some chocolate, there was coffee, there was fruit,
有放鸡蛋的地方，也有一些巧克力，有咖啡、有水果，
but we went around and said, "Hey, we're doing this awareness-raising event.
但我们四处游走并说：“嘿，我们要办一个宣导活动。
Do you want to contribute? Because we haven't got any money."
你想要做点贡献吗？因为我们没有钱。”
Of course, nearly every person we initiated the conversation with knew someone that had anxiety, depression
当然，几乎我们去交谈的每个人都认识某个有焦虑、忧郁
or thoughts of suicide or had suicided. There was that unity, that whole of community approach.
或自杀念头的人，或已自杀的人。用这种共识、全社区参与的方式进行募款。
So we thought, that's great, we've got some food. What else do we need? We need the support services there.
我们在想，太棒了，所以我们准备了一些食物。我们还需要什么？在那里我们也会需要支援服务。
A lot of tradies, and a lot of men in general, don't necessarily know where to go and get help.
很多手工工人，一般来说，有很多男性不见得知道要去哪里求助。
I myself was one of them, and this is what I talk about at the HALT events,
我自己就是其中一个，这就是我在HALT活动上讲的主题，
that four years ago when I founded HALT, I didn't know I could go to the doctor about my mental health and get a mental health plan.
四年前，当我成立HALT时，我不知道，如果有心理健康问题可以去找医生，并参与心理健康计划。
I didn't know about community health. I certainly didn't know about Lifeline,
我也没听过社区健康。我当然不知道有生命热线，
and I've called Lifeline three times, and they've certainly potentially saved my life.
后来我自己打过三次生命热线，他们肯定可能救了我的命。
I had to learn all these things. Tradies need to know them.
我得要学习所有这些事。手工工人需要了解它们。
We provided bags, bags of information, and I had quite a few tradies say to me in the first year,
我们提供很多袋子，里面装了很多资讯，第一年，有几个手工工人对我说：
"Aw, this is a load of you-know-what," but those tradies I know still have those bags in their Ute or in their shed.
“啊，这里面有好多的'你知道吗'。”但我认识的那些手工工人仍然把那些袋子放在他们的货车中，或他们的库房中。
On November 10, 2013, we had our event, and interestingly enough, when I talk about a whole of community approach,
2013年11月10日，我们办了活动，很有趣的是，当我谈到这个全社区参与的方式时，
that was our first event in Castlemaine at Tonks Brothers, and there's a whole of community there.
那是我们的第一次活动，在卡索曼的Tonks Brothers举办，全社区的人都到了。
There's counselors, there's people who have gone through mental health.
有咨询师、有曾经克服过心理健康的人。
That first event set the scene. Since then, we've had more events.
第一场活动奠定了基础。之后，我们办了更多活动。
Interestingly enough, it's not only tradies that are affected by mental health or anxiety or depression or suicide.
很有趣的是，并不只有手工工人受到心理健康、焦虑、忧郁或自杀的影响。
We started working with TAFEs. We started working in the farming industry, at councils, at secondary colleges.
我们开始和技职教育机构合作。我们开始在农会、地方议会、中等学校举办。
We did events for the partners of tradies, because often the tradies would not go home to their partners and say,
我们为手工工人的伴侣办活动，因为手工工人通常不会回家跟另一半说：
"Guess what, we talked about mental health, and we're going to do this, this and this now."
“你知道吗，我们在谈心理健康，我们现在准备要做这个、这个和这个。”
So we're doing events for the partners, who themselves may need help. TAFEs are very popular.
所以我们也针对伴侣来办活动，她/他们本身可能也需要帮助。技职教育机构到处都有。
For me, it's really crucial to get to these young, vulnerable men and women.
对我来说，能接触到这些年轻、弱势的男女很重要。
We've done events for men's sheds, so the high rate of suicide is really high for older men.
我们已经在男人库房办了几场活动，因为年长男性的自杀率真的很高。
We've done events for council depot workers and tradies.
我们也为地方议会仓库的劳工和手工工人办活动。
Interestingly enough, nearly every single event -- and we've actually done now, with very little funding, 150 events over four states.
有趣的是，几乎每一场活动--目前为止，我们以极少的资金在四大州办了超过150场的活动。
So -- oh please, thank you.
所以--喔，真的没什么，谢谢你们。
And invariably at every single HALT event at a hardware store,
不变的是，在每一场五金行举办的HALT活动中，
I have one tradie come up to me, at least one come up and tell me about his suicide attempt.
都会有手工工人来找我，至少会有一位来找我，并告诉我他曾尝试过自杀。
They're not suicidal there and then, they've worked through it, but these men have never felt they could share their vulnerabilities.
后来没有自杀并渡过了难关，但这些人从来没想到他们也可以分享他们的脆弱。
They've never felt they can talk about their suicide attempt, but the HALT events,
他们从来不知道他们也可以谈论曾经尝试着自杀的经验，但在HALT的活动中可以，
where there's no expectations for them to talk, makes them feel comfortable to start talking.
大家对你要谈论什么并没有既定的期望，让他们觉得自在，愿意开始谈。
And it's not just they talk to me and tell me their story, they actually now say, "We feel comfortable enough to talk with other men."
他们不只告诉我他们的故事而已，他们现在还会说：“我们跟别人谈这事感到自在。”
I've had men stand up and say, "I've never mentioned before that I've had depression,
我已经能让他们站起来说：“我未曾提过我有忧郁症，
but I have, and if anyone else here wants to come and speak to me, I'm here to talk to you."
但我有，如果这里的任何人想要来和我谈，我很乐意和你谈。”
It's very empowering and cathartic to do that.
这么做，非常激励人心且有净化作用。
We need a whole-of-community approach. We give the tradies bags of information from local and national support services.
我们需要一种全社区参与的方式。我们已在当地和全国的支援服务单位送出袋装的手工工人资讯。
It's one of thing to tell a tradie or someone at one of these events, "You should go here, here and here,"
告诉手工工人或参与者“你该去这里、这里和这里”是一回事，
but we need the whole of community to wrap around the idea of suicide prevention.
但我们需要整个社区专心致志于预防自杀的想法上。
We need those services, and suicide doesn't discriminate at all. It's not a 9-to-5 thing.
我们需要那些服务，并且自杀是完全没有差别待遇的。它并非朝九晚五的东西。
We need to do events before 9am, which most of our brekkies are, and after 5 PM.
我们需要在早上九点前的早餐时间办活动，以及晚上五点之后。
That's what we need to do. It's a whole-of-community approach.
那是我们得要去做的。这是个全社区参与的方式。
We need to get into businesses. We need to get into sporting clubs, community clubs.
我们必须进入业界。我们得要进入运动俱乐部，社区俱乐部。
We need to get in there and train people to understand about mental health.
我们需要进入那些地方，训练大家了解心理健康。
Here's some sobering statistics just to give you an idea.
以下这些统计数据，能让各位有些概念。
In 2016, in Australia, 2,866 suicides, very close to twice the road toll.
2016年，在澳洲，有2866件自杀案件，大约是公路收费站的两倍。
Globally, 800,000 a year suicides in the world, one every 40 seconds.
全球来看，每年全世界有80万件自杀案件，每40秒就有一人自杀。
We need a whole-of-community approach. We need to feel comfortable in opening up the conversations.
我们需要一种全社区参与的方式。我们需要让人感到自在、愿意敞开心胸的对话。
Men I know find it really difficult to open up conversations. They certainly do.
我认识的男人觉得要敞开心胸来进行对话是很困难的。他们肯定如此觉得。
If you're going to open up conversations, I tell the guys, you need to find a comfortable place to open up and have a conversation,
我告诉这些家伙，如果你打算要开启一段对话，你要找到一个舒服且放得开的地方来做对话，
whether it's at the pub, it's going for a walk, it's after footy.
不论是酒吧、是去散个步，或是踢完足球后。
Find that really comfortable place to have the conversation.
找到一个舒服的地方来进行对话。
Part of the ability to have that conversation is to understand what to say.
进行对话所需要的能力之一就是要了解要说什么。
We've all heard about, "Are you OK?" And I've seen it. I've done this.
我们都听过“你还好吗？”我见过。我做过。
"Are you OK?" "Yes." "Are you OK?" "Yes." "Are you OK?" "Yes." "Are you OK?" "No." What do I say now? What do I say?
“你还好吗？”“还好。”“你还好吗？”“还好。”“你还好吗？”“还好。”“你还好吗？”“不好。”我现在要说什么？我要说什么？
We need to equip every single person with the ability to come forth and be able to have that conversation.
我们得要让每一个人都有能力能够站出来，做那样的对话。
We need to be able to listen. I don't know who out there is a good listener.
我们需要能够倾听。我不知道外头有谁是好的倾听者。
I'm working on my listening abilities, but it's an art form to listen and not judge.
我在努力改善我自己的倾听能力，但倾听却不评断，可说是一种艺术。
Don't make fun. If someone's coming to talk to you about mental illness and anxiety and depression and thoughts of suicide, we need to respect that.
别开玩笑。如果有人来找你谈关于心理问题、焦虑、忧郁及自杀想法的话题，我们要表现出尊重。
They want to trust us that we're going to hold that in tight and not tell everyone. We need to do that.
他们信任我们会保守秘密，不会告诉每个人。我们得要做到那一点。
So we need to have conversations. We need to listen. And we need to start reducing the stigma associated with mental health.
所以，我们得要进行对话。我们得要倾听。我们得要开始减少和心理健康相关的污名。
Companies are now starting to have mental health days. What a great idea.
现在有些公司开始有所谓的心理健康日。这点子多棒啊。
It's not just physical sick days, it's mental health days. Things are changing. We can add to that change.
不只是身体生病日，是心理健康日。改变在发生，我们可以协助改变。
I'm a life preserver. I think we can all be life preservers.
我是位生命保护者。我想，我们都能成为生命保护者。
The pain of regret is far greater than the pain of hard work. Thank you.
后悔所带来的痛苦，远大于辛苦的痛苦。谢谢。
