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Guys, it was almost 90 degrees in New York City today.
朋友们，纽约今天将近90华氏摄氏度。
It was so hot, President Trump's lawyer spent the day fanning himself with hush money. I mean it was that, It was really hot.
太热了，小特的律师今天一整天都在扇风，扇的不是别的而是封口钱，实在太热了。
Speaking of the president, his doctor wrote a letter calling Trump the healthiest President ever.
说到总统，小特的医生写了一封信，说小特是最健康的总统。
But now, the doctor is saying Trump dictated the letter himself.
但如今，医生却说那封信是小特口述的。
Trump was like, Yes, I dictated it, and I am one of the healthiest dictators ever elected.
小特说没错是我干的，我是有史以来最健康的独裁者。
In the letter, Trump said that his physical strength is extraordinary.
在这封信中，小特说他很强壮。
His physical strength is extraordinary. Extraordinary. Then he used two hands to drink a tiny glass of water. It was...
很强壮，很强壮，但他却用两只手拿小水杯，恩恩。
That's right. The doctor, Harold Bornstein, let Trump write the letter for him.
没错，小特的医生哈罗德·博思廷让小特自己写。
Later, Trump was asked why he had such a bad doctor, and he said because I'm on the Republican health care plan.
不久后，小特被问到为什么会有这么不靠谱的医生，他说因为我用了共和党的医保计划。
And have you seen the choices? Have you seen my options?
你看到选择了吗？看到我的选择了吗？
I saw that Bornstein also said he prescribed hair growth pills for Trump.
听说博思廷还为小特开了长头发的药。
Can we look at a picture of this guy? Look at this guy. Call me crazy.
来看看这名医生，来看看，请叫我疯狂。
I think he might be taking too many of those hair growth pills. Can we see him again? Look at that.
我觉得他才是这种药吃多了，能再看一遍吗？看看。
That guy looks like, That guy looks like if Ringo Starr really let himself go. Peace and love. Peace and love.
他长得有点像林戈·斯塔尔，和平与爱，和平与爱。
I haven't slept in a week. The Russia investigation is heating up.
我一个礼拜没有睡觉，关于俄罗斯问题调查愈演愈烈。
I saw that if Trump's lawyers don't agree to a sit-down interview with Mueller, he'll issue a subpoena.
如果小特的律师不接受米勒的询问，那么他将传讯小特。
Trump was like, No problem. I love subpoena. She's my favorite teenage witch. Subpoena the Teenage Witch.
小特说没问题，我喜欢传讯，她是我最喜欢的少女巫师，少女巫师传讯。
Get this, one of Trump's other lawyers, Ty Cobb, you know this guy, he announced that he is retiring.
听说小特的另一名律师泰·克布宣布辞职。
Can we see a picture of him? Yeah, Cobb's looking forward to a few weeks off before returning to his old gig
来看看他的面容，恩恩，克布可以先休息几周，然后继续为
on the side of the Pringles can. So that's a...
品客薯片做代言，恩恩。
I saw that French president Emmanuel Macron met with the prime minister of Australia today.
听说法国总统马克龙今天会见了澳洲总理。
And he used a pretty interesting word to describe the prime minister's wife. Watch this.
他用了一个特别有趣的词来形容总理的妻子，来看看。
I wanted to thank you for, I wanted to thank you and your delicious wife for your warm welcome.
我想要感谢您和您可口的夫人，感谢你们的盛情欢迎。
Macron. Well...Wow. That's what you get when you learn English from Donald Trump.
马克龙，哦哦，如果你和小特学英语，一定是这个效果。
You know, it's like, Your wife is....
嗯呢，你的妻子是...
This is big, you guys. Facebook is coming out with their own dating service.
这个是大事，脸书推出了自己的约会服务。
So now you can meet someone on Facebook before dating them, breaking up,
见面之前你可以在脸书上和他约会，或者是分手，
and then stalking them on Facebook. It's perfect. It's....Circle of life.
然后在脸书上跟踪他，完美，生活之旅。
I heard that the scientists, scientists just named a newly discovered beetle after Leonardo DiCaprio.
听说科学家又发现了一种甲壳虫，并以莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥的名字命名。
Unfortunately, it froze in the ocean after the beetle's girlfriend wouldn't share part of the leaf
不幸的是，这只甲壳虫的女朋友不愿意与他分享树叶，他不幸被冻死在了大海里，
even though there was clearly room on the leaf for both of them.
尽管这片树叶足可以支撑两个人。
They could have both been on the leaf! Yet, you need the leaf to yourself!
两个人都可以在树叶上，但你却自己独吞了！
Near, far, wherever. Where-e-e. Let me try one more time. Where-e-e.
近，远，不管....让我再试一次，不管...
I'm sorry. I'll get it this time. Let's do one more take. Where-e-e.
对不起，这次绝对可以，再来一次，不管...
All right. I'm gonna take five. Finally, I heard about a woman here in New York who's selling jewelry
好了，我想我得试五次，纽约一名女性售卖珠宝，
that she makes out of dismembered Barbie dolls, including eyes, lips, and feet.
但珠宝是由肢解的芭比娃娃制成，包括眼睛、嘴唇和脚。
Ew! People said it's cruel to take Barbie apart like that. Then Ken said I'll show you something cruel.
呃呃，有人说这么肢解芭比娃娃是非常残忍的，肯却说我来给你看看什么是残忍。
I mean, hello! We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots.
哦哦，不要说了，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
