Here's what people are talking about. The big story is still Trump's physical,
大家谈论最多的还是小特身体问题,
which he passed with flying colors. Yeah. Surprisingly, yeah.
他更是以优异的成绩通过了身体检查,太不可思议了对吗。
A lot of people were very skeptical when they heard that Trump only weighs 239 pounds.
当他们听说小特只有239磅重时,他们还有点不太敢相信。
But actually checks out when you remember that for the weigh-in, Trump took off his clothes and his hair. So I mean, that's...
如果是赛前称重的话就说的通了,小特一定会脱掉衣服和头发,所以...
Makes sense. It balances out. So they say Trump hopes to drop 10 to 15 pounds this year...
那就说通了,相抵了,小特希望今年减重10-15磅,
while Melania hopes to drop 239. Ho! Ho! Hey! Ho!
梅拉尼娅希望他减重239磅,哦哦哦。
This surprised some people. Trump's doctor says he got a perfect score on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment,
下面的才令人惊叹,小特的医生说他在蒙特利尔认知评估量表的表现非常棒,
which is a test that examines someone's mental clarity.
这个测试是检测头脑清晰度的。
Well, we got our hands on Trump's answers, and I think that they may have gotten a little....
我们对小特的答案动了些手脚,我想这个应该有点....
They've gone a little easy with him with the grading. Really?
他们对小特的测试防水了,真的吗?
I think, well, just take a look. I don't know. The first question was,
先来看看吧,我不知道,第一个问题是,
what is similar about a grape and an orange?
葡萄和橘子有什么相似之处?
Trump said they're both types of soda. It's correct, but, yeah. He's right, I mean...
小特说两个都有苏打口味的汽水,没错,他说的对,我的意思是...
Next, they asked, what is 30 minus 7? Trump said my approval rating.
下一个问题,他们问30-7等于多少? 小特说这是我的支持率。
And he.... Whoa! This is... And then they said, draw a square.
哦哦哦,这是,他们说画一个正方形。
Trump drew a doodle of Mike Pence. Oh, my. That is actually a good drawing. A good drawing though, very good drawer. Yeah.
小特随便画了一个麦克·彭斯,画的不错,画的真好,天才画家,没错。
Next, they asked what is the name of this animal? Trump said Mufasa.
下一题,这个动物叫什么名字,小特回答的是木法沙。
Not wrong. Finally, they asked, what's the name of this animal? Trump said boobasaurus. Well, I mean you got one, one wrong.
他没错,最后是这个动物叫什么,小特说“boobasaurus”,他就错了一个。
One wrong out of the whole thing. No, no, that's not bad. Not bad.
错了一个,不错的成绩,不错。
This is pretty big. Today, Senator Jeff Flake gave a big speech on the Senate floor,
下面这个新闻大了,参议员杰夫·弗雷克在参议院发表演讲,
and he compared President Trump to Russian dictator Joseph Stalin.
他将小特和俄罗斯独裁者斯大林相比较。
Trump said why, because we were both elected by Russians.
小特说为什么,因为他们都是俄罗斯人选举出来的。
After he was accused of making racist remarks in a meeting last week,
上周,小特因为种族言论遭到斥责,
Trump tweeted that his approval rating among black voters has doubled. That story again.
小特发布“推特”,说黑人对他的支持率增加了一倍,又是老一套。
Two times zero is still zero. Just so you know. Doubled. Doubled.
二乘以零还是零,增加了一倍,一倍。
This morning, Eric Trump went on Fox and Friends and passionately defended his father,
今天早上,埃里克·特朗普上了《福克斯和朋友》节目,并为父亲讨回了公道,
while at home the President was like, where do I know that guy from? I like him. I like him a lot.
而待在家里的小特却说,这个人是从哪里来的? 我非常喜欢他。
You guys see this? Yesterday in Japan, someone sent a false alert about a North Korean missile.
看这个新闻了吗? 昨天日本误报朝鲜发射导弹。
Then the guy who sent it said yeah, I might have lied about why I left my last job in Hawaii. Sorry! Uh, Oops! Sorry!
误报员出面说,好耶,关于我为什么要辞去夏威夷的工作,我应该说个谎,对不起了。
Listen to this, I saw that the UK just appointed a Minister of Loneliness.
听下面这个,我听说英国任命了一位孤独部长。
The UK just appointed a Minister of Loneliness. Yeah. To deal with the sad reality of modern life. Yeah.
英国任命了一位孤独部长,没错,来处理现代人的孤独问题。
Minister of Loneliness.As if Morrissey wasn't enough.
孤独部长,我看英国的莫西里还不够多。
They named him Minister of Loneliness. Even worse,even worse,
他们任命他为孤独部长,更坏的是,更可恶的是,
she's the only person in the world with that job. I mean, how sad! How sad is that?
她是全球唯一一个拥有这份工作的人,太悲催了,太悲催了。
It's the only person, can't relate to anyone.
他和任何人都没有关系。
Finally, I want to say, you liked that Morrissey one? Yeah, I know, that was classic, It was classic, thank you, thank you.
最后我想说,你喜欢莫西里? 太经典了,太经典了,没错,谢谢你。
Finally, I want to say congrats to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West who just welcomed a baby girl this week. Yeah! Yeah.
最后我想祝贺金·卡戴珊和坎耶·维斯特,他们的女儿本周出生了,太棒了。
I don't have a joke for that. I just want to think back to the good old days when that would have been our lead story.
关于他们没有什么梗了,我只是想回到过去,想想当初他们可是我们首先要说的话题。
There you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen.
今晚的节目非常精彩,女士们先生们掌声送给紫根合唱团。