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Hi. Welcome again to engvid.com. I'm Adam.
大家好，欢迎再次来到engvid.com，我是Adam。
Today's lesson, we're looking at IELTS and TOEFL, the writing section, and we're going to look at the five most common mistakes that I see when I'm checking students' essays. Okay?
在今天的课上，我们要来看看雅思和托福考试的写作部分，我们要来讲一讲我在检查学生的作文时发现的五个最常见的错误。
Now, as usual, for the IELTS and TOEFL lesson, I will speak a little bit more natural speed, a little bit faster than usual.
和往常一样，讲雅思和托福课程时，我会用更自然一些的语速说话，会比平时稍快一些。
If you're a beginner, don't worry, watch the video, listen, practice your listening.
如果你是新手也不要担心，好好看视频，用心听，练习一下你的听力。
Get the vocabulary you need, it's all... it's good for everybody, but just a little bit harder. Okay?
学一下你需要的词汇，这......这对每个人都有好处，不过只是稍微有点难度。
So, now, where do I begin? I check a lot of essays. Okay?
那么，我要从哪儿开始讲呢？我检查很多作文。
People send me their essays, I check them, I edit them, I tell them what they're doing wrong, and I've come to the realization that there are certain mistakes that many, many people make.
人们会把他们的作文发给我，我检查、校订它们，告诉这些人他们哪里写错了，然后我意识到，有一些错误是很多很多人都会犯的。
So, I want to tell you five of these common mistakes so that you can avoid making them. Okay?
所以，我想告诉你们这些常见错误中的五个，这样你们就能避免犯这些错误了。
And the first one, and this is the most common mistake that I see is that you are trying too hard.
第一个，这是我最常看见的错误，那就是：用力过猛。
Now, what does this mean?Trying hard is a good thing, right? Yes, it is.But you're trying too hard to sound impressive. Okay?
什么意思呢？用力是一件好事，对吗？是的，没错。但是你们用力过猛反而无法给人留下深刻印象，知道吗？
You're trying to impress the graders of these... of these exams, IELTS and TOEFL, you think that by using big words or lots of idioms,
你们想惊艳这些考试......雅思和托福考试的阅卷人，你们以为使用大词或很多习语，
or very, very long sentences that are very complex and have many clauses that you're getting a higher score.
或者非常复杂的和有很多从句的长句就能得到高分。
In fact, most of the times, you're actually hurting yourselves.
事实上，在大部分情况下，你们实际上在害自己。
Why? Because you're using words incorrectly, you're using them inappropriately, meaning in the wrong context or the wrong usage or in the wrong parts of speech,
为什么？因为你们没有正确使用这些单词，你们的用法不恰当，也就是说你们把这些单词用在了错误的上下文中，或者用法有误，或者用在了演讲稿中错误的部分，
you're using a verb when you should use a noun, etc.
你们在应该使用一个名词的地方使用了动词，等等。
When you write very, very long sentences, quite often, you have run-on sentences, mean... meaning you have two independent clauses in one sentence,
通常，当你们写非常非常长的句子时，你们写的都是流水句，就是说你们在一个句子里写了两个独立的分句，
and no punctuation, and no conjunctions, and then the whole sentence falls apart and means nothing.
没有标点符号，也没有连接词，那么这整个句子就会瓦解，没有任何意义。
And also, a lot of people use idioms because... yeah, idioms will get you extra points, but they're using them incorrectly or in the wrong context, again,
还有，很多人用习语，因为......是，习语会给你们挣来额外的分数，但是他们使用的不正确，或者用在了错误的语境里，再说一次，
make sure you know the words you're using, make sure you know the idioms you're using, and shorter sentences can actually be better.
请确保你们知道自己正在用的单词的意思，确保你们了解自己正在用的习语的意思，还有，简短一些的句子实际上可能更好。
Simple is often better than complex.
简单通常好过复杂。
If you think about... as an analogy, if you think about cooking, the more spices you put into the dish, the less you taste the actual meat or the actual core of the dish.
如果你们想想......打个比方，你们可以想想烹饪，你们往菜里放越多香料，品尝到的实际的肉味或者这道菜的真正精髓就越少。
Simple is best.Let me give you an example.Here are two sentences, okay, let me read them to you.
简单是最好的。我给你们举个例子吧。这里有两个句子，我读给你们听一下。
"The CEO", Chief Executive Officer, like the head of the company... "The CEO's tenure at the company was abbreviated
"The CEO"（首席执行官，就是公司的领导），首席执行官在公司的任期被缩短了，
due to his reluctance to integrate more females into upper managerial posts, thereby drawing the ire of the Board who consequently relieved him of his duties."
因为他不愿让更多的女性进入高层管理职位，因此惹怒了董事会，他们将他罢免了。）
Now, this sentence is perfectly okay.
这个句子完全没问题。
It's grammatically correct, all the words are being used correctly, but if you can write a sentence like this the way that I wrote it here,
语法上是正确的，每个单词使用得都正确，但是如果你们能写出我写在这里的这种句子，
then you don't need to worry about the IELTS or the TOEFL; your English is obviously very high level.
那你们就用不着担心雅思或托福了，你们的英语显然处于很高的水平。
If you can do this, then this test will be very easy for you.
如果你们能做到这样，那这个考试对你们来说就是小菜一碟。
However, a lot of people, a lot of test-takers try to write this sentence, and then they end up making many, many mistakes.
但是，很多人，很多参加考试的人想写出这样的句子，但是他们最终会犯很多很多错误。
They don't use this word correctly: "abbreviated", they say: "abbreviation", okay, that's the more common thing of it, "abbreviated" means made shorter. Okay?
他们不会正确使用"abbreviated"（缩短的）这个单词，他们会说"abbreviation"（缩写），后者更常见，"abbreviated"的意思是被变得更短了，知道了吗？
"Reluctance", hesitance, like not really wanting to.
"Reluctance"（不情愿），就是hesitance（踌躇），指不太想做某件事。
This word: "ire", I write all the time, I write for a living, I never use this word "ire", because it's so old-fashioned.
"ire"这个单词......我一直都在写作，我靠写作糊口，但是我从来不用"ire"这个单词，因为它太老了。
And also, it's a small word, right, so you don't need many syllables, you don't need very rare words.
还有，这是个小词，对吧？所以你们不需要很多音节，不需要非常罕见的单词。
You need to be simple, you need to get your message across.The most important part of the test is: answer the question.
你们需要从简，需要让别人能看懂你们的信息。考试最重要的部分就是回答问题。
They give you a task, answer it, answer it clearly, concisely, means: use fewer words, not more words.
他们给你们一个任务，回答它，清晰简洁地回答，即少用一些单词，不要多用单词。
If you can say the same thing in fewer words, get the message across, make it clear, make the reader interested, then you'll get higher points than if you write something like this. Okay?
如果你们能用更少的单词表达同样的事情，讲清楚信息，使它清晰明了，能让读者产生兴趣，那么你们就能得到比写出这样的东西更高的分数。
Let's look at this sentence: "The CEO's time was cut short because he wouldn't promote women to top positions, which angered the Board who then fired him."
我们来看看这个句子"The CEO's time was cut short because he wouldn't promote women to top positions, which angered the Board who then fired him."（首席执行官在公司的任期被缩短了，因为他不愿让更多的女性进入高层管理职位，因此惹怒了董事会，他们将他罢免了。）
Okay, look at the two sentences, this sentence means exactly the same thing as this sentence.
好了，来看看这两个句子，这个句子和上一个句子的意思完全一样。
Much shorter, much simpler words, much more direct delivery of the message.Now, "tenure", "time", same thing.
它简短得多，使用的单词更简单，表达信息更加直接。"tenure"和"time"指的是同一个东西。
Tenure's a nice word, but if you're not going to use it correctly, then you're going to lose points, not gain points.
"tenure"是个好词，但是如果你们不能正确使用的话，就会丢分而不是得分。
Better to write "time", and get the message across, than to write "tenure" and use a word incorrectly,
比起"tenure"，还是写"time"更好，能够讲清楚信息，如果单词使用不正确，
which means you don't actually know it, and you make the whole sentence confusing to the reader.
也就是说你们实际上不懂这个单词的意思，那你们会让读者对整个句子感到困惑。
So you're actually doing two bad things, we call this a "double-whammy", in case you need extra expressions.
所以你们实际上做了两件坏事，我们把这种行为叫做"double-whammy"（双重打击），以防你们需要额外的表达。
A double-whammy means you're hurting yourself twice, okay, so don't do that.
"double-whammy"的意思是你在伤害自己两次，知道了吗？所以不要那么做。
"Ire", just say "angered", now, if you can use the word "angered", this is a high-end word.
"Ire"这个单词，直接用"angered"代替就可以了，如果你们能使用"angered"这个单词，这是个很高端的词。
Now, you're thinking: "Angry? 'Angry' is not a high-end word."Yes, but I didn't say "angry", I said "angered".
你们可能会想：“Angry？'Angry'可不是个高端的词。”没错，但我说的不是"angry"，我说的是"angered"。
If you could show the graders that you know this word so well that you know how to use it as a verb...
如果你们能展示给阅卷人看你们非常了解这个单词，以至于你们知道如何把它用作一个动词......
because most people don't, most people only know "angry" or "anger", the noun, very few people use this word as a verb.
因为大多数人不知道，大部分人只知道"angry" 或 "anger"作为名词的形式，很少有人会把这个单词用作动词。
Use this word as a verb, and you have your high-end vocabulary, you get your extra points.
把这个单词用作动词，那你们就有了你们的高端词汇，就能得到额外的分数。
Use "ire" incorrectly and you're actually losing points. Okay?
使用"ire"不正确的话，你们实际上就在丢分，知道了吗？
Same idea, fewer words, simple words, the message is clear and to the point.
同样的想法，更少的单词，简单的单词，这样信息就很清晰并且正中要点。
Now, for some reason people love this idiom: "a double-edged sword", "Everything is a double-edged sword."
由于某种原因，人们很爱"a double-edged sword"（双刃剑）这个习语，"Everything is a double-edged sword."（每件事都是一把双刃剑）。
The problem with a double-edged sword is that there's two sides to it, and most people don't realize that. Right?
“双刃剑”的问题在于它有两面，但大部分人没有意识到这一点，对吗？
If you're going to use an idiom, make sure you're using it correctly.
如果你们要用习语，请确保你们使用正确。
So, this idiom, "a double-edged sword" means that something, or a situation, or an action has both a positive side and a negative side.
那么，这个习语， "a double-edged sword"的意思是，某个事情或者一个状况，或一种行为既有积极的一面也有消极的一面。
So if you're going to use this idiom, you better explain to the reader: what is the positive, what is the negative? Okay?
所以如果你们要用这个习语，最好给读者解释一下什么是积极的，什么是消极的。
So, this sentence is a double-edged sword.If you can write it like this, then yeah, you're getting a bonus point.
然后说这个句子是一把双刃剑。如果你们能这么写，那么，没错，你们会得到额外的分数。
But on the other side of it, if you write... if you make any mistakes in it, you're losing points.
但是，另一方面，如果你们写......你们在其中犯了任何错误，都会丢分。
So be very careful with vocabulary, extra words that you don't need, and idioms.
所以在词汇、你们不需要的额外单词和习语方面要多加小心。
Now, another thing: Long, complicated sentences, they don't need to be.
现在我们来讲另一个问题：长句、复杂句，它们不用这样的。
Remember I said they're run-on sentences, now, another thing you have to worry about is redundancy.
记得我说过它们是流水句吗？你们要担心的另一件事是"redundancy"（冗余）。
This is a big word, but I'll write it here.If something is redundant, it means it's unnecessary.
这是个大词，不过我会把它写在这儿的。如果某个东西是冗余的，那就说明它是不必要的。
"The CEO's tenure at the company", now, here you noticed I put "at the company".Here... here, I didn't put "the company", why?
就拿"The CEO's tenure at the company"来说吧，你们注意到我在这里写了"at the company"。这里......这里我没有写"the company"，为什么？
A CEO is a head of a company, it's understood that the time at the company, I don't actually need to say it.
CEO是一家公司的领导，所以就能理解为在公司的时间，我不用真的把它说出来。
If you can use three words to say something, don't use five.If you can use five, don't use 10.
如果能用三个单词把某件事说出来，就不要用五个。如果能用五个，就不要用十个。
Less is more, just like when you're putting on makeup, another analogy, there, for you. Okay?
少即是多，就像化妆一样，这是给你们的另一个比方，听懂了吗？
So, this is the most common mistake, let's look at a few more.
所以，这是最常见的错误，我们再来看几个。
Okay, so now we're a little bit busy, here, but I'll squeeze everything into one shot so it's much easier for you.
现在我们这里有点拥挤，不过我会把所有内容都挤进一块儿，这样对你们来说就简单的多了。
What I'm going to do, I'm going to begin by looking at a very classic task, either IELTS or TOEFL will give it to you.
我要做的是，我要从看一个很经典的试题开始，这个题你们要么会在雅思考试碰见，要么会在托福看到。
"Parents make the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree? "
"Parents make the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree? "（家长是最好的老师，你同意吗？）
Okay, you had your introduction, we're talking about parents, we're talking about education, we're talking about children.
好了，开头出来了，我们在谈论的与家长有关、与教育有关、与孩子有关。
Some people believe that parents are the best, some people believe teachers are the best.
一些人认为家长是最好的，一些人认为老师是最好的。
I think that... I agree that parents are the best teachers, okay, your introduction's done.
我觉得......我同意家长是最好的老师，好了，你们的开头写好了。
Let's get into the first body paragraph, so, first, I'm going to read this to you.
我们来进入正文的第一段吧，首先，我要把这个读给你们听。
This is not a complete paragraph, but you'll get the idea.
这不是一个完整的段落，不过你们会弄懂我的想法的。
"Firstly, parents know their child best, including what he likes and doesn't like, such as books he likes to read, or favorite science topics.
“首先，家长最了解他们的孩子，包括他喜欢什么，不喜欢什么，比如他喜欢看的书，或者最喜欢的科学话题。
Parents can also talk to the child's teachers and find out from them how to help him at home.
家长还能跟孩子的老师交谈，从他们那儿弄清楚在家里应该怎样帮助孩子。
They can also monitor how much TV he watches, and cutting down on this might help his concentration..." and on and on. Okay?
他们还能监督孩子看多少电视，而且减少看电视的量也许有助于他的注意力......”然后继续写写写。
I didn't give you the full paragraph, not necessary, you'll understand what I'm getting at.
我没有给你们完整的段落，没有必要，你们会理解我所指的事情的。
So, common mistake number two: No topic sentence.
那么，常见错误二：没有主题句。
If you look at this example, I don't know what this paragraph is about. Right?
看看这个例子，我不知道这一段是关于什么的，不是吗？
A topic sentence is your introduction sentence to the paragraph.
主题句是这一段的引言句。
It's very important to remember that one paragraph has one central idea. Okay?
要记住一个段落有一个中心思想，这很重要。
This central idea must be presented right at the beginning of the paragraph so the reader knows what to expect.
这个中心思想必须在段落的开头呈现，这样读者就知道该期待什么了。
So, in this sentence, we're talking about parents know their child, they know what he likes and what he doesn't like, they know what books he likes, they know what science topics he likes.
所以，在这个句子里，我们要讲家长了解他们的孩子，他们了解他的好恶，他们了解他喜欢什么书，他们知道他喜欢什么科学话题。
What is this paragraph about, is it about books, is it about choosing his books or choosing his science topics, is it about parents know their child, is it about what he likes, what he doesn't like?
这一段是关于什么内容的，是关于书，关于选择他的书或者选择他的科学话题，还是关于家长了解他们的孩子，关于他喜欢什么，不喜欢什么的呢？
I'm assuming that it's: Parents know their child best, okay, so it's about the parents' knowledge of the child, that is what this paragraph is about.
我猜是：家长最了解他们的孩子，所以这是关于家长对孩子的了解，这是这一段所讲的内容。
That is why they are the best teachers, because they know their child.
这是他们是最好的老师的原因，因为他们了解他们的孩子。
Put a period here, and then start with your reasons, this is your topic sentence.
在这里加一个句号，然后开始写理由，这就是你们的主题句。
This is what the paragraph is about, stop, start giving me your support, start elaborating on this key point, and giving me the details, reasons, examples, etc.
这就是这一段的内容，在这里停下，开始给我你们支持这个观点的理由，开始详述关键点，然后给我细节、理由、例子等等。
Too many ideas, so, this basically goes in line with the topic... no topic sentence.
太多想法基本上就等于没有主题句。
So then, okay, they know what he likes, what he doesn't like, his books, etc.
那么，他们知道他喜欢什么，他不喜欢什么，他的书等等。
They can also talk to the child's teachers and find out how they can help him.
他们还可以跟孩子的老师交谈，弄清楚他们怎样才能帮助他。
Okay, that's another way they can do, so, teachers have nobody to ask, or maybe they have the parents, who knows?
好的，这是他们能采取的另一种方式，老师没有人可以问，或者也许他们能问家长，谁知道呢。
So, parents know their child best, parents can talk to the child's teachers, they can find... they can monitor how much TV he watches,
所以，家长最了解他们的孩子，家长能跟孩子的老师交谈，他们能发现......他们能监督他看多少电视，
so they can... this is something else they can do, doesn't have anything to do with what he likes or doesn't like.
这样他们就能......这是他们能做的另一件事，跟他喜欢或不喜欢什么没有任何关系。
They can concen-... they can help his concentration by cutting down on TV, too many ideas, here.
他们能......他们能通过减少他看电视的量帮助他集中注意力，这里的想法太多了。
Now, too many ideas is not a bad thing if each idea is expanded on, you elaborate, you explain why this is important, and you have to connect. Right?
如果每个想法都得到了扩展，你们详细描述了、解释了为什么这一点很重要的话，太多想法也不是件坏事，你们必须要把它们关连起来。
Every sentence must flow in terms of ideas, logically, from one idea to the next.
每个句子必须按照想法流通，有逻辑地从一个想法过渡到下一个。
So, here, this...this sentence and this sentence really have no connection, here, we're talking about what he likes; here about what they can do with their teachers.
所以，这里，这个句子和这个句子真的一点连结都没有，这里我们讲的是他喜欢什么，这里讲的是他们和老师能干什么。
Two completely separate ideas, not connected by anything. Okay?
两个完全不同的想法，没有被任何事情连结起来。
Next, they can talk about TV, they can cut down on TV. Okay.What does that have to do with talking to the child's teachers?
接下来，他们可以讲讲电视，他们可以减少看电视的量。那和跟孩子的老师交谈有什么关系？
Nothing, again, no connection, different idea.
没有关系，再说一次，没有联系，不同的想法。
So the reader is going: "Umm, what are you trying to do here, like, what... what is the purpose of this essay, what is the purpose of this paragraph?"
于是读者会想：“嗯......你在这里想干什么？这篇文章的目的是什么？这一段的目的是什么？”
The point is you're trying to support your idea, why you think parents are the best teacher.
重点是你们要努力支持自己的想法，说明你们为什么认为家长是最好的老师。
Don't just throw in ideas, which brings us to point number four: Good point... so, you're making good points, there's nothing wrong with the ideas, here;
不要光把想法扔进来，这就把我们带到了第四点：言之有理......所以你们要言之有理，这些想法没有问题，
they're actually quite good, quite strong in terms of supporting your opinion.
它们实际上非常好，在支持你们的观点方面相当有力。
But then you don't give me any examples. Okay?
但是接着你们没有给我任何例子。
For example, if you're talking about books, this is like already the second sentence, you're talking about what books he likes, what science he likes...
比如说，如果你们在谈论书，这就像已经在第二段了，你们在谈论他喜欢什么书，他喜欢什么科学......
For example, if a child likes dinosaurs, the parents can then go buy him a dinosaur set, a model set, or books about dinosaurs,
举个例子来说，如果一个孩子喜欢恐龙，那家长可以给他买一套恐龙，一个模型套装，或者一本关于恐龙的书，
or they can take him to the museum to see... the Natural History Museum to see how dinosaurs evolved, and died, and etc.
或者他们可以带他去博物馆看......去自然历史博物馆看恐龙是如何进化的，如何死亡的等等。
Or if you're talking about TV, well, what's wrong with TV? TV can be very educational, but for your purpose, you want to give the example.
或者如果你们在谈论电视，那么，电视有什么问题呢？电视可以很有教育性啊，但是为了你们的目的，你们要给出例子。
If the child is watching too many cartoons or is watching violent movies, he's not going to be able to concentrate on his math homework.
如果孩子看太多动画片或者看暴力电影，他就不能集中注意力完成他的数学家庭作业了。
Right? Or if his imagination is getting carried away, how's he going to concentrate on his science lessons?
对吧？ 或者如果他的脑洞开太大，他要怎么集中于他的科学课呢？
So, give me the points, yes, make sure that you give me concrete examples.
所以，给我观点，没错，但也要确保你们给出了具体的例子。
"Concrete" meaning give me a real thing, something I can actually hold onto.
“具体”是指给我真正的事情，我能真正支持的事情。
The dinosaur set, concrete example, cartoons on TV, concrete examples. Okay?
恐龙套装是具体的例子，电视上的动画片是具体的例子，懂了吗？
Make sure you support your reasons with examples.Make sure you support your argument with reasons.
确保你们用例子佐证了你们的理由。确保你们用理由支持了你们的论点。
Everything has to be connected, better to take only one or two of these ideas, expand on them, and give me examples to support them to make them stronger. Okay?
每件事都必须被连结起来，最好只用这些想法中的一两个，然后对它们进行扩展，给我例子来支持它们，使它们更有力。
So, this is the general idea about the paragraphs in body one, body two.
那么，这是正文一、正文二的段落的总体思路。
Same thing for body two, you're going to a new topic, introduce it with a topic, make sure you have the transition between paragraph,
正文二也是一样，你们要转向一个新话题，用一个话题来介绍它，确保你们在段落之间有过渡，
body paragraph one and two, topic sentence, reason you think so, example, maybe another point, go on to your conclusion.
有正文段落一和二、主题句、你们认为的理由、例子、也许另一个观点，然后转入结尾。
Now, this one, the last one, this is actually a bit of a "pet peeve", I'll explain this expression.
这一个，最后这一点实际上有点"pet peeve"，我会解释这个表达是什么意思的。
A "pet peeve" is something that you find really annoying. Right?Something that happens all the time, and it really bothers you.
"pet peeve"就是你觉得非常烦人的事情。这件事一直发生，而且让你深感烦扰。
So I've had many students, and I've explained to them this point, I'm going to explain to you in a second, and I say: "Don't do this."
我有很多学生，我已经跟他们解释过这一点了，我很快就给你们解释，我说：“不要这么做。”
And then their next essay, they do it again; and then their next essay, they do it again, like, you say: "Don't do it, don't do it", and they do it, and they do it.
然后在他们下一篇作文里，他们会再犯，然后下一篇作文里，又会犯，就像你说“不要这么做，不要这么做”，然后他们就这么做，就这么做。
So, what is the problem?Once you have your opinion, once you've decided agree or disagree, say so once. Okay?
那么，这个问题是什么呢？一旦你们有了自己的观点，一旦你们决定了赞成还是不赞成，只说一次你们的观点。
Use this pronoun: "I agree", "I think", "I believe", "In my opinion" one time in the entire essay.
这些代词"I agree", "I think", "I believe", "In my opinion"在整篇作文里只用一次。
Do not say: "I think" two, three, four times, don't say it twice in the introduction, and then again in the conclusion.
不要说"I think"两次、三次、四次，不要在开头说两次，然后在结尾又说一次。
Say it one time in the introduction if that's where your thesis is.
如果你们的论点在开头的话，就在那儿说一次。
That's it, you're done, don't use the word: "I", "my", "me", "mine" any more in your essay.
就这样，结束，不要再在你们的作文里用"I", "my", "me", "mine"这样的单词了。
The only time you can repeat the personal pronoun is if you have a very personal task question.
你们唯一能重复这种人称代词的时候是在你们有一个很个人的题目的时候。
Would you prefer to live in the city or the country?
你更愿意住在城市还是农村？
Okay, in that case, you can use "I", or "me", or "my" a few times, but even then, you don't need to, so don't.
在这种情况下，你们可以用几次"I"或者 "me"或者"my"，但即使在这种时候，你们也不需要这么做，所以不要这么做。
One time, give me your opinion, that's it, don't give me any more.
一次，阐述你们的观点，就一次，之后就不要再说了。
Now, what happens is I see quite often in the introduction, I see people say: "I think that A, B, C, which is why I believe C, D, E, F." Whatever.
事情是，我经常在开头看见，我看见人们说：“我觉得A, B, C，所以我认为C, D, E, F. ”什么的。
Well, what is your thesis?Is it the first one or the second one? Right?
好吧，你们的论点是什么？是第一个还是第二个？
Usually it will be a bit clear what you're trying to say, but the fact that you say two opinions makes your thesis weak, because I'm not sure, you're not taking a very firm stance.
通常你们要表达的内容会有一点明了，但你们讲了两个观点的事实会减弱你们的论点，因为我不确定你们采取的立场是否非常坚定。
If you think A, B, C, which is why you believe D, E, F, well, you only think A, B, C, which is not a very strong support for D, E, F or believing D, E, F.
如果你们觉得A, B, C，所以认为D, E, F，那你们认为的只有A, B, C，而这对D, E, F或认为D, E, F并没有很强的支持。
Have one firm expression: "I think" something, done.
写一个坚定的表达：我觉得什么什么，结束。
Support it the rest of the essay, in the conclusion, you can restate that opinion, but you don't have to say: "That is why I think", "In conclusion, I think this because that", no.
文章剩下的部分都用来支持这一观点，你们可以在结尾重述一遍这个观点，但你们不必说："That is why I think", "In conclusion, I think this because that"，不要这么说。
"In conclusion, parents make the best teachers for several reasons, including knowledge of their child and..."
综上所述，家长是最好的老师，原因包括对他们孩子的了解......
whatever your second body paragraph was, I don't know, everybody has different ideas.
以及你们第二个正文段落的内容，每个人都有不同的想法。
One time in the whole essay, that's it.So, these are the five common mistakes people make, try to avoid them, your score will go up right away, I can promise you that.
整篇作文只说一次就够了，不要再重复。这些是人们会犯的五个最常见的错误，尽量避免它们你们的成绩就会立马上升，这一点我可以跟你们保证。
If you have any questions, come to www.engvid.com, you can ask me questions in the forum, I will put a quiz to make sure you understand the key concepts, here.
如果有任何问题，请登陆engvid.com，你们可以在论坛里问我问题，我会在那儿上传一个小测验确保你们弄懂了关键概念。
If you need extra help, please visit my site, www.writetotop.com, I have a lot of useful tips for writing there as well.
如果需要额外帮助，请登陆我的网站www.writetotop.com，我在那儿也有很多对写作有用的小技巧。
Subscribe to my YouTube channel and come back soon, I'll see you then, bye.
请订阅我的YouTube频道，欢迎再次观看我的视频，下次见，再见。
